At War with the Army

---

War. Total war. A struggle for

survival.

In this era of force and

destruction....

...historians will argue. What was

the most influential factor.

What was the most deadly

instrument? The most deadly weapon?

Was it the overwhelming manpower?

Was it the blistering fire of the burning rockets?

Was it the thundering mail from

heaven? The bombs, the blockbusters?

Was it the lightening like descention of

the silent parachute?

Was it the whithering stutter of the

light machine-gun?

Or the spectacle from the

command troops?

Was it the big jaggonat of the patton tanks?

Was it the flame-thrower?

Or was it the screaming anger of faster

than sound, quicker than this: the B-2 rocket?

No! It was none of these things.

The most effective, the most deadly....

The most terrifying weapon of all

time was.

Yes, you're right. The sergeant's

whistle.

All right you guys, now I'm gonna

tell you something.

The adjutant is coming, see? And

as usual the Colonel ain't very happy.

And I ain't very happy either. Look at this joint.

It looks like Coney Island on a Monday morning.

- Hi Serg,

- Have you seen Corwin?

Yeah, I seen him, but I couldn't take him so

I sent him over to the mess hall. He's on KP.

- Okay, take them away.

- Right Serg.

All right my friends. I want you fall out, spread out,

and pick up everything that ain't growing or nailed down.

Let's go. Give us some food.

Come on, come on!

let's have it.

- What are they gripping about?

- Well, they've got to eat them.

Well, I've got to cook them.

Let's get out of here, it the

Sergeant.

- What do you think you're cooking

around here? - Beans?

Oh shut up! You've been getting away with murder,

and it's got to stop. Understand? Shut up!

Just because we were friends before and used

to work together, I've been covering up for you.

That's gotta stop too. Do you

understand? Shut up!

get your pack and everything that goes with it. I

want to see you down front in 5 mins. Understand?

Shut up!

You're going to go on a long, long journey

and you may not be back this way. Understand?

Shut up!

Get to packing, everything goes with

it, be down there in 5 minutes. SHUT UP!

Going on a long, long trip, might not

be there when you're finished. SHUT UP!

SHUT UP! SHUT UP!

It'll go under AR 605/300..

before the CO can get it un 104 and

Now the record goes on WVA 20

and 24.

He could be eligible for a 615/360.

Section 7, paragraph 49.

Oh sure, I get it.

Sure and an MR19-2 and the profile

is 24.4.4.4D.

Oh boy, I ain't in the army, I'm back

in the numbers racket.

Here's the mail Corporal.

Well, guess I'll take another crack at

that bandit. Do you think it will work?

Should. There was a guy in here a

while ago who fixed it.

about time.

How do you like that? Now you

don't even get the nickel back.

Creepy army. I asked for a transfer again and

they throw me right out of Italian headquarters.

Shawnessy, how many times do I have

to tell you that this ain't a day room.

- Got a cigarette?

- Yeah, here.

- Tell Sergeant McWell I want to see

him right away. - Right!

- Is Miller in?

- Yeah.

Hey Miller, what do you think we've

got here, midgets?

Captain, what about this training

film here tomorrow morning?

Oh yes.....that begins at 7 o'clock.

The theater is 2 blocks away so I

think we'd better fall out at 6:35.

They'll want us in front of ltalian

headquarters.

Not later than 6:25.

In that case Davenport, have the

men lined up and ready to go

at...6:
15.

- Roger. I take care of that Sir. Right away.

Oh Liuftanant! One more thing ...

make sure ...

look what they gave Miller to issue

to every men in the company.

Bulletprrof underwear. Know that means dont you..

- Sure .. South Pacific.

- Serg!

- As you are.

Serg we have a special movie tomorrow morning

I want the men in uniform ..

and ready to fall out at 10 minutes past six.

- Yes Sir.

Just one more thing Sergant.

Just to make sure

You better have men to fall out five mins past six.

- Yes Sir.

Serg, that guy is lost again.

Well, you'd better find him.

- Right Serg.

Hey, you see them lights? You see

that sign?

Let's be turning them off.

Sergeant McWeel, we've got to see

the work, don't we?

Well, what if Colonel Davis comes?

He don't like lights on in the daytime.

Another thing McWell, the company

has an early formation tomorrow and

you'd better have those men fall out

at 5 minutes before 6.

- 5 minutes before 6 huh?

- Yeah.

I tell you, I've got some names here

that are cock-a-may-mes.

...Rodowsky. ..Smellywesh...

Keselioshmiasch.

Why don't we pull them out early,

say 5:
45 huh?

- Okay.

- Right Serg.

Some day this guy is going to blow

his brains out.

If you ask me, he's already done it.

Yes sir. Yes Captain.

Yes sir!

See the first Sergeant in the other

room.

Go around the outside. Through

that door.

That door.

I said that door.

Got a cigarette? No, I quit.

- Can't afford it.

There you are. Where've you

been?

Fine looking specimen you are.

Get over there. Look at you! Look at this!

Fix the helmet. Now get out on the parade

grounds. Ten times round. Double time. Understand?

Then come back here. I've got

plans for you.

Go on, get the lead out of your

bucket.

Wait a minute. Come here.

Got a cigarette?

- I've been arguing with him again.

- Oh yeah?

I don't dig this army at all. I want

overseas....

....I stay here. The guys that want

to stay here, get overseas.

- You forget, there's a war on.

- Yeah, but what do we get to do about it?

When I was civilan, we had something going every

min. Singing, dancing, working in nightclubs.

I join the army, I sit on my hands.

I'm hungry. Think I'll inspect the

mess hall.

- Hi ya Serg. Been waiting up for me?

- How come you're late Edwards?

I was drunk. I don't blame you. With a

kisser like that, I'd be loaded all the time.

- Thank-you.

- You're welcome, now go to barracks Edwards,

get into your fatigues and report back here.

And if you have any social engagements,

call your secretary and have her cancel them.

Sergeant's real brave today.

I get any mail?

Sure took you a long time to sober up.

took me a long time to get drunk.

My new girl had a date with another

Joe last night.

What's the matter, losing your

appeal?

Does that look like I'm losing my appeal?

Wow! Very tasty.

Hello.

Hello.

-Is Sergeant Puccinelli in?

- No, he's out.

What did you want to see him

about?

It's of a rather personal nature.

- Would you like to leave a message.

- Yes, just tell him Nelly was here.

I'll be back in 10 minutes.

On second thought, do you mind if I

sit here and wait for a while.

- Oh no, go right ahead.

- Thanks.

Clark, do you have that field....

manual?

I want four copies of this Clark, it is

to go to the ad agent.

- But sir, I did this yesterday.

- Oh you did?

Yes sir.

So you did. Well, I want one more

copy.

Yes, sir.

You know, it takes fantastic

amount of paperwork to administer

even little tank company, such as we have here.

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