At Long Last Love Page #8

He said, "Can he bat?"

Oh, that's very funny.

It's not over yet. It's the

longest joke I've ever heard.

If you'd be quiet, I could finish it.

Well, go on. Finish it.

All right.

The manager says,

"Can he bat?"

And the trainer answers, "Whoever

heard of a horse that can bat?"

Yeah? Go on.

Oh, forget it.

Kill him! Kill him!

Hit him on the head! Kill him!

Yes! Go!

Kill him! Kill him!

What?

I'll be right back.

All right, Ollie.

Excuse me.

Excuse me. Excuse me.

Oh!

'Saw

You-

Ah, yes.

Excuse me.

Johnny, what happened to you?

Our show is a very big success.

It is?

Oh, very big.

I think we close tonight.

Oh.

Johnny Spanish-wonderful chap.

And he's in love with you.

That's what he told me.

Mm-hmm.

And Kitty and I-Well, she makes

me laugh.

Anyway, Johnny and I-Well, we

decided to make it up between us.

I hope you're

very happy together.

No, seriously.

He's got a big poker game or something

over in Staten Island tonight,

and this time he's positive

his ship is gonna come in.

Mm-hmm. Like the Titanic.

And he's gonna call you tomorrow.

Hmph.

He doesn't hold anything

against us.

As a matter of fact, he feels...

Why don't you just come out

and say what you mean?

Well,

as Dorothy Parker once said

to her boyfriend...

Fare thee well

Mm-hmm.

As Columbus announced

when he knew he was bounced...

It was swell, Isabelle

Swell

Yeah, but... As Abelard

said to Heloise

Don't forget to drop a line

to me, please

You mean- As Juliet

cried in her Romeo's ear;

"Romeo, why not face

the fact, my dear?"

Sure.

It was just one

of those things

Just one of those

crazy flings Mm-hmm.

One of those bells

that now and then ring

Just... one of those things.

That's right.

It was just

one of those nights

Just one of those

fabulous flights

A trip to the moon

on gossamer wings

Just one of those things

Taxi!

If we'd thought a bit

about the end of it

Take me home. When we

started painting the town

We'd have been aware

that our love affair

Too hot...

not to cool down.

So good-bye, dear,

and amen

Here's hoping

we meet now and then

It was great fun

But it was just one

Oi those 'Mugs

I wonder which is which.

Excuse me?

No, I won't.

Now, really, Elizabeth.

I don't see why you

continue to blame me for the actions

of my employer.

After all,

it's none of our affair.

You watch your words, junior,

unless you want a fat lip.

I didn't mean-I know what you meant.

You know what he meant, don't ya?

Don't exert yourself, Mertle.

She's probably hungry. I'll take

care of my bird. Thanks a lot.

All right.

Just drive, curly.

Just drive.

Right through there, boys.

Hello.

Are you here? It's Johnny. No!

That's what I thought.

She says she's not here.

No kiddin'.

Brooke, he says he's won

a half-a-million-dollar pot!

"Congralutations."

She says, "Congralutations."

He wants to know

if you want to help him spend it.

I'm not here.

She's not here.

Okay. Sorry, Johnny.

Good-bye.

Okay. The show's over, boys.

Beat it.

You look like you ain't et in a week.

Ain't ya hungry?

Huh?

Did you see the paper?

Your pal bought

a new horse for Kitty,

but Rod says she's not

answering her phone neither.

Yeah, I thought you'd like it.

Well, I got a reaction anyway.

I'm glad to see you ain't blind yet.

Order more champagne.

Oh, come on, honey!

Ain't you had enough?

No guy is worth this.

What guy?

I'm just an "alhocolic."

All right.

Well, I'll order some more up for you,

but first I gotta wash up a little...

and feed Mertle.

She's starving.

I'll be right back.

Take your time.

Take your time.

Newspapers.

People buying horses.

It's disgusting.

Silliest thing I ever heard.

Newspapers are.

Oh.

My story is much too sad

to be told

But practically

everything

Leaves me totally cold

The only

exception I know

Is the case

When I'm out on

a quiet spree

Fighting vainly

the old ennui

And I suddenly

turn and see

Your fabulous

Face

I get no kick

from champagne

Mere alcohol

doesn't thrill me at all

So tell me,

why should it be true

That I get a kick

out of you?

Some get a kick

from cocaine

I'm sure that if

I took even one sniff

That would bore me

terrifically too

Yet I get a

kick out of you

I get a kick

every time I see you

Standing there before me

I get a kick

though it's clear to me

You obviously don't

Adore me

I get no kick in a plane;

Flying too high

with some guy in the sky

Is my idea

Of nothing to do

Yet I get a kick

Out of you

I'm coming!

Hold your horses!

What?

Telegram for Miss Carter, madam.

I'm a "miss" too, wise guy.

Oh. No slur intended.

Oh. No tip neither.

Beth, you could have

given him a dime.

Snooks, we ain't got a...

I can't see very well,

but isn't your mouth hanging open?

Honey, it is a miracle.

Listen.

"Dear Brooke,"

"Have today wired your bank

one million unsullied American dollars."

"Will write soon.

Love, your sullied mother."

What the hell

does "sullied" mean?

That's British for "Ole."

Oh.

Come on. Get up.

Why?

'Cause we are going to

that old "400" dance tonight.

We are not!

Yes, we are.

I'm tired of you mopin' around.

I haven't got anything to wear!

You've got

a million dollars, dummy.

What's a million dollars

without love?

It ain't hay, Snooks.

Come on, children. Come on.

Tony will be-

Could you please help?

Come on, Alexander.

We'll go home soon.

Mommy!

No!

This is very cute.

Miss?

Oh, do you want this?

You got it.

Excuse me, miss.

Could you come over here, miss?

Brooke, you've gone bananas.

It ain't hay, Snooks.

Brookski?

Kathy!

I'm so sorry.

I ruined everything.

Oh, no, no. It's not your fault.

We can't blame a soul.

I can think of

a couple of heels.

You don't hate me?

Are you kidding?

P.S...

1-2-2!

Oh, come on, you two.

Cut it out.

Trouble is, nobody ever learned you

the facts of life. Shove over.

When Mummy

in her sixteenth year

Was dreaming of romance

a lot

She thought

that she was Guinevere

And every boy

Sir Lancelot

Sir Lancelot.

Guinevere.

Come on in.

This is free.

But now that Mummy's

more mature

And knows her way about

She don't believe

in "Vive l'amour"

For Mummy's found out;

Most gentlemen

don't like love

They just like to

kick it around

Most gentlemen

can't take love

'Cause most gentlemen

can't be profound

As Madam Sappho

In some sonnet said

A slap and a tickle

is all that the fickle male

Ever has in his head

Most gentlemen

don't like love

They just like to

kick it around

So just remember;

What?

When you get that glance

What is this?

A romp and a quickie

Oh!

Is all little

Dickie means

When he mentions romance

That's right.

Take that!

And that!

In every land, children

What?

They're all the same

Yes.

A pounce in the clover

Then when it's over

"So long and

what is your name?"

Follow me!

Up. One, two, three, four

five, six, seven, eight.

Most gentlemen

don't like love

They just like to-

Most gentlemen

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