Awakening: The World Dreamt and Imagined by Otto Mäkilä Page #4

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- You tell me.

Why? Is it guilt?

Preaching to me while

you rip your leg to shreds

as if that'll make you feel better

for having survived!

You don't know what

you're talking about.

Robert.

I'm frightened.

And I can't live with that.

And yes, you're right,

what I do comes at a price.

I hate myself more and more,

but I can't live with fear.

I'd sooner be dead myself.

Red four goes on the black five.

Every card has its place.

When they're back where they should be,

you win the game.

And that goes there.

That one there.

Black eight can go on red nine.

It takes time.

That's why they call it "patience".

She's downstairs.

- Mowa-Zee.

- Tom. Tom!

Tom!

I know it's you, Tom.

I won't chase you.

Keep playing.

Florence.

Why are you doing this? You!

I heard you giggle.

- I heard him giggle.

- Florence!

You took me to a man.

Who was he? Who was he?

There was a... There was a man!

There was... There was a man!

Stop this!

It's... It's all of you!

You're all doing this!

You, you...

You cruel and horrid little boy.

Florence!

I hate you.

Thomas Hill, you will come back here

at once and apologise.

Stop bossing me around.

I haven't done anything wrong.

I don't recognise you.

I thought you were a kind,

loving girl but there's...

There's nothing left.

You're a shell.

She's very troubled.

You have to understand that.

She likes you very, very much.

She doesn't care about me.

I may as well be dead like Walter.

I hate her.

Robert, I need your help.

He had a shotgun, and he was there,

and one of these will prove it.

I can leave an amber light on,

but are you...

I'll be fine.

If you could just lift them.

That's good.

The dark used to bother me.

Later, of course, it came to mean

safety, no sniper fire, or...

- Thank you.

-...shells, but

as a lad I'd huddle into my bed,

wanting to see what was there

but too frightened to open my eyes.

Thank you.

It's never darker than when we close

our eyes and yet we keep them shut.

Why is that?

Thank you.

The motion's not blurred,

so even if he's moving

one of these will have him clearly.

Why do you keep

your eyes closed, Florence?

Where is he?

Oh, God.

No.

You're real.

I am.

Why are these things here?

What do they want with me?

Maybe they aren't here for you.

Tom, stay here. Do not leave this room.

No! No! No!

Open the door.

Have you left this room?

Something's happened to Florence.

- Promise me you'll stay here.

- All right.

Tom!

I promise.

Maud! Florence!

I saw you.

I saw you with him.

The war hero.

I don't know what you...

I've seen plenty through these windows

making my rounds, but never that.

Women. Just lap up

the sob stories, don't you?

They were sent, you know.

They didn't sign up.

Suddenly they're heroes.

How dare you!

You did nothing,

and you think you can mock men like him?

You take care of what you're saying.

You did... You did nothing

when men gave every...

No!

Robert! Robert!

Whatever happened?

What's happened, Florence?

- Florence, what is it? My darling girl!

- Florence!

Judd attacked me.

He tried to... He tried to...

I think I killed him.

- I think I killed him.

- Maud, get a blanket.

And run a bath. Now, please.

Where? Where's Judd?

By the trees at the end of the driveway.

No, go inside. Get to Maud

and stay there. You hear?

Robert. Robert, don't tell Tom.

Tom?

Little Tom. He's frightened enough.

He's the only child here.

Florence, there are no children here.

It's just us three!

What?

Mowa-Zee.

Mowa-Zee.

Mowa-Zee.

Mowa-Zee.

I didn't mean to

scare Walter that night.

I know.

I believe you.

You can control that?

Sometimes I can.

But I don't know why he could see me.

No one sees me.

I can't make them.

We see what we need to.

He needed a friend.

So did I.

But you were frightened. When you

heard the music from that rabbit doll

you said someone was going to get you.

- Who were you frightened of?

- I can't tell you.

Please. Tell me, please.

You have to see for yourself.

It's the only way we can be together.

Again.

What?

Promise you won't go away again.

Mousie.

Mow-zee?

Look at the doll's house. Look at it.

- No.

- You started to remember,

- I know you did.

- No.

Look at it. You'll remember the rest.

- Look at it.

- I don't want to look.

You started to remember, I know you did.

Look at the house.

- I don't want to look! Get away from me!

- Look at the house.

Mousie.

You started to remember!

You started!

You started to remember!

I know you did!

But you go on and on!

I don't even wanna look at you!

I can't live like this!

Look at it.

You'll remember the rest.

You don't know! You scheme

and you laugh at me and plot!

No one is plotting.

It's just that we can't care any more.

You make it impossible to care.

You don't speak for days.

You don't speak to me.

You won't even look at her.

Be quiet. You will be quiet,

or so help me!

Your own child?

You despise her.

- You're a monster!

- She's not a boy!

She's bright,

and she's sweet, and she's...

- Give me a son! Stay here!

- You have one!

How do you think that makes me feel

watching your bastard boy

running around with... Your bastard boy

running around with Florence!

Leave Tom out of this!

...making us pay because you...

Mummy! Mummy!

Stay back, Florence.

You can't help Mummy now.

Move out of the way!

You can't help Mummy now.

Move out of the way!

You can't help Mummy now.

Move out of the way!

I need you to move out of the way.

Please, Daddy.

Mousie, Mousie, run! Run!

Think I don't know

your little hiding places?

Know where my little mouse

hides herself for hours on end?

Little Mousie.

Little Mousie.

I really am sorry, Little Mousie.

I will find you, darling.

You have to go with Mummy now.

Mousie.

Mousie.

Little Mousie.

You never said school.

From the moment you arrived,

you called this place a house.

You, nanny.

Tom's mother.

I thought bringing you here

would be enough.

But you didn't remember me,

let alone the terrible things.

I knew your little mind had

blacked it all out.

But one thing kept me certain.

You saw him.

You saw my...

My

darling

murdered child,

who's lived here all these years

with friends he could never have.

I was his friend.

We shared everything.

A father,

everything.

But you needed to see.

That's why I sent Tom

to frighten you those times.

To make you stay.

Because I know what's best for you.

I always did.

Because I raised you.

I wet-nursed you.

I watched you

taken away,

adopted.

You were ripped from me

like my boy had been.

I never asked anything of the world.

And it's a perfect hell on earth

to give a woman children to love

and to rob her of them.

Little Tom.

Little Tom.

I'd forgotten everything.

Well, perhaps not everything.

"Eaten by lions."

Well, all memories are

a hoax of some sort.

You can't blame anyone

for letting you believe that one.

Mmm.

You needn't worry.

No one will find Judd's body.

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