AWOL Page #3

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that you got.

And Joey, you're doing a good job.

I really appreciate that.

Attention.

Right face.

- One, two, three.

- -One.

- One, two, three.

- -Two.

All soldiers be advised,

bus departs post in 1400 hours.

Final boarding call.

- You've got to pay for it.

- -What?

- I did.

- Did you make the beans?

I opened the can.

That's making beans, right?

That's what the extent is.

Culinary master.

Joey, your mom told me

they've been having you

fixing some tanks

down there in Virginia.

Texas.

Is that what they're gonna

have you do in Iraq?

Afghanistan.

Uh, it's more like fixing

armored covered vehicles.

They're called rhinos.

That right, they're gonna

have you fix rhinos under fire?

Yeah, and I'm gonna be worried

about her night and day.

Pete, I heard

you got yourself a new job.

Uh, actually it was last month,

this month he got a raise.

Anyone wants soda?

Joey, you're gonna be filling in

for that shitty singer

Pete's been playing with?

If he wants me to.

Yeah, of course, she is.

- All right.

- We're practicing tonight.

Tomorrow should probably do.

Tomorrow works.

Oh, finally here. It feels like I've

been waiting for you for hours.

Beard! Since when

did you have that too?

Since I heard you liked it.

Is that enough to buy you

a shot or what?

Can I?

- Here.

- No.

Here's one on the house.

Uh, no.

You like it?

- What?

- Working in there.

Do you like it?

Pays better than Wendy's and I don't

smell like a fryer when I get home.

I don't know.

Looks like you're on display.

That's how I make

my tips, baby girl.

You could serve people drinks

without flashing your b*obs.

Don't give me that f***ing

possessive husband sh*t, Joey.

F***!

I don't need two of you.

I'm sorry.

I have some fun, Joey.

Just a little f***ing fun.

I want to have fun too.

The girls are sleeping so we

have to be quiet, okay? -Okay.

I love you, Joey.

I love you, Rayna.

Oh, baby.

I wanna run away with you.

I hate life without you.

Come live on the post with me.

Be my army wife.

- In Afghanistan?

- Mm-hmm.

I'm just gonna pretend for

now that you're not leaving.

Me too.

Voila, you have light.

You're chipper these days.

You're not on drugs, are you?

Gram!

Well, your ma didn't

start on all that

till you were already

in grade school.

So I gotta check.

All right, what's the

story with the stove?

Only one of them

burners is working.

If Roy gets you a new stove,

are you gonna keep it clean?

Oh, what do I need

with a new stove?

I'm gonna die this year.

I just want one of them

big burners to work.

You should ask Roy

for a new stove.

Better take it while you can,

'cause who know how long

he's gonna be in the picture.

Don't you start that nonsense.

You've been taking up

with them town boys again?

Don't you want me to be happy?

You're not gonna be happy

when all the kids in school

are beating up on your girls.

They're not babies

no more, Rayna.

This stove is not broken, gram.

You just got to clean it.

You know, your Roy treats be better

than any of my kids ever did.

That's setting

the bar real high.

I'm gonna surprise mom

on Christmas morning

with a fixed up car.

Motor oil, spark plugs,

antifreeze.

I'm gonna have that dog singin'.

That's after you get mine

and Kristen's singin', right?

Oh, I forgot to tell you.

This amazing engine diagnostics

tool that I brought back,

it's worth, like, I don't know, 3000 bucks.

It tells you everything.

They let you to do that?

Just like...

Borrow a $3000 tool?

Well, I mean...

The check-in counter

was closed,

and I wasn't going

to miss my bus.

God forbid!

Not another second without

my beautiful Rayna!

Oh, god!

She's a good person, Pete.

Let me ask you something, Joey.

Yeah?

You think the day

is ever gonna come

when she's gonna leave that husband

and go and be gay with you?

Yeah, I do.

I mean, I support you,

I do. I support you.

It's just, you know, it's...

Sh*t, this was on sale

last week.

Same... hey, you...

Are you that babysitter

my little girls have been

talking so much about?

The one with the boy name?

Yeah, Joey. Hi.

Hello, hey.

Yeah, she's over heating right

smack in the middle of winter.

You should check the antifreeze.

Hm?

So you fixes cars, huh?

Uh, I fix trucks in the army.

No, in the army?

I was in the army too.

Oh, sh*t.

You know, Rayna used to write

me the sweetest letters.

It really kept me going.

Hey, Joey.

- Yeah.

- Think we're gonna be late.

Yeah. Um, tell Sadie

and Hannah I said hi.

Yeah.

- Hey.

- There's my girl.

Fifteen minutes, honey.

All right.

Room three is empty,

if you wanna put a little

color in those cheeks.

Hmm, I'm fine.

How can I help you, honey?

You know a better

mani-pedi special?

F*** Roy.

F*** the army.

Let's start over

like you said, Joey.

What's your ma gonna say when you

bring home a bloody carcass?

Uh, hell no.

My mom's already got 500

questions she's dying to ask

without suspicious dead animals who

knocks around in our doorstep.

You could, uh,

dry up some deer jerky.

Eat it on your way to Vermont.

Let's bring it back to your

place and butcher it ourselves.

No.

Roy is coming home.

Roy is always coming home.

Yeah, well, that's the way it

works when you're married, Joey.

That's the way it works

when you're too afraid

of the unknown to change

your life for the better.

I'm sitting here,

telling you I want to change

my life for the better.

I think it's you.

You're the one

who's too afraid now.

It's not legal.

I signed something

that said three years

because you took me to the

recruiting center and told me to.

Rayna!

Rayna, let's wait and do

it right, like you said.

You're f***in' full of sh*t, Joey.

You know that?

I don't think you have any plans

of ever really being

with me ever.

I'm just your goddamn

Christmas vacation.

So let's just leave it at that.

You better hurry up

if you want a ride home.

I'm taking this deer

to gram's house.

When you headed out, Roy?

You used to like it.

Excuse me, how much is this?

You were in the salon

the other day.

Oh, uh, yeah.

My mom works there.

Well, that's cute,

hanging at the mall

with your mom.

Well, I'm only back for a

few days, I'm in the army.

Shouldn't think

that's hot but I do.

Men in uniform.

Got to do what I got to do.

I'm Haley.

I'm Joey.

That's your given name?

Joanna.

Ew, Haley picked

her up at the mall.

Joey, you're in the army?

- Mm-hmm.

- Wow.

Yeah, you guys, um...

You all go to college?

Oberlin, Wesley, and Smith.

So, um, post

"don't ask, don't tell,"

is it the dawn of a new era,

or an even more precarious

situation for lesbians?

Well... -I'm sure it's

the same f***in' sh*t.

Women's sexual harassment

complaints are rarely pursued,

while charges of homosexuality

made by the same men

are almost always investigated.

Wait. What?

Hello, can Joey answer

my question please?

I mean, yeah, the army

is just like regular life.

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