Athena Page #2

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spill this, it's precious stuff

What do you use it for?

Oh, this is Grandpas sassafras cure

he got from an old Indian.

There's never been a Ute with arthritis.

Did you know that?

I've never know any Utes.

Is your grandfather a pharmacist?

But you can't market

medicine without a license.

- Are you a detective?

- No, I'm a lawyer.

- Good day, Miss.

- But I thought I could mulch your trees.

Some other time.

Oh my... I'm sorry, but we

can't ever mulch together.

Well, if we can't, we can't.

But I'm curious to know

why you've changed your mind.

Nine. It's obvious that a Four

man and a Three month of a Nine car

has no place with a Six girl.

Goodbye, Mr. Shaw.

You've convinced me,

goodbye and thank you.

Roy! Roy! I'm home!

- Good evening, Sir.

- Any calls?

No calls.

Good! Would you get me some

ice please I could use a drink.

Would a Martini do, Darling?

Beth!

What a pleasant surprise.

I'm not late or anything, am I, we...

we didn't have an appointment did we?

Not until eight tonight.

I've been tooting around

all afternoon and I felt

I had to have a drink otherwise

I couldn't make it home.

- One mustn't gulp Martinis.

- That one was purely medicinal.

Have you have any idea

what happens when a Four man

in a Three month runs into a

Six woman when he has a Nine car?

- And did you know peach trees are snobs?

- Adam, you're out of your mind.

I'm merely quoting. I ran into a numerologist

today and that's what she told me.

I couldn't get rid of her.

Fortunately my license added up

to something dismal and I escaped.

Excuse me, Sir, a lady to see you.

This is the young lady

I was speaking about.

You really shouldn't be here, you know,

remember about the fours and sixes and things?

Mr. Benevuchi told me

you have five peach trees

which siphons you off and

makes your system fluid.

You're really neuter.

Isn't that heaven?

Neuter, that's some new description.

This is my fiance, Miss

Hallson, and this is...

Athena Mulvain.

Roy, if you'll just show Miss

Mulvain where the peach trees are

she can get on with her

mulching and be home before dark.

Yes, Sir, but it's a waste of time,

the trees are dead.

Oh, Roy, you must be a Two Man,

you're so pessimistic.

- When were you born.

- August 18, 1928.

On the nose! But don't worry,

next month is just great for twos.

Now if I may just have

some watermelon rinds,

wax paper and fish

heads, I'll get to work.

Wouldn't you prefer a cocktail?

Oh, no, I need them for mulching.

If I may just have

a spading fork and trowel.

Watakushi wa anata u suki desu

o tomodashi ni narimashou, Roy-san.

- You speak Japanese?

- I can say, "I love you, let us be friends."

I can say it in fifty-four

different languages,

and I'm working on African dialects.

I'm sure that's going

to come in very handy.

Well, according to Grandpa, we should

learn to like everybody in the world.

Well, I must say, you go about it

in a... a very unusual way.

Oh, this is an interesting house.

It's an decayed kind of architecture

and thoroughly impractical.

If you'll just tear out that whole side

and put in a window,

you'll bring the outside in.

When I had this house built I told

the architect to keep the outside out.

- Oh, you have screens.

- Doesn't everybody?

Oh, no, it stops the air circulating.

My sister Madea believes

that flies and moths

stir up the air and it's

unnatural to keep them out.

And you really should get rid

of those rugs... they're wool.

Wool's from sheep...

that's animal matter.

My sister Aphrodite says it's very

unhealthy to have in the house.

- Will these do, Miss.

- Oh! Perfectly.

You will excuse me, won't you?

I'm so happy to have met you.

- You have such a lovely figure.

- Why, thank you.

- But you really shouldn't wear a girdle.

- It's not a girdle, it's a foundation garment.

Your spine doesn't know the difference,

it's all pinched in.

Sooner or later you're going

to have trouble with a loose disk.

You seem to have trouble

with a loose tongue.

Oh, I am sorry, I always say

things I think and I shouldn't.

- Forgive me?

- I may say I will, but I won't.

Roy, what did she say in Japanese?

I love you, let us be friends.

Funny thing, Mr. Shaw...

she speaks Japanese with a Spanish accent.

I think I'd better have another drink.

How about you?

Thank you, I've got to dash.

Now remember, pick me up at eight.

Life is fun if you vocalize,

Full of sun if you vocalize,

Re Do Ti Do,

It's my credo.

Lift your voice to the highest skies,

You'll rejoice in the exercise,

Re Do Ti Do,

Sing fortissimo.

La-la-la la-la-la,

Warm up just like the birds,

La-la-la la-la-la,

You don't need any words.

Try a scale in the key of C,

It's as easy as it can be,

Re Do Ti Me,

Why not get wise and vocalize?

Be you tenor or baritone,

or not even aware of tone,

or if you're stone tone deaf

in the bass or the treble clef,

I advise you.

Get wise you!

Vocalize!

- Well, I've mulched.

- Oh, splendid, I... I'll...

May I kiss you?

Grandma was right.

Hey! Watch it!

You'll get killed!

- Not today, not possibly.

- I'm glad to hear it.

You're much to pretty to get scratched up.

Won't do you any good to talk like that.

Too late, I'm gonna marry Adam Shaw.

The Old Johnny Nyle Luck...

late again.

- Johnny Nyle?

- Um-huh.

- When were you born.

- July 18.

- Minerva.

- No, Pittsburg.

No, I mean my sister Minerva.

I have six sisters and

you'll like them all, but...

- it's Minerva, all right.

- Are they anything like you?

- Oh, I'm the Ugly Ducking.

- That's good enough for me.

- When do I meet your sister?

- Well, I'm going to see her right now.

You're right smack in Minerva's orbit,

I told her about you.

You can do better than that.

Pop these in the mailbox, hop in

the car, and we can both tell her about me.

Oh, Aphrodite, would you get me a bottle,

I have Grandpa's sassafras juice.

- Hi, Mrs. Smith.

- Hello, Athena.

Well, that's everything,

Mrs. Smith. Yogurt,

black strap molasses, spinach

juice and shredded parsnips.

Oh, Mrs. Smith, how do you fix those?

We make a souffl with horseradish tops

and coconut milk... the kids just love it.

Oh, it sounds delicious.

- Here you are.

- Bye, Girls.

- Bye.

- ... to Grandpa and Grandma.

- Hello, may I help you?

- Is this the one?

Yeah, that's the one.

Minerva this is Johnny Nyle,

- Hi.

- Are you the Johnny Nyle who's on television?

That's right, but I'm much nicer in person.

You ought to be ashamed of

yourself selling beer.

Grandpa says drinking alcohol

is like swallowing a dead toad.

Well... well, that was last month,

I don't work for them anymore.

Oh, well, I'm certainly glad to hear that.

This week's show is for

Webson's Meat Products.

- Cannibal!

- Well, I don't eat their stuff.

Don't apologize, just remember money

you get that way will do you no good.

- Are you sure this is the one?

- Minerva, you're not being fair.

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