Assault on a Queen Page #2

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[STARTS ENGINE]

Now let's go..

Checked out

the compressor.

And the helmet, too.

Any special

instructions?

Nothing special.

Just keep me alive.

You bet.

What's holding

things up fellas?

Patience, Victor,

Patience.

He's only good

to us alive.

You told us one hour

at a time.

I'd like you

to put something

into that hour.

I've got afew

thousand pounds

of weight on me,

so relax.

It's going

to take a while.

[MARK]

Hey, partner.

What have you got,

Mark?

The fatigue

and the blues.

Pull me up,

Linc.

Now, wait a minute.

You've still got

8 or 10 minutes of the hour left.

Well, you can

have them back,

Buddy.

Pull me up.

Pull him up right away.

Let's not have

the same thing happen again.

All right.

Pull him up.

Hold it.

wait a minute.

hold it.

Did you find something?

Think so, yeah. i/

What is it Mark?

What is it?

It's a sight

to delight

Mr. Lauffnaur's

practiced eye.

I wish you were

down here,

i/Herr Kapitan.i/

The nostalgia

would kill you.

Describe it.

Hmm, very simple. i/

It's a German submarine, i/

Kapitan.

Ask Rossiter

if he'll settle

for World War II

souveniers,

Or we could raise her

and you could put her in

your parlor as a memento.



[MARK]

All right, Linc..

Pull me up.

What sre you

looking for Eric, ghosts?

Really incredible.

She was one

of the small jobs.

Reported missing

I think about 1943.

Hmm, fascinating.

Well,

thanks for nothing, Brittain.

I guaranteed a look,

not a find, Buddy.

What do you guess

her tonnage to be?

Oh, I don't know.

I'd say maybe 300.

She looked undamaged.

My guess is

that her ballast tanks are still full.

What looked

like the escape hatch was closed.

I don't know

if anybody got out of her,

but she's probably full

of sea water anyway.

What if her valves held?

They might have held.

If her valves held,

she's dry. So what??

With the tanks blown,

we could raise her.

Raise her?

Raise her?

What the hell would we do

with a submarine?

Refit her. Use her

For sightseeing.

Sell her to a museum.

The possibilities

are endless.

Brittain, do you think

you could find it?

The sub, probably.

Do you think you could

find it right now?

Again, probably,

but why?

I'd like you to attach

a line and float a buoy.

You mean right now?

Right now.

That'll be overtime.

We'll pay you.

Where do you get

this "we"?

Rosa's doing

the financing, check with her.

You have

a reason?

Yes.

I'd like

to think it out.

Then I'll explain.

That's good enough

for me.

All right,

we'd better get to it.

There's not much daylight.

Lincoln, let's go.

Hey, uh Captain?

Mm-hmm?

You ever get

depth-charged?

Yes, often.

Slip and fall down

and maybe hit your head

a little bit?

I'm quite sane, Mr. Brittain.

Big deal. So now

we lasso a submarine..

Would you like

to explain why, Eric?

If we can raise her and refit her...

Why not play pirates.

Good evening.

Evening. You want Mark?

Yes, I'd like to see him.

Hey Mark.

Yo!

We've got company.

Well...

Oh, hello.

I was afraid

you might be sleeping.

No, it's too early

for that. Come on aboard.

Thank you.

Watch your head.

beautiful night, huh?

Like Naples?

Stars are stars.

Ever look at them, Mr. Brittain?

On occasion, yes.

For navigational

purposes only.

Mm-hm, but not

romantically?

Tell me something,

Miss Lucchesi,

is this

a mid-week seduction

or the opening gambit

of a con job?

Is that

how I strike you?

You're financing

this whole operation, are you not?

Yes, with all

the money I have, Mr. Brittain.

In Italy,

during the war,

I lost my family,

my illusions,

my patience.

I want only

one thing now--

To never be

cold or wet or hungry again.

Is that terrible

for you?

Well, it depends.

If you're telling me

that you'll settle

for three meals a day and Vic Rossiter,

then I got to say

You got cheap tastes.

But if you're

looking for sable and a deluxe cruiser,

well, that makes

more sense.

I want more than that.

I want my life to be

whipped cream

and silk sheets.

And without problems.

You're not exclusive.

Perhaps I am not.

I'll steal, if necessary.

But, uh I have

certain reservations.

That's interesting.

Now, what kind

of reservation?

For instance

uh, a hot stove you wouldn't steal?

I wouldn't steal from those

whocouldn't afford to lose.

How do you like this?

A blonde Italian Robin Hood.

What about you,

Mr. Brittain?

Do you have

a master plan or a set ofdreams?

I don't need them.

I just live my life

as I see fit,

and do what I want.

I have a ball.

I take things

as they come.

Then take this,

will you?

This is the sort

of thing

that comes one time

in your life.

Go on.

Eric has an idea,

an incredibleidea.

If we could raise

that sub,

get it yo work,

why not pirates?

You're kidding me.

You think I'm kidding?

A hijack

with a submarine?

Mm-hmm.

I got a better idea.

We put you in a bikini

and strap you

to the wings of a 707,

and we fly you

over Fort Knox.

While all the people

on the ground are looking at you,

we sneak

in the back door and steal the gold.

Please.

Take me seriously.

You I take seriously.

But not some pipe dream

about running off in a submarine

to pull a heist

on the high seas.

That, Miss Lucchesi,

is for laughs.

Have you ever thought

about what you could get

by even pointing a gun

at an ocean liner?

30 years, if we're lucky.

Failing that,

that leaky war memorial at the ocean bottom

might wind up

back at the ocean bottom,

but this time

with all of us in it.

Will you come over

to the motel and discuss this?

I don't think so.

If you're

so difficult now, Mr. Brittain,

how can we ever

become friends?

I got a funny feeling

we are friends.

Very good friends.

Linc.

What?

There are three idiots

over at the motel having a seance,

and they need

two more idiots to make a quorum.

And they sent for us?

Who else?

We could stop

the Queen Mary

anywhere here,

just off the coast

of Abaco Island.

We'll travel

at night, surface, wait for her.

Wait a minute.

Just a moment.

That submarine's

been on the bottom of the ocean

for 20 years.

Brittain, let me

ask you something.

Can you guarantee

that you'd be able

to raise her?

I guarantee you nothing.

For argument's sake,

Mr. Lauffnaur,

let's assume she's dry.

Let's further assume

you can raise her

and get her

in operating condition.

Enter the gracious Queen.

What are you going

to do with her?

Or to her?

There must be thousands

of dollars in the bank

and gold in her

bullion room.

We could take

a million dollars.

I'll bet it could even

be more than a million.

This could be

the biggest heist ever.

It could be a lot

of things...

Assuming you can get

the Queen Mary

to stop for you.

Man has a big point.

Think of it this way.

Think of a submarine

as a big pistol

that holds men

and machinery.

Then you aim this pistol

at the head

of your victim...

Full of blanks,

mind you--

torpedoes

with dummy warheads.

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