B*A*P*S

Synopsis: Nisi and Mickey are girlfriends who work as waitresses. To get the necessary money for opening their dream restaurant they fly to California to audition for a music video. There Nisi is asked by the nephew of Mr.Blakemore's (who is video director) to act for a week as granddaughter of Lily, Mr.Blakemores one true love, whom he lost long ago and couldn't pursue because she was his family's housekeeper. They revive Blakemore's interest for life, and he teaches them to be "Black American Princesses" in return.
Genre: Comedy
Director(s): Robert Townsend
Production: WARNER BROTHERS PICTURES
  2 nominations.
 
IMDB:
4.2
Rotten Tomatoes:
13%
PG-13
Year:
1997
91 min
2,928 Views


1

All right, y'all, you're jammin' with Dr. D...

on the number one station in Decatur,

Georgia.

I want to see y'all down at my club...

the Gold Tooth...

the place to be on Saturday night

with Dr. D.

Coming up next, we're going to give you...

the 411 from MTV vj Idalis,

so stay where you're at.

Why did you have to burn my toast, baby?

Now, you know you said

you wanted everything well-done.

And you know I didn't.

All right there, Nate.

Girl, don't pay him no mind.

He think he dolomite.

What's good on the menu?

Nothing.

There you go, Nate.

Just the way you like it.

Hey, Georgia, this is Idalis from MTV...

with a hot tip from you Southern gals.

Heavy D is looking for one special girl

who can dance...

has a great spirit, and loves to travel...

to be the video dance girl of the world

for his new video.

And get this, the lucky winner gets

$10,000 in cash.

You heard that right.

Auditions are this week in L. A...

So get a pen and paper...

Nisi?

You're daydreaming again.

No, no, no, I was taking their order.

Uh-uh. It's my second time

I done told you.

I'm taking $10 out of your doggone pay.

Ohh, Mr. Johnson!

Ohh!

$10?

I don't want to hear nothing, Nisi.

Not another word, another phrase,

another syllable.

Hey! Shut up!

I'm the captain of this doggone ship.

If it's too hot in the kitchen, Nisi, leave.

If the shoe fit, wear it.

If it too tight, take it off!

I can't believe Ali and James

stand us up again.

I'm through with them, girl.

Now, you see what I mean?

I ain't got nothing to lose.

What you mean you ain't got

nothing to lose?

You talking about

using all the money we have...

to go to some audition in California.

Nisi, you ain't even a dancer.

I am a dancer,

and I'll be dancin' my butt off...

for some $10,000.

Now, if I get this job, Mick...

we're going to have

more than enough money...

for the salon and the restaurant.

You ain't using our life savings...

to go to California on

some maybe mission.

Your life is right here.

We don't deserve this.

We deserve the best.

That's why you got me.

And you... You got me.

Aw, come on, baby, I'm sorry I'm late...

but, you know, sometimes

businessmen stuff can't wait.

Well, you can just keep your '"Sorry'"...

because you're a sorry excuse

for a boyfriend.

Hold on, hold on, hold on now.

You ain't know why we late, girl.

I don't know that y'all couldn't show up

here on time...

to walk us home from work.

We've been checking out

this classic 1935 Ford...

Eric's grandfather's selling.

That's right, and he's gonna sell it to us...

half the price.

If he was giving it away,

it still wouldn't matter.

Y'all ain't got no jobs.

We've been thinking about

putting applications in...

for the last month, baby...

but, you know,

the buses don't run everywhere.

But, look here, we're gonna buy the car...

and we're gonna start our own...

page-a-cab luxury cab company.

Oh, no. Come on, Mick.

Bye.

Hey, come on, come on.

Nisi, why you act like that?

Ali, I guess I'm tired...

of hearing about all your pipe dreams.

If you really cared about me...

you would get rid of that tired perm...

I've been telling you about forever.

Oh, I don't cut my hair!

I ain't cutting the hair, no.

