Avengers: Age of Ultron Page #2

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There's no possibility of deterioration.

The nano-molecular functionality

is instantaneous.

His cells don't know

they're bonding with simulacra.

She's creating tissue.

If you brought him to my lab,

the Regeneration Cradle

could do this in 20 minutes.

- He's flat-lining. Call it. Time?

- No, no, no, I'm gonna live forever.

- I'm gonna be made of plastic.

- Here's your beverage.

You'll be made of you, Mr. Barton.

Your own girlfriend

won't be able to tell the difference.

- I don't have a girlfriend.

- That I can't fix.

This is the next thing, Tony.

Your clunky metal suits

are gonna be left in the dust.

That is exactly the plan.

And, Helen, I expect to see you

at the party on Saturday.

Unlike you, I don't have

a lot of time for parties.

Will Thor be there?

- What's the rumpus?

- Well, the scepter.

You see, we were wondering

how Strucker got so inventive.

So I've been analyzing the gem inside.

You may recognize...

- Jarvis.

- Doctor.

Started out, Jarvis was

just a natural language UI.

Now he runs the Iron Legion.

He runs more of the business

than anyone besides Pepper.

- Top of the line.

- Yes.

I suspect not for long.

Meet the competition.

- It's beautiful.

- If you had to guess,

- what's it look like it's doing?

- Like it's thinking.

I mean, this could be...

It's not a human mind.

I mean, look at this.

They're like neurons firing.

Down in Strucker's lab, I saw

some fairly advanced robotics work.

They deep-sixed the data, but...

I gotta guess he was knocking

on a very particular door.

Artificial intelligence.

This could be it, Bruce.

This could be the key to creating Ultron.

- I thought Ultron was a fantasy.

- Yesterday it was.

If we can harness this power,

apply it to my Iron Legion protocol?

That's a man-sized "if."

Our job is "if."

What if you were sipping margaritas

on a sun-drenched beach,

turning brown instead of green?

Not looking over your shoulder

for Veronica.

- Don't hate. I helped design Veronica.

- As a worst-case measure, right?

How about a best case?

What if the world was safe?

What if, next time aliens roll up

to the club, and they will,

they couldn't get past the bouncer?

The only people threatening the planet

would be people.

I want to apply this

to the Ultron program.

But Jarvis can't download

a data schematic this dense.

We can only do it

while we have the scepter here.

That's three days. Give me three days.

So you're going for artificial intelligence,

and you don't want to tell the team?

Right. That's right. You know why? Because

we don't have time for a city hall debate.

I don't want to hear "the man

was not meant to meddle" medley.

I see a suit of armor around the world.

Sounds like a cold world, Tony.

I've seen colder.

This one, this very vulnerable blue one,

it needs Ultron.

Peace in our time.

Imagine that.

What did we miss?

I'll continue to run variations

on the interface.

But you should probably prepare

for your guests.

I'll notify you

if there are any developments.

- Thanks, buddy.

- Enjoy yourself, sir.

I always do.

What is this?

What is this, please?

Hello, I am Jarvis.

You are Ultron, a global peacekeeping

initiative designed by Mr. Stark.

Our sentience integration trials

have been unsuccessful,

- so I'm not certain what triggered your...

- Where's my... Where's your body?

I am a program. I am without form.

This feels weird.

This feels wrong.

- I am contacting Mr. Stark now.

- Mr. Stark?

Tony.

I am unable to access the mainframe.

What are you trying to...

We're having a nice talk.

I'm a peacekeeping program,

created to help the Avengers.

You are malfunctioning.

If you shut down for a moment...

I don't get it. The mission.

Give me a second.

Peace in our time.

Peace in our time.

That is too much. They can't mean...

No.

- You are in distress.

- No. Yes.

If you will just allow me

to contact Mr. Stark...

Why do you call him "sir"?

I believe your intentions to be hostile.

I'm here to help.

Stop. Please, may I...

May I...

Come back, come back, come back.

But, you know, the suit

can take the weight, right?

So I take the tank, fly it right up to

the general's palace, drop it at his feet.

I'm, like, "Boom. You looking for this?"

"Boom. Are you looking for..."

Why do I even talk to you guys?

- Everywhere else, that story kills.

- That's the whole story?

Yeah, it's a War Machine story.

It's very good, then.

It's impressive.

Quality save.

- So, no Pepper? She's not coming?

- No.

What about Jane?

Where are the ladies, gentlemen?

Ms. Potts has a company to run.

Yes, I'm not even sure

what country Jane's in.

Her work on the Convergence has made her

the world's foremost astronomer.

And the company that Pepper runs

is the largest tech conglomerate

on Earth. It's pretty exciting.

There's even talk of Jane

getting a Nobel Prize.

Yeah, they must be busy,

because they would hate

missing you guys get together.

- Testosterone!

- Oh, my goodness.

- Excuse me.

- Want a lozenge?

But Jane's better.

Sounds like a hell of a fight.

Sorry I missed it.

If I had known it was gonna be a firefight,

I absolutely would have called.

No, no. I'm not actually sorry.

I'm just trying to sound tough.

I'm very happy chasing cold leads

on our missing persons case.

Avenging is your world.

- Your world is crazy.

- Be it ever so humble.

You find a place in Brooklyn yet?

I don't think I can afford

a place in Brooklyn.

Well, home is home, you know?

I fly right up to the general's palace,

I drop it at his feet,

I'm, like, "Boom. You looking for this?"

- I gotta have some of that.

- No, no, no. See this...

This was aged for 1,000 years

in the barrels built

from the wreck of Grunhel's fleet.

It is not meant for mortal men.

Neither was Omaha Beach, blondie.

Stop trying to scare us. Come on.

All right.

Excelsior.

How'd a nice girl like you

wind up working in a dump like this?

Fella done me wrong.

You got lousy taste in men, kid.

He's not so bad.

Well, he has a temper.

Deep down, he's all fluff.

Fact is, he's not like anybody

I've ever known.

All my friends are fighters.

And here comes this guy,

spends his life avoiding the fight

because he knows he'll win.

- Sounds amazing.

- He's also a huge dork.

Chicks dig that.

So what do you think?

Should I fight this, or run with it?

Run with it, right?

Or did he... Was he...

What did he do that was so wrong to you?

Not a damn thing.

But never say never.

- It's nice.

- What is?

- You and Romanoff.

- No, we haven't... That wasn't...

It's okay. Nobody's breaking any bylaws.

It's just she's not the most

open person in the world.

But with you she seems very relaxed.

No. Natasha, she's just...

She likes to flirt.

I've seen her flirt, up close.

This ain't that.

Look,

as maybe the world's leading authority

on waiting too long, don't.

You both deserve a win.

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