Attacked on Set Page #2

we're gonna have some problems.

Come on!

No! No!

Get off!

Somebody call me the cops!

That won't be necessary.

We are live with a breaking story.

A local developer is trying to cut down

the tree which is home to the last

living passenger parrot.

The site will be used as the future home

for a statue of our great leader of the United States.

We'll be covering this story for as long

as it takes.

Back to you studio.

You hang in there buddy.

Keep fighting the good fight.

music

Yeah, I think you got all of it in there buddy.

The generator's out of gas

but the gas can's empty so

what do you want me to do?

Do I look like a f***ing mechanic?

I'm f***ing talent.

I don't play with gas.

Why don't you siphon it out of the van?

You guys are f***ing idiots around here.

Can you please leave?

I can see you in my reflection.

I read the script you know.

I didn't know they had a picture book version.

Well...

I know about the sex scene you have with

my boyfriend.

So what?

He's only doing it because he has to.

it's not like he wants to.

Oh yeah?

Well, I've been fantasizing about it all week.

I can't wait to post all the juicy

details on the internet

pictures and everything.

He's going to love doing this scene with me.

He couldn't enjoy it even if he wants to.

I'm gonna be on set and see the whole thing.

Oh yeah?

Watch this.

Can I talk to you for a minute?

Yeah sure.

What's up?

I'm a little nervous about doing the sex scene.

Can you make sure that no one extra is on set?

Just crew only.

Yeah no problem.

Thanks sweetie!

You're welcome.

You know.

I'm crazy enough to f***ing hurt you!

Listen up!

Everyone needs to go outside.

I've got some business to take care of.

NOW!

You too sugar c*nt.

What are you doing here?

I'm in charge of building the sets.

How about you?

I'm with him.

You wanna hit?

Sure.

Thanks.

She's a total b*tch.

I know why do you hate her?

She called me a whore.

I'm not a whore.

I'm a high-priced call girl.

There's a f***ing difference.

What have you got?

I got the newest version of the script here.

It just needs a final scene reworked.

Keep working on it!

What do you got?

Is it any good?

Hey, now you're offending me man.

This is the best sh*t on the streets right now.

This right here.

Four times as potent as last week.

Open it up.

Stick your finger right in there.

Hey!

Has anyone seen anything...

suspicious?

What do you mean by suspicious?

Someone's been going around town

chopping people up!

How much are we talking here?

Another hundred grand.

I already loaned you $100,000 for this movie

and then you told me you won't even need all of it.

There's been some unexpected costs

that made it go over budget.

Unexpected costs like what?

Cocaine and hookers?

Here's $20,000.

If you don't finish this f***ing movie

I'll personally rip your cock off

and then throw it in the freeway myself!

Do i make myself clear?

Yes.

You can pass the word along to you stupid

director friend too.

What the f*** are you doing here?

You two know each other?

Oh Yeah.

This is one of my b*tches.

I'm sorry.

Is she for you?

Please tell me

that you're not paying my b*tches

with the money I'm loaning you.

I'm getting paid with my own f***ing money.

aint that some sh*t!

Well, just to let you know.

The cops are here.

Not for the drugs.

Someone's going around killing people.

Noise:
"girl screams"

What is it baby?

Go look for yourself.

Is it real?

Oh, it's real alright.

Of course it's real!

Look at the sweeping secondhand.

Not the watch!

The severed arm it's attached to!

We've been finding

body parts scattered all over town.

This is the second one today.

We could've used that arm as a prop.

We could use that watch as a down payment.

Listen up everyone!

Someone

or something's

been going around town

killing people.

Stay inside

and keep the doors locked.

If you need to make a phone call, do it now.

The cell tower is going to be out for the next six hours.

maintenance.

It's too late.

They're already dead.

What no cellphone reception?

Looks like you won't be able to post those

sex updates after all.

Tramp!

Slut!

Oh, you can keep doing your bickering

but do it inside.

Keep the doors locked

and if you see anything suspicious

let me know.

Check this out down here.

Prime it six times.

Yeah. Pull choke.

What do you think you're doing?

He was showing me his chainsaw.

It's the best on the market.

Damn straight.

Here's your chainsaw.

No!

No!

Don't you die on me!

NO!

NO!

This just in.

The passenger parrot is dead.

I repeat. The passenger parrot is dead.

This bird was keeping you from

developing your land now that the

species is no longer around

what are your thoughts?

Screw the bird!

I'm just glad I can get back to work.

There you have it folks.

Capitalism at its best.

I was only playing.

He tried to grope me on the last movie we worked on too.

You were wearing a dress.

What did you expect?

Listen! Either he leaves or I do!

It's up to you.

i'm sorry.

You're gonna have to leave.

I can't lose my leading actress

I got dropped off.

I'm gonna need a ride back to town.

Give him a ride back to town.

Put some gas in it too.

It won't start.

What do you mean it won't start?

I don't know. It must be out of gas.

It's no problem.

I'll just

Walk up the road and call a friend.

You're the one that invited him.

Yeah. Well, your pimp is my dealer

and main investor.

You told him i was paying you.

So what!

Deal with it!

He loaned me the money I paid you with.

He's not too happy.

That sounds like

you're losers problems.

Not mine.

Losers?

Why don't you get the f*** out of here!

Writer's going into town.

Why don't you get a ride with him.

Maybe you can make a quick buck while you're at it.

F*** you.

What the f***?!

Hey!

Who's in here?

Hello.

Listen.

Are you alone?

Yeah.

What did I say?

I said walk in packs.

Stay in a group.

It's not safe out there!

There's someone killing people.

And chopping them up.

And he will do the same to you.

Yeah, well

tell that to the guy that left me alone.

You show me where he is

and i will show him the law!

What happened to your arm?

Oh!

Nothing

my

my little puppy...

He's got a

bit of a temper on him.

I forgot to give him his medication.

Are you making a call?

It's not gonna happen.

Sorry honey.

Cell towers out for the next three hours

If you would've listened

you would have known that,

Well.

I need a ride back into town

Well.

Did you know I'm a police officer?

I have a job to do.

I have to make my rounds

and if I see your pretty little face

don't worry honey

I'll pick you up.

Sure. Thanks.

No problem.

Be careful out there.

He never shares his drugs with you?

Why not?

OMG:

Oh thanks baby.

What's going on in here!?

You gettin' my girl high?

Yeah!

Come on b*tch!

This bum is trouble.

I can't believe you'd hook up with that bum.

He gave you coke didn't he?

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