If anything, I'm gonna bring

the perm back.

I was so mad, I just walked out.

And he said that was his cousin?

That's what he said.

Bopping around here with that

cracked up perm he got.

You know he's wrong.

Girl, why won't he let you cut his hair?

I don't know. I've been trying forever.

Now, I'm a hairdresser, right?

And my man walking around here...

Iooking like a broke-down Superfly.

No. No, Superfly's little brother.

Right, right. Superflea.

- Ow! - Be still then!

Shoot, you said you wanted

these pompoms, so you got 'em.

Girl, we need to move on...

and we need to get us some new jobs.

Hey, what's up, kids?

Idalis kickin' it MTV style.

Listen, y'all, I got the inside scoop...

on the biggest video audition

to hit the airwaves...

since the artist formerly

known as Prince...

was looking for that special girl

for his video...

The Most Beautiful Girl in the World.

Remember that?

Well, Heavy D is doing

a unique video himself.

He's going to be shooting this video

all over the world...

in beautiful, exotic places

like Brazil and Italy.

He's looking for that oh, so special girl...

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Go back.

A great body, a great smile...

and that twinkle in her eye.

He's looking for...

- Look! - Huh?

So, that's the same audition!

Girl?

I think it's a sign from God.

My mama always told me

good things come in 3.

I heard it on the radio,

now read it in a magazine...

and now it's on TV!

This is it, Mick!

Nisi, you buggin'.

But what if I ain't?

Come on, Mick. Let's go to L.A.

Let's do it.

Hell, yeah...

'cause there ain't nothing

but some fine young rich men in L.A.

I feel like partying right now. Come on.

Partying? We've got to try to

save every penny now.

Uh-uh. It's Tuesday night.

You know what that means.

Ladies night at the Gold Tooth.

We get in free!

Go, go. Git it, git it.

Go, go. Git it, git it.

I want everyone to have their I.D.s. Ready.

It's just so ridiculous.

Everybody in here want to be a player,

pimp, hustler.

Not me.

I just want a simple woman.

That's you. I'm telling you it's you.

Oh, really?

You're very special to me.

You see, I never met nobody like you

before in my life.

Your name is etched in my heart.

Shakima, right?

Keesha?

Mm-hmm...

I went to school with her.

All right, step forward.

Ooh, damn!

Fine and vivacious and beautiful.

Y'all look gooda-than-a-mug!

That's what he's trying to say.

Thank you.

Nisi, ain't you thirsty?

Yeah, let me get 4 hurricanes, bro.

Ooh, now, y'all look good

not like these hootchy girls.

Y'all got class.

Like waitresses or something.

That'll be $16 even.

Hell, no. Let's go. I ain't thirsty.

Come on, let's go to the bathroom.

Hey, hey, hey, wait a minute.

Hold it... hold it, girl.

Now, look, it was ladies night, right?

Y'all didn't have to pay to get in.

Y'all could have bought our drinks.

Uh, not in this life.

Now, hold on.

I ain't finished talking to you.

Will you let go of her arm?

You ain't her damn daddy.

Shut your ass up, you playa-hatin' heifer.

Get off me.

Hey, what you... what did I do?

Oh, what you gonna do,

captain save-a-ho? Humm?

Oh, no, it's on now, brother.

Get on up!

I'll knock your ass back down again.

Come on, here.

I swallowed my gold tooth!

Coming through here.

Ladies, ladies, ladies.

Hey, my man...

let me hear 4 of them hurricanes, partner.

Oh, he good for it. They good for it.

That'll be $16 even.

Oh, hell, no! Come on, Mick.

Come on, it's ladies night!

- Nisi! - Y'all got in free.

Nisi!

What's your problem?

Why you treating me like some stepchild?

Because I deserve better than this, Ali.

Don't you think I know that, baby?

I'm a businessman.

I'm trying to make things happen.

You've been trying to

Rate this script:2.2 / 5 votes

Troy Byer

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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