At the Circus Page #4

---

Go ahead, it's all right.

I've carried many a torch,|but never on such a large scale.

Do you realize|if Jeff had been hit a little harder...

the charge would have been murder.|Pronounced murder?

Yes, murder.

How would you like to go to Sing Sing|and get the high chair?

You better not lay a hand on me.|You ain't the law.

You're right.|We haven't got anything on you.

Anyone can make a mistake.|No hard feelings.

- No, not at all.|- Let's shake on it.

Let's smoke on it.

Heck, I seem to be all out of cigars.

You don't happen to have a spare cheroot|on you, do you?

I find one more. Are you lucky.

I thought this cigar was in my other suit.

I wish you were in your other suit|and it was being pressed.

- No, mangled.|- I just remember. This is my other suit.

You know, these cigars are imported.|They're hard to get.

I haven't had any trouble getting them,|not with that plantation under your vest.

Boss, you're not getting any evidence.

No, but I'm getting tobacco heart.

You better tell the truth,|half the truth, and nothing but the truth.

I told you to eat corn flakes for breakfast,|not the goldenrod.

Are you guys trying to wreck my house?

Wait till the finance company|sees this furniture.

Are you gonna get it.

You fellows got no right coming here,|raising such a rumpus.

I don't raise no rumpus.

I'm gonna sue you.

If you need a good lawyer,|I'm your man. Cheever Loophole.

Hold it.

It's all right.

I stand in the rain, and he sneezes.

They can't be mine.

That's definite. They're not mine.

- Go away.|- What? Go out from under your life?

Get away.

Playing piggyback. At my age.

You're the prettiest millstone|I ever had around my neck.

You fool.

We'll be very happy together,|if my back holds out.

Put me down.

Mr. Loophole, have you met|Peerless Pauline?

No. How do you do?

- Put me down, you fool.|- Reluctantly.

All right, let her go.

Careful, you're talking|of the woman I love.

Carter loves her, too. She's his girl.

I just thought of something.

Maybe Carter knows something|about the stolen money...

and if Pauline's his girl,|maybe she knows something, too.

If she doesn't, it'll be fun teaching her.

Legal eagle.

Here it is, babe. The whole $10,000.

Why don't you quit that|while I'm talking to you?

I got to break in these new shoes.|I nearly fell today.

Break them in some other time.

Take care of this money.

I think that lawyer suspects me,|and I don't want to have it on me.

There he is. I bet he's up to something.

Go on, get out of here. I'll handle him.

Be careful,|and find out if he knows anything.

It's me, or it's I. At any rate, it's one of us.

- Come in.|- Pauline.

Are you home?

What do you want?

If this is a spirit reading...

I'd like something good in the fourth|at Belmont.

- Hello, brown eyes.|- Hello, brown...

Say, you're up early today, aren't you?

You're like a beautiful chandelier.|I'd like to be around when you get lit up.

What brings you here?

Lots of reasons. 10,000 reasons.

What are you doing?

Don't mind me.|I'm just a talent scout for Alcatraz.

Let me phrase it more delicately.

Where were you when Jeff got bopped|on the conk and clipped for his roll, babe?

Why, Mr. Loophole,|surely you don't think that l...

Egad, no.

Anyone who looks at you|can see that you're not hiding anything.

You're a lawyer, aren't you?

- They tell me you're a great lawyer.|- Who does? Not my clients.

Certainly not the ones|that were hung last week.

- Have you solved your case?|- What case?

Whatever case you're working on.

Let's not sit here and talk about little me.|Let's talk about little you.

Have you deposited $10,000|in the bank lately?

Whatever made you say that?

You know what the French say:|"Cherchez la femme." Find the footprints.

- Peanut brittle?|- No, thanks.

- There's no point in my staying here.|- Don't go, please.

Perhaps you'll think I'm forward...

but last night when I first saw you...

And slammed the door on my face.

...I realized that you're the man|I've been dreaming of.

What do you eat before you go to bed?

I've waited so long|to find someone like you.

Someone like me?|I'm not good enough for you?

Don't say that. I'm not good enough.

You ought to know. But I really have to go.

Don't go. No, please.

- I can't stay.|- No, stay.

- I'd love to stay, but...|- Yes, please. Really.

Your father wasn't by any chance|an octopus, was he?

No, I really have to go.

- Don't go, please.|- I'll be right back.

I'm back.

So sorry you have to go.

The thing I like about you|is money doesn't go to your head.

I hope you solve the case|you're working on.

It's out of my hands.|It's been a private investigation...

but right now I could use|the long arm of the law.

Law?

But you don't have to go right now,|do you?

There's nothing to keep me here|that I can see from this angle.

But we hardly know each other.

I can be very entertaining if I want to be.

There must be some way|of getting the money...

without getting in trouble|with the Hays Office.

Will you walk on your hands?

Silly boy, of course not.

All right, forget about it.|Will you walk on the ceiling?

And when I'm on the ceiling,|you'll run out and call...

You'll run away.

That's the farthest thought from my mind,|so help me the law of gravity.

All right, I'll walk on the ceiling|if you will, too.

No, thanks. I'll sit this one out.

I'm just an old groundhog.|I shouldn't even be out until February.

But it's so easy.

The bottom of the shoe creates a suction|that holds you up on the ceiling.

No, I'd rather not.|I have an agreement with the houseflies.

The flies don't practice law,|and I don't walk on the ceiling.

You'll love it.

Come on, Cheever.

Are you sure we're not being too hasty?|After all, I am just a boy.

- You're a trouper, an aerial star.|- You could be, too.

You're tall, you're strong.

You're nearsighted.

Hurry, Cheever.

You're not fooling, now?|You will walk on the ceiling?

Only with you.

Don't look, now. No peeky-weeky.

I'll bet you're laughing at me inside.

And to think I might have roamed|the whole world over and never found you.

Ready, darling?

I know I'm going to hate myself for this|in the morning.

- Why, you look like a million.|- I'll settle for $10,000.

- Suppose you go first.|- Why?

In case you fall, I'll be here to pick it up.

No. Let's go up together.

If that's your best offer,|but I'm not making a nickel on it.

Once you do this you'll never forget it.

The last time I stood on a ceiling|was at a lodge meeting.

The chairman had the floor.

How am I doing here?

Careful, Cheever.

You don't want to reach over|and hold this thing?

Come on. Lift your body|and clamp your foot on the ceiling.

A very good morning to you, Mrs. Murphy.

- Help.|- There. I knew you'd like it.

Say, I like this.

I never thought|we'd be hanging around together.

I can't tell you how much|I appreciate this. Shake.

I see.

Pauline, let's never lose|this thrilling moment.

Think of it.|You and I, heels over head in love.

Rate this script:5.0 / 1 vote