Babes on Broadway Page #6

Penny...

Why didn't you guys shut me up?

Penny, I...

If you'll only...

What's the matter,

did you run out of speeches?

You know, you make me

feel pretty awful.

Well, you shouldn't.

You're getting everything you wanted.

First, you wanted a cause.

Well, you got it.

Then you wanted a showcase.

Well, you got that too.

Then you wanted to get to Broadway.

Well, you're gonna get there.

Of course, you may knock down

a few people and climb over them...

...but you'll get there.

You're gonna be a big success.

You ought to be very happy.

Penny. Gee, you said that

as if you hated me.

That's silly. I don't hate you.

I think you're wonderful.

- Your talent, your ambition...

- Well, then, what's the matter?

Nothing.

I just don't think

you're Abraham Lincoln anymore, that's all.

Go on, there's your cue.

No, no. This is your party.

Ladies and gentlemen...

...I think it's wonderful the way

you've turned out for our block party.

The purpose of this was to give you

a sample of what you're gonna see later on.

And of course, to collect enough money

to hire a theater.

We're gonna pass the hat now.

Everything we collect will go

towards putting on our big show.

And we hope to raise enough money

from that...

...to send the settlement house kids

to the country.

And now, there's someone that

Mr. Stone feels that you ought to meet.

And nothing would have been possible

without him.

Ladies and gentlemen,

I give you Mr. Tommy Williams.

You really gave me away.

Ladies and gentlemen, thank you.

Thank you very much.

I, well...

Well, in the face of all this,

there's just nothing I can say.

For the first time in his life.

Ladies and gentlemen,

we have a big surprise for you.

As our special guest today...

...we have a group of young people

all the way from London, England.

In a few moments, their mothers

and fathers will be with us too...

...by way of shortwave

transatlantic hookup.

I now take great honor

in presenting to you at this time...

...our little cousins from across the sea.

- Hello. Hello, Mrs. Downing.

- Yes, this is Mrs. Downing.

We have your daughter here.

All right, Elinor.

- Hello? Mommy? Is that you?

- Hello, darling. Yes. How are you?

Oh, splendid, Mommy.

I've gained 5 pounds.

How's Daddy and Rex?

Daddy's fine.

Rex is wagging his tail right now.

- How are you getting along, dear?

- Oh, hunky-dory.

- What did you say?

- Hunky-dory. That's American for "okay. "

Okay, Elinor.

Hello, Mr. Phillips. Come in, Mr. Phillips.

- Hello?

- Hello, son. How are you, old boy?

Fine. I... I...

Is that all you have to say for yourself?

How do you like America?

Fine little place. Only they drive

on the wrong side of the road.

Anything you want me

to tell Grandmother?

Oh, yes. Tell her to change the mark

on the kitchen wall.

I've grown a whole inch taller.

Good enough. Keep growing, Robert.

We'll be seeing you soon.

Righto, governor.

Oh, tell Billy Hammond

I'm learning to roller skate.

Thank you, Robert. That was swell.

And now, London, I want to introduce

little Barbara Jo Conway...

...who is acting as official hostess

to all your children...

...at the Fourth of July celebration

down here on the East Side of New York.

Hello? Hello, London? Can you hear me?

Gosh, it's wonderful

to have your children here.

We really wish you were here too.

And now we've got a special song for you

and Penny Morris is gonna sing it for you.

Really, folks, I wish you could see her.

She's beautiful.

From the dark cafes of Paris

From the streets of Amsterdam

From the homes of old vienna

To the shores of Uncle Sam

Wherever freedom's hope is true

Each heart cries out to you

Don't give up, Tommy Atkins

Be a stout fella

Chin up! Cheerio! Carry on!

Keep a stiff upper lip

When you're in doubt, fella

Chin up! Cheerio! Carry on!

Oh, the sun's sure to smile

On your tight little isle

So hang on to your wits

And you'll turn the blitz on Fritz

There's a whole world behind you

Shoutin', "Stout fella!"

Chin up! Cheerio! Carry on!

Don't give up, Tommy Atkins

Be a stout fella

Chin up! Cheerio! Carry on!

Keep a stiff upper lip

When you're in doubt, fella

Chin up! Cheerio! Carry on!

Oh, the sun's sure to smile

On your tight little isle

So hang on to your wits

And you'll turn the blitz on Fritz

There's a whole world behind you

Shoutin', "Stout fella!"

Chin up! Cheerio! Carry on!

Don't give up, Tommy Atkins

Be a stout fella

Chin up! Cheerio! Carry on!

Keep a stiff upper lip

When you're in doubt, fella

Chin up! Cheerio! Carry on!

Oh, the sun's sure to smile

On your tight little isle

So hang on to your wits

And you'll turn the blitz on Fritz

There's a whole world behind you

Shoutin', "Stout fella!"

Chin up!

Cheerio!

Carry on!

Carry on!

I knew I never should have

opened this show.

Thornton, don't let these

small-town critics get you down.

Oh, a Boy Scout could tell

what's wrong with this turkey.

It's tired, it's stale, it needs air.

All we need is

a couple numbers and jokes.

Jokes? I expected someone

to come out and say:

"Who was that lady

I seen you with last night?"

Mason, call New York.

Get Jonesy on the phone.

I'll make a show of this yet.

Get me New York, Plaza 66601.

Say, how about changing the costumes

on that hotel number?

Sure, only we'll change the costumes

and the music and the backdrop...

...and the actors,

every mother's ham of them.

- What are you gonna do, close?

- Thornton Reed never closes.

- Hello? Hello, Jonesy?

- Give me that. Jonesy.

Oh, yes, Thornton.

Yes, I've seen the notices. Yes, Thornton.

We need a new first-act finale

and a new number in the second act.

Call every agent in New York,

if you have to.

But be here tomorrow night sure...

...and bring some performers with you

that can sing and dance.

Yes, and for the love of Philadelphia,

don't bring them in wheelchairs.

Get Marelli. See if he can get

Lane and Abbot for Mr. Reed immediately.

- Excuse me.

- Well, Tