Ask the Dust Page #7

I'll get a job in another one.

Oh, wait till Ezra and Matilda

hear about this. I'm ruined. Sunk. Lost.

Now, now, listen. You don't...

Camilla?

- Camilla, are you all right in there?

- I'm fine.

Then what's

taking so long?

Nothing.

Hey,

let's go.

Or you want to watch

the rest of the picture?

- I've seen enough already.

- Good.

Come on.

Is something wrong?

Beside from the obvious.

- The obvious? What would that be?

- Getting upset like I did.

- Well, it was upsetting.

- Well, I overreacted.

Well, sometimes

you just can't help yourself.

What are you doing? Give me that!

Let go!

Goddamn you!

You're gonna get us killed!

- You let go! Let go!

- Let go!

You've been doing this all along,

haven't you?

- What's it matter?

- It doesn't. You'll give your word,

swear to God,

swear on a stack of Bibles,

none of it matters,

not when it comes to marijuana.

But it's not the marijuana. It's me.

- What are you talking about?

- What else?

I saw it tonight at the movies. I felt it.

I embarrass you just being by your side.

You call me beautiful at home,

then you're ashamed

to be seen with me in public.

You're ashamed of beauty

you recognize that no one else does.

- You're ashamed to love me.

- Camilla, I swear to God, that's not true.

- Prove it.

- How?

Marry me.

You see? That'll never happen.

You know why?

'Cause you're too ashamed

of being Italian to marry a Mexican.

If it wasn't the marijuana,

it would've been something else.

Go home, Arturo.

Go home and drink to life, liberty

and the pursuit of happiness.

Camilla!

Willie!

Willie!

I had to get out of there.

I used some of the advance money

from the book

and bought the '31 Ford

from the bait shop.

Camilla? She just up and quit.

- Where'd she go?

- Who knows?

She packed up her place

over at the Alameda, too.

Back in L.A., it wasn't any better.

I looked for Camilla everywhere,

and everywhere I looked,

all the faces seemed like mine.

Tight. worried. Lost.

Faces with the blood drained away.

Faces like flowers torn from their roots,

the colors fading fast.

Mr. Bandini.

"Dear Mr. Bandini,

"things out here in Pearblossom

"haven't gone so good

the last few months.

"I'm not doing real well and

that Mexican girl is sick as a dog

"and getting sicker every day.

"You best come get her

before she cashes in on me."

Where's Sammy?

I gave him 30 bucks

and told him to take a hike.

Why, you miss him?

I'll get over it.

- What are those?

- You know what they are.

- I'm taking you back to L.A.

- Oh, I am not going anywhere with you.

Why should I? You'll just gloat to me.

Over me. It's gloat over me.

That's exactly what I'm talking about.

You're just here so you can

remind me how inferior I am.

Now I'm not just a dumb spic,

but a sick one.

Well, feast your eyes.

I'm here because

I love you.

And I want to marry you.

What did you say?

I said, I want to marry you.

Holy sh*t.

I remember the first day

you walked into the caf.

You made me mad.

Arturo, you're always mad at something.

Like what else?

How about the world?

I just keep reminding you

of how mad at it you are.

It's the way you look.

The way I look?

Beautiful.

The first time I saw you, I figured

I'd never be good enough for you,

no matter what I do

for the rest of my life.

Come here.

Come here.

Come here.

Oh, I love you.

From the minute you saw me.

No.

You sort of grew in me.

On me.

Grew on me.

No, you grew in me.

Like a baby.

- Arturo.

- Yes, Camilla.

In the future,

make more of an effort to be nicer

to people when you meet them.

Okay.

First impressions are very important.

- Try to make a good one.

- Okay.

- It makes things easier.

- I understand. Okay, okay.

- Okay.

- Okay.

Camilla Bandini.

I think I could get used to it.

Don't let go.

Don't ever let go of me. Don't ever...

Camilla, I'll get you to the doctor.

Camilla?

"When I was a kid back in Colorado,

"it was Smith and Parker and Jones

who hurt me with their hideous names,

"Who called me wop and dago

and greaser,

"and their children hurt me

just as I hurt you.

"They hurt me so much,

I could never become one of them.

"Drove me to books.

Drove me within myself.

"Drove me to run away

from that Colorado town

"and into your home and your life.

"And sometimes,

"When I see their faces out here,

"the same faces, the same set

of hard mouths from my hometown,

"I'm glad they're here

fulfilling the emptiness of their lives

"and dying in the sun.

"And they hate me and my father

and my father's father,

"but they are old,

and I am young and full of hope

"and love for my country and my times."

And Camilla,

when I said greaser to you,

it was not my heart that spoke,

but the quivering of an old wound.

And I am ashamed

of the terrible thing I have done.

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