Avenging Angelo Page #3

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is not my father. Do you understand?

l..

..have a real-life father

who lives five miles from here.

Wait!

Stop!

- Could you just wait a minute?

- Stop!

l'm not gonna stop you,

but slow down for a minute!

l just wanna talk to you

for a second. Ma'am.

Look, if you need

someone to drive you....

Last night did not happen.

All right?

So when l come back,

you will be long gone.

Thank you for breakfast.

lt was lovely meeting you.

Where are you going?

Where are you going?

Therapy!

Come on.

You don't need therapy.

Oh, yeah.

Shopping.

Are you okay?

May l help you?

- And your name would be?

- Allison. Enchanting.

Allison, may l see everything

you have in Ensada in a size 7?

- Everything? - l wanna melt

this mother to the ground.

Cassidy, we have a no-limit on our

hands. l'm going to need backup.

Oh, thank you. Thank you.

l'll take them all.

My God!

Oh, my God!

lt's all right.

lt's all over. All over.

Oh, God! Oh, God! A hit?

That's what that was, right? A hit?

- Yes, ma'am, it was. - Oh, God!

Who would want to kill me?

l'd say Lucio Malatesta

would be at the top of my list.

List? What list?

People are lining up

wanting to kill me? What am l?

A Thanksgiving turkey

and people are placing orders?

- Let me drive this car, ma'am.

- No, l will drive my own car.

l know it's yours,..

..but l think l'm in a little

better mood than you are.

- l am perfectly capable of driving.

- l know you are.

You're probably a very good driver,

but l think now l'm the one..

..who should be driving the car.

Maybe it's my fault, ma'am.

Maybe they followed me

and l led 'em to you.

Great! Just great. Until l met you,

l was perfectly capable..

..of shopping for shoes

without someone trying to kill me!

What is that cologne

you're wearing?!

ls it Brut?

Oh, don't tell me it's Brut!

You know, ma'am, could we be just

quiet for a coupla seconds, please?

- Well, l am on edge, you know!

- Well, l understand,..

..but l'm really gettin'

a terrible headache.

Oh, pardon me all over the place.

Five seconds ago..

..l almost didn't even have a head!

And what's with this?

This?! Don't shrug! Speak!

Ma'am, what you're doing is you're

having this panic attack syndrome..

..and that often happens

after a hit. Really.

You know all about those things,

you're a hit man, right?

ls that what you are? No,

actually, a hit man takes a life.

l'm a bodyguard,

and a bodyguard protects it.

So you were my father's

bodyguard, and he got waxed.

And so now you're my bodyguard?

Thatjust fills me with confidence.

Boy, am l getting

a major league friggin' migraine!

Do you have any idea

how powerful my father is?

He is a very successful

New York businessman..

..who will make your life

a living hell!

lt's gettin' there.

Ma'am please, l'm sorry.

You don't have to do that.

l want to see my father, now.

- Your father was Angelo.

- Take me to my father's house now!

Mother?

ln here, dear.

My God, did you hear

what happened at the mall?

- There was a shootout! Just

think of it! - l have. Really.

l need to talk to you

and daddy immediately.

l think l just heard

your father return from his..

..racquetball lesson. - When did

daddy start playing racquetball?

Your father's having an affair.

At the club.

With the racquetball instructor.

How old is she?

Well, the she is a he.

Jen-Jen?

ls that you?

Daddy?

Jen-Jen!

Hello, loved one.

My, my.

Someone is looking fabulous!

Daddy,

don't take this in a bad way,..

..but have you switched..

..affiliations?

- Oh!

This doesn't change

anything between us.

After all,

l'm still your father.

l'm feeling better than ever,

thank you.

He's gotten me into great shape,

don't you think?

There is something completely

irrational about all men.

No kiddin'.

So what'd they say?

Exactly what l expected, thank you.

They say that they are indeed..

..my parents and that you,

Mr. Mafia Pants, are full of it.

So there. The emotional extortion

doesn't go past here.

- Furthermore, when my attorn --

- Excuse me. Tell me something, ma'am.

ls there a place where people go

to learn how to behave like this?

Talking all the time in a manner

designed to, like,..

..induce a migraine in a rock?

- l will not be talked to like this.

Don't you understand

this is not the real you?

- This is too, me.

- Really?

Do you know what is you?

Don't kill my parents!

They're not your parents.

Please, promise me

you won't wax them.

For the record,

it's not wax.

lt's whack.

How you doin', Whitney?

- Very well, Frankie. And you?

- Been better.

Yeah, l hear.

You look good, Whitney.

Are you takin' care of yourself?

You always did notice

the details, Frankie.

Wait.

You two weren't lovers.

Whitney,..

..it's time. Come on.

Do it.

Come on. Come on.

Simply put,

when Angelo brought you to us,..

..you were

the most beautiful baby girl.

You took my finger

and sat right on my lap.

You kept saying

the only word you knew.

''Pretty''.

''Pretty'' over and over.

Of course we took you.

We would've taken you without

the money, although the money..

..has been endlessly spectacular.

l've really given you nothing,

Jen-Jen. Nothing except my old,..

..ridiculous heart.

Daddy.

Mom, the food's better

than what we have at home.

Well, l guess it's better

than my cooking, right?

l never really

was too much of a cook.

No! No.

That's good.

lt's great! Really, it is.

Yeah, but, you know, sweetheart,

what l really need to talk..

..to you about is, genetics.

You know, the way things get passed

down through families?

Like,

it seems your grandfather.

Well, at least, l still

think he's your grandfather.

Uh, no.

l guess what l'm tryin' to say,

darling, is..

..how are things in the showers?

Okay, the Frankie cooking show

brought to you by Beretta.

- Are you crazy?

- A little.

Nothing. Nothing, darling,

it's just some thunder.

Mom, l gotta go, okay?

Okay.

Bye, darling. l love you.

So how's your boy?

He couldn't be happier.

l couldn't be lonelier.

You wrecked my kitchen.

- Oh, l'm sorry about the bullet.

Really. - No, l mean this.

Oh, this. This is what happens

when you cook a lot.

Really?

- You know, l'm sure your kid

really misses you. - No.

He really doesn't.

l mean, why should he?

He's got a father

who treats him like a dog and..

..a mother who's never had

a clue what to do with her life.

So, tell me the truth.

Somebody else did all this,

right? You're just faking it.

No. No, no, no.

l love cooking,

and l'll tell you what.

Just promise me you'll eat it

before it gets cold.

Sure.

So Frankie,

what's your nickname?

You know, your nickname.

All you mob guys have one, right?

Like, Louie the Lump,

Charlie Fat Lips,..

..Frankie the Food Freak.

lt's just Frankie, ma'am.

- What's Frankie short for?

- l don't know. What's that..

..got to do with anything?

- l just want to know.

ls it Francis?

You know, you got more important

things to think about, ma'am.

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