B. Monkey Page #4

to lose my job. I'm not

clever enough to have

a little kid be beaten

up again and again.

I was perfectly capable of dealing

with this my own way.

Yeah but you didn't and I did

and you got your job back

and the kid isn't coming to

school with bruises no more

Damn you!

I did it for you you f***ing f***!

I don't think so Beatrice,

I think you did it for yourself.

For the rush!

Beatrice!

I'm Going Round in Circles

Oh Bea sweetheart if youre going out,

bring me a sandwich.

Salami ciabatta.

OK, but I thought you

were a vegetarian.

I've been living a lie.

Sausage roll.

80p please.

Nice hat.

Nice suit.

Nice coat.

Nice car.

Who the f*** is that?

His name's John you've met him.

Where's little Mick?

I couldn't find him.

Jesus Bruno! You never f***ing said!

John's good. He's OK.

Be nice.

Rock 'N roll!

F***!

You know I'm always surprised considering

your rep what a little thing you are

Look at you. You might

as well have f***ing

bank robber written

on your forehead.

That's a good one.

It's not funny.

You got three and

a half minutes.

If the alarm goes I want you

out of there in 45 seconds flat.

Come on, killer!

Can I help?

On the floor!

I'm sorry sir?

This is a f***ing robbery.

Get on your f***ing knees

Or we'll shoot the sh*t out of you!

All of you floor it. Now!

I'll be one more minute.

Let's all live happily ever after.

What the f***?

On the floor! Get down on the floor!

Point the gun at them.

Give that to me son.

What did you say?

Get down on the f***ing floor!

If he's not down by three shoot him!

Jesus!

One...

Honey? Shut up!

Two!

Stop!

Nobody moves nobody else gets hurt.

I'm sorry love!

Fine f***ing robber

you turned out to be.

I'm so f***ing sorry that's

never happened to me before.

Bruno you were supposed

to stay in the car!

If I hadn't hit him you'd

still be in there.

Little f***!

I think I'm going to be sick.

Wipe your nose!

I haven't got a hanky!

I knew you'd f*** everything up

you're a bloody psychopath you know that?

I'll see you later then yeah?

The f*** you will!

You almost killed

that man for nothing.

So?

So why did you think I got out?

You lost your bottle

poncing around.

Because it's crazy, because you are crazy

because you're sick in the head.

We're both sick in the head Bea.

Let go of me!

There's nothing that I haven't done

that you ain't done too.

You're not out of it.

You love it.

You're a f***ing worthless piece of sh*t!

That's why Paul kicked you out and that's

why I don't ever want to see you again.

You understand? You're dead!

Bruno!

Took your time.

They didn't have salami so I had

to go to the deli.

Beatrice, I bless the day you walked

through that door.

Tarantelle Del Gargano

Mr Furnace.

I think it's important

to help children

develop their own problem

solving strategies.

After all it's going to be a very

different world from this one.

Well not too different one hopes.

Not in the Dales.

Tell me, Mr. Furnace,

do you have any particular personal

reasons for wanting to move to the area?

Well yes, yes I do.

We, that is my fiancee and I, we

we feel we've done our time

in the city and

well we'd like to have babies in a

good safe place.

You were streets ahead of those women you

know Alan, streets ahead.

You know when I read your CV I thought

"Hello" he's a lemon

But you've opened my eyes.

Thank you.

I've a cottage you can

rent if you'd like

that's very kind.

Two more please, Jack!

Benny!

The day I buried my good

wife I thought

I've had me knock.

I've had a good innings.

I'm ready to call it a day.

Why?

I find my horizons are wider now Alan.

I never dreamt it could happen

to me, never dreamt.

I don't suppose you've ever been

tempted to go round the wicket yourself?

Round the wicket?

A young man like you

Right arm over, swing it both ways?

Oh God! Um no. No!

Well not to worry lad.

Offer of cottage stands.

Thank you.

I know I love him. Very much.

You must hold onto it

it's terribly precious.

Most people don't even get close.

D'Amour L'ardente Flamme

What exactly are you doing here Benny?

I wanted to be with family.

Habit.

Nostalgia.

Nostalgia...

When I was a child growing up,

at school

I never dreamt I'd

end up like this!

Put it down!

Bruno told me you're in big f***ing

trouble with Frank.

I'm aware of that fact Benny.

He loves you so much.

Who?

Bruno!

Benny, give us a cuddle.

A cuddle? OK!

Nothing more though.

Oh Christ you again what a bore.

Just watch it you c*nt.

What the f*** is going on?

Another evening of

brilliant repartee.

Who are they?

You don't even

want to know sweetheart.

They're f***ing remedials.

Shut up c*nt!

Or I'll f***ing kill ya!

We're not impressed are we Dad?

Who the f***ing

hell are you then?

I'm his bodyguard son.

That's a f***ing toy

Take it off her!

Yeah that's right pop pop!

Sh*t! F***ing shot me!

Benny, chaps, time to reflect.

She f***ing shot me.

Next time I'll blow

your f***ing head off.

You see that?

I've got a f***ing hole in my leg!

Hello? Tony my dear!

No everything's fine.

I was just swinging from a chandelier

without a seat belt.

Oh that's sweet of you.

I'm terribly sorry.

Thank you. Alright good night.

Thank you Tony.

I think you should leave now.

Can you walk? Good.

and Tell Frank he should really

learn a little bit of patience.

Alright you f***er!

You are f***ing dead b*tch!

She can't f***ing shoot me.

Frank's going to

f***ing kill her. I'm going

to f***ing kill her.

Paul this is for you.

Use it to get yourself out

of this mess.

My goodness!

Promise!

Promise.

I thought you'd left me.

Bea...

I wanted to stop.

I need a bit of help Alan.

If there was just you and I,

if there was nothing else.

Could you bear it?

I would love it.

Tupelo Honey

It's only a bit of dust.

I used to love playing in tubs like

this when I was a kid.

Yeah?

I bet you never did this!

Sweet Jane

Hello?

Paul!

Benny!

Are you alright then?

Well yearning for you

tragically Benny.

Lying awake at night

calling your name you know.

F*** off Paul.

Benny I was thinking I'm so

glad you called if I only

knew where you were Benny I

mean I could come to you

only if I was desperate you know,

only if I was really at my wit's end.

Did you pay Frank the money?

Yes of course!

You swear?

My God strike me dead.

Oh Benny for God's sake give

me your number I miss you!

No I'm not telling you.

Give me your number Benny,

I'll give you a buzz!

I don't have a phone.

No phone?

No TV.

No TV! What's going on up there?

It's a trip. I just wanted

to say "Hello"

Hello, Benny.

I just wanted to see if you

were alright. Alright?

Bye Jim.

Oh bye, Beatrice.

Thank God for caller return.

The telephone number is: 01768...

F***ing Paul!

Benny darling...

I know it's smart to live in

the country but this is ridiculous.

What the f*** are

you doing here?

Missing you lover that's all!

What happened to your finger?

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