Awaydays Page #2

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- I'll get it for you.

- Behave! It's a fiver.

- What's a flim between hombres?

So we go in the Masquerade. Eugene

is snogging Heidi, and who walks in?

- No!

- I coulda died.

- Excuse me.

- I'm like, "Swallow me up."

- Hideous.

- Excuse me.

Hideous, sweetcakes? I'm like, "Am I

seriously witnessing this car crash?"

Hey, Bela Lugosi. Are we gonna get

some service here or what?

Ask nicely.

Ooh, the Bowie bootleg.

Aren't you the subversive one?

5.50. Just call it a fiver.

- Thank you muchly.

- F***ing hell, Carty la!

- I didn't think you had it in you.

- Well, you don't know me, do you?

Welcome to Hades.

So this is chez Elvis, eh?

Cool gaff, la.

We aim to please.

F***'s that?

It's an everyday reminder

of the absurdity of life.

And the absolute certainty of death.

- F***ing hell. What are these?

- Forest Hills.

Where did you get 'em?

Curiosity killed the cat, Cartypants.

- Never even seen these in the shop.

- You wouldn't.

- How much, like?

- Not for sale, la.

- Come on, EI.

- Haven't got your size.

- How do you know?

- I just know.

Now, skin up.

Don't exactly fancy getting stoned.

What he really meant

was he couldn't swim.

Don't talk soft.

Some of us have got work tomorrow.

Ah, Carty,

you don't know the half of it, you.

Don't know what you mean, mate.

You, my handsome friend,

have got it all, haven't you?

- You have choices.

- Right, let me guess.

You, the poor underprivileged council

estate wastrel, you're f***ed.

- In one, Lucky Jim.

- Bullshit.

You may not know it yet,

but it is how it is.

Is it? Still can't go to the game with

you and the Pack. No choices there.

Oh, mate, just leave it out, yeah?

Take it from one who knows.

You do not belong there.

Right. And that mong in the parka,

he's not even from round here.

- Robbie?

- Yeah, him.

He may be a bit of a subby,

Robbie, but he's our subby.

D'you know? He belongs.

Right, ta. Now I know.

- Really means that much to you?

- Yeah.

Of all the good and wondrous things

we could do together,

you'd rather go fighting with a bunch

of knobheads from the Woody?

More than you could ever imagine.

- OK, then.

- You'll take me?

Birkenhead North.

Twelve bells. Saturday.

- Saturday?

- Er... yeah, Saturday, like.

It's generally when

footy matches happen, d'you know?

Got you.

# Condemned to be a stranger

Subway dweller, dead-end danger

# Peeking through the dust of friends

Who never gave, they'd only lend

# Every sneer is thrown away

With practised gestures of disdain

# The outlaw stance is so pedantic

Hate the world, it's so romantic

# Young savage, young savage

# She's like a steel wall

Speaks like a dance hall

# Young savage, young savage

# Anything goes

Where no one knows you...

- Who's that c*nt?

- Carty. My name's Carty.

# She's like a steel wall

Speaks like a dance hall

# Young savage, young savage

# Anything goes... #

Youse all ready?

- You ready?

- I f***ing am.

- All right. Get them together.

- Come on, boys.

- Stick together, lads.

- We're f***ing here, boys.

It's rock'n'roll,

and no f***er better bail.

- Stick together. No noise.

- Ahh!

Whoa, whoa, whoa!

Slow down. F***ing walk, will youse?

Make sure you're in there, you ponce.

- What?

- You f***ing know.

Stick together, you hear me?

F***ing told you, didn't I? Knew

they wouldn't show, the shithouses.

Hey, you fucks! Where's your scarves,

you gang of homos?

# Time flies

# Time crawls

# Like an insect

# Up and down the walls

# The light pours out of me

# The light pours out of me...

F***ing go through these queers easy,

boys, yeah?

I love it when they say that.

# The conspiracy...

Go through these queers easy,

boys, yeah?

# Of silence

# Ought to revolutionise

my thought...

Go through these queers easy!

# The light pours out of me...

F***ing stand. Stand, you wankers!

You're f***ing nothing, d*ckhead!

Get through him!

# It jerks out of me

# Like blood

# In this still life... #

F***ing baldy prick!

Come on!

# The light pours out of me...

You f***ing bastards!

You f***ing bastards!

Well?

- Oh, yeah. Sh*t. Sorry, Moll.

- Forget it.

Look, just stop and think, will you?

Look, Molly, I... I completely forgot.

Try and think

what all this is like for me.

- Look, I'm sorry about last night.

- It should be me apologising.

It's just been tough all round, eh?

It has. I've been bloody useless,

but I'm gonna make it up to you.

Oh, yeah?

How?

If I was to say it was payday

on Friday, I'd be saying too much.

Oh, really? Honestly, Pug, you gonna

take me shopping? Where? Where?

Where do you want to go?

Chester. I want to go shopping

in Chester. How much have I got?

Just have to wait and see

how generous I'm feeling.

...Thursday, you know, it's...

Yeah, I know that, but it's Tuesday

now, you know? All right, then.

Well, do your best, yeah? Okey-dokey.

I will.

All right, ta-ra now.

Ta-ra.

Oh, sh*t!

Make it a round flim, Bob?

I don't know if it's me getting old,

but the bourgeoisie is expanding.

Don't know what you mean.

You should do. You're one of them.

Classic f***ing petite bourgeoisie.

- Me?

- Like I say. You're my sister's son.

Oh, aye? How come, like?

In life, lad,

we fall into only two groups.

Those who determine

their own futures...

Round one. And those who sit around

waiting for it to happen to them.

Right, here we go.

Oh, sh*t.

You should be punching your

f***ing weight, start you've had.

You sound like f***ing Elvis.

Is existential bullshit

on the syllabus at Woody Comp?

You got a talent. Use it. Don't end up

like me. That's all I'm saying to you.

Don't end up like your Uncle f***ing Bob

filling forms all your life.

Look at the state of 'em, eh? Poor

so-and-so's can hardly f***ing wait.

Barely into December, and they're

already wishing f***ing Christmas on us.

Summer holiday and the Christmas

piss-up. That's all they've got.

Huh! And they spend all year

planning it as well.

Huh!

Eh?

No, you don't.

Not this time you don't, lad.

Just letting fate take its course.

I'm telling you, kid, no. No way.

You've had more time off work

than you've been in work.

Yeah, well,

welcome to the petite bourgeoisie.

No. What are you doing?

No, no. Please.

Do you think you can just

walk in here and f*** me?

I'll call the police.

No, no. You bastard!

So how's my little wage slave?

The ladies love a man in a suit.

- I'm sure they do.

- The one I just porked did.

Porked? Where are you from again?

I've had some mad ones in my time

but this one was past kinky.

F***ing telling you, EI, it was sick

what she wanted me to do to her.

Berlin.

Serious about going, then, kidda?

Sit down. Just finish this.

Ten bobs?

- Do they work?

- "Do they work?"

State of you, Carty la!

- You don't know nothing, do you?

- All right, EI, I was only asking.

D'you know what I mean? Think before

you start making such a c*nt of yourself.

D'you know?

Just learn, will you?

Know when to speak.

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