As Young as You Feel Page #2

"You used to throw 'em in for nothin'."

"Not no more," he says.

"Seventy-eight cents."

That'll give you a faint idea. Soup bones!

Seventy-eight cents!

[Scoffs, Sighs]

- So what happened then?

- "So what happened"?

So she picked up my hat

and threw it at me.

- Hit ya?

- Right in the mouth.

"Get out of the house," she yelled.

"I got enough to do without you gettin'

in my way all the time."

Twenty years ago, I'd have thrown

her out of the window for that.

I'm a Hungarian.

"Consolidated Motors."

"Consolidated Motors"?

What's Consolidated Motors got to do

with it? That's what I'd like to know.

- This is a public park...

- Never mind! Don't answer.

I'll find out myself.

[Joe] Now, this is the course

I'd like you to follow in all cases.

We'll put the letter on the automatic

typewriter. Leave the last paragraph...

Young man, what has Consolidated Motors

got to do with Acme Printing Services?

- Grandpa, what are you doing here?

- Never mind. Look at this.

It says I've been fired because it's

the policy of Consolidated Motors...

and its subsidiaries

not to hire men over 65.

I want to know what in thunder

Consolidated Motors has to do with it.

Search me. Hey, Erickson,

this is my girl's grandfather, Mr. Hodges.

He'd like to know what

Consolidated Motors has to do...

with our 65-year-old

retirement rule.

It's really very simple, Mr. Hodges.

If you'll just step this way for a moment.

Now, we of

the Acme Printing Services...

are a subsidiary of

the Bessamer Publishing Services...

whose stock is owned

by the Simpson Iron Foundry...

which recently merged with

the McCullough Nut and Bolt Company...

whose parent organization

is United Hardware...

the director to which is

interlocked with Rutherton Steel...

a subsidiary of Consolidated Motors.

- Does that answer your question?

- Yes, but it seems a little complicated.

- Big business. If you'll excuse me...

- Just a moment, young man.

Do you suppose if I went

to Consolidated Motors...

I might get them to change

such an absurd policy?

Why, Mr. Hodges, you don't mean

you'd seriously consider...

going to Consolidated Motors

about such a policy?

I'd seriously consider going to the North

Pole by dogsled in the heart of winter...

if I thought I could get my job back.

Well, I certainly wouldn't advise

a trip to Consolidated Motors.

Even if you got an appointment,

which is very unlikely...

I don't see how Consolidated Motors could

change its whole employment policy...

involving several hundred thousand people,

just to please you.

Now wait a minute, Erickson.

Maybe you could just write a letter to

the president of Consolidated Motors.

- Tell him how you feel...

- What's his name?

- Whose name?

- The president of Consolidated Motors.

I don't know. Uh, Sloan, Stone...

- Do you know, Mr. Erickson?

- No, but I'll find out.

Mr. Benson, who's president

of Consolidated Motors?

- The president of what?

- The president of Consolidated Motors.

- You got me. Why?

- Never mind.

I'll call Mr. Gallagher's office.

Mr. Gallagher's vice president

in charge of personnel.

- Yeah?

- Pardon me, Mr. Gallagher. Erickson speaking.

Do you happen to know who's

president of Consolidated Motors?

Used to be Knudsen.

No, he was president of... Anyhow, I'm busy.

Yes, Mr. Gallagher.

Thank you, sir.

Mr. Gallagher doesn't know either.

Amazing. Absolutely amazing.

Here's one of the most

important men in America...

a veritable giant of industry...

one of the powers behind

the producing genius that is America...

a man whose decisions

affect millions of people...

yet nobody even knows his name.

- Fairliss. That's it... Fairliss.

- He's president of U.S. Steel.

- Oh.

- Thank you, gentlemen.

You've been a great help.

Good day.

Here it is. I found it.

Consolidated Motors. Look.

Harold P. Cleveland, President.

Congratulations, Miss.

Whether you're aware of it or not...

you have just solved one

of the great mysteries of the age.

#[Piccolo]

#[Piccolo]

Listen to him. Since 11:00

this morning, it's been like this.

It means he's thinking.

He don't have to think

on the piccolo, does he?

- Oh, good morning, Mr. McKinley.

- Good morning, Harriet.

- Bring in your book and the mail.

- Yes, Mr. McKinley.

So what have we got for today?

11:
00 appointment with

Mr. Gallagher of personnel...

1:
00 luncheon with a representative

of the Blakewell Paper Company.

- I'd like some coffee, dear.

- Yes, Mr. McKinley.

Then there's your tailor, the barber,

the man about those shirts you ordered.

- And don't forget your pills.

- What the devil is this?

I don't know, sir.

I didn't have time to open it.

- [Gallagher On Intercom] Yes, Mr. McKinley.

- Listen, Gallagher.

I just got a letter from the executive

secretary of Consolidated Motors...

advising me that Harold P. Cleveland

will be in town Tuesday.

Will I please show him

every possible courtesy?

- What the devil is this all about?

- I don't know. Beats me.

Get Herbert in New York.

If you don't mind, I don't like it.

What the devil does the president of

Consolidated Motors want to come here for?

- Maybe he's just passing through.

- Okay.

But I wish you'd please tell me

what the devil this is all about.

- Have we ever heard of this bird before?

- Not that I recall.

Hello, Mr. Herbert? Just a moment.

Mr. McKinley calling.

Hello, Herbert? Listen. I just got a letter

saying the president of Consolidated...

is coming up here

to inspect my plant next week.

I'd like to know why all of a sudden is

Consolidated fishing around my place?

Well, maybe it is just a goodwill tour,

but I don't like goodwill tours.

So do me a favor.

Get ahold of whoever you can...

and find out if there's been a change

in Consolidated Motors' policy

toward its subsidiaries.

Maybe they've decided to quit printing,

make more cars or something.

Okay. Call me back.

I want every executive

in the conference room at 10:30.

- And cancel Gallagher.

- Yes, Mr. McKinley.

- Make three copies of this as soon as you can.

- Yes, Mr. McKinley.

Listen, gentlemen, the president

of Consolidated Motors...

is coming here next Tuesday

to inspect our plant personally.

I don't mind telling you, I don't like big

shots sticking their noses in my business.

How do we know they haven't decided to

convert this place into an assembly line?

And remember, you fellas are

in this just as deep as I am.

Your very jobs may depend upon it.

Our only hope is to make a good impression.

I'd like to see some drawn looks

on your faces, as if you'd been

working overtime for months.

And I'd like to see

this place really humming.

Gallagher, how about that trouble we've

been having with the Bookbinders Local?

- We've got at least a month

before any action will be taken.

- Never mind how much time.

I'd like to strike a note of accord

in time for the inspection...

give an impression of a factory full

of happy employees.

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