Auntie Mame Page #6

"How to Ride a Horse."

It says, "Always get on the horse

from the left side."

- My left side or the horse's left side?

- It doesn't say. Listen to this.

"Whenever approaching

a strange mount...

...fix the animal in the eye

with a masterful gaze.

Remain calm, for a horse has

a highly developed sense of smell...

...and can react dangerously

when he smells fear."

I hope he likes Chanel No. 5.

I didn't know this.

"Horses aren't native to America."

Read me something useful.

I'm about to go over the top.

Clearing fences.

It says you should always lean.

Jumping water hazards.

"Don't lean. Sit erect."

Don't lean. Sit erect.

Say your prayers.

Be good to Norah and lto

after I'm gone.

I think Sally left a foot in this one.

- Let me help you.

- No, darling. It's no use.

Why are you going through all this?

If I can snag you an Uncle Beau,

all our problems will be solved.

Besides, there's another minor,

relatively unimportant thing:

I happen to be in love with him.

I like Beau. I like him a lot.

Then it's all settled!

Not so fast,

he hasn't asked me anything yet.

- You dressed yet, Mame, honey?

- Come in, Beau, darling.

- Oh, my, how handsome you look!

- Well, likewise, Mame.

Hold it steady,

I want to get a picture of this.

That's it. Now, give me

a nice pose, Mame, darling.

And big smile! That's a girl.

There we are. You have now

been immortalized in celluloid.

Patrick.

You must have left it in my room.

I'll find it.

Mame...

Thank you.

I've got something to say. I'll have

to say it fast or not say it at all.

Talk slow then, Beau, darling.

I can listen fast.

Well, Mame, you and I don't

exactly come from the same world.

Not that I think I'm worth...

There comes a time in every life...

Mame, I'm just gonna have

to come right out and say it.

Well, I'm gonna ask you to...

Mame, would you...?

- I mean, could you...?

- Mame! Mame, darling!

It's me, Sally Cato!

I wanted to see if there was anything...

Oh, hello, Beau.

Was I interrupting?

There's the signal, darling!

Come on, let's hurry.

- Well, shall we to the hounds?

- Yeah, I'd love to meet your family.

- We almost thought you wasn't coming.

- Morning. Lovely day for a hunt.

Sugar, you look absolutely dreamy.

Say, boys, you can bring

Miss Dennis' horse around now!

Well, what a break.

Glorious weather for the hunt.

I thought it might rain,

we'd call it off.

Well, where are we riding to?

Outside of the hounds, of course.

It's a good 10-mile course,

for those that makes it.

- I can try.

- This way, Auntie Mame.

- Morning, Miss Dennis.

- Morning.

Well, has he?

Not yet. So I die an old maid

sometime before lunch.

No, you won't. You look convincing,

like a magazine cover.

Horror Stories.

- What's in there?

- That's the horse I picked out for you.

- What's his name?

- Meditation.

I'll trip you. You'd only break a leg.

I can't disgrace Beau,

not in front of all these people.

Fix the animal in the eye

with a masterful gaze.

Fix the master in the eye

with an animal gaze.

Fix the aster in the maze

with an animal guy.

You look fit. They're bringing

the fox up from the icehouse.

Come on, let's go, everybody!

Goodbye, Yankee gal!

- Where does she think she's going?

- Look at him go!

- Fall off! Fall off!

- Look out for that flood wall!

- Auntie Mame, fall off! Fall off!

- Look out! Look out!

Danged if she didn't sail

clear over it! No hands!

Look at her! She's passing everybody!

She's passing the master

of the hounds! Very bad form.

She's passing the dogs!

Mother of Jefferson Davis,

she's passing the fox!

Ms. Burnside! I was driving by.

I thought I saw...

- That couldn't be Meditation!

- Yes, fine bit of horseflesh.

He's a killer! I gotta stop this!

They're headed back this way!

Stay out of the flowerbed!

Get that horse out of my bougainvillea!

She's heading for the icehouse!

That's my car! That's county property!

Mame!

- Mame, where are you?

- She come this way.

There you are!

Darling, are you all right?

If I hadn't grabbed on to this,

I'd have been in Nova Scotia!

- What happened to the fox?

- Poor thing is all tuckered out.

Oh, my little love!

As county veterinarian, I commanded you

two years ago to destroy that horse!

Letting her ride this horse,

superb horsewoman that she is...

...that was premeditated murder!

Let's have three cheers, everybody,

for my little Yankee!

What a seat that woman has!

What a magnificent seat!

Look here, everybody,

I want three cheers...

...for the future Mrs. Beauregard

Jackson Pickett Burnside!

- Hip, hip...

- Hooray!

- Hip, hip...

- Hooray!

Emory, come on home!

Hot damn!

My sister's gonna bust a gut!

What are y'all standing around for?

Come back to the house.

We'll have a glass of whiskey.

- Oh, Beau!

- Come on, Mame, darling.

Here we are. Take it easy, now.

Mame, I'm sorry about making

my proposal so public...

...but I'm gonna do everything I can

to make you happy.

Of course, you'll have to educate me.

Make me more cosmopolitan.

For a honeymoon, let's take a trip

around the world for a few years.

Oh, Beau! That's...

- Darling, excuse me a minute.

- Sure.

- My little love.

- Congratulations, Auntie Mame.

Your Auntie Mame's in love

and very happy.

I won't see you for a long time.

Patrick, nothing can ever

really separate us.

You'll join us on all your vacations.

The rest of the time,

you'll be busy at school.

I'll just have two men instead of one.

And I'll write to you every day,

I promise.

You don't think I'd run off and

abandon you to the Babcocks, do you?

You're stuck with me

whether you like it or not.

Now let me see you smile.

I want to see it.

Where is it? That's my boy!

Can I ask you just one question?

How did you stay on that horse?

It's like New Haven with the bracelet.

I got stuck, but at the other end.

"Dear Auntie Mame: I plan to spend this

holiday with Mr. Babcock in Darien."

- Hold it right there, darling.

- Now, no higher, Beau.

"Junior Babcock

and I have fun there...

...and I have met the kids from all

the best families in Connecticut."

Oh, dear.

I have a feeling we should be

getting back. Patrick needs me.

- That last one was the best one yet.

- Good, darling.

- Now, did you put film in this time?

- I sure did.

- Oh, dang!

- Up, up, Rover! Up, up!

- Mrs. Burnside.

- Mr. Babcock.

- So good to see you again.

- Thank you. Nice to see you.

Darling!

- Congratulations.

- Thank you.

Mame! Up here, Mame, honey!

That's it. Give me a nice smile.

I gotcha.

Mame, honey. Look up here.

Come, Patrick. Do be careful, darling.

Now, give me a nice smile.

Patrick, take off your hat.

Now, give me a nice smile.

That's it.

I got it.

- Dennis?

- Hey, Dennis!

- Sign here.

- It's another one for you! Dennis!

Siam this time.

Thanks.

Siam. "Dear Patrick:

Here's a handy woman to have

around the house. Love, Auntie Mame."

Here we are, darling.

You all right?

Next time, let's take the elevator.

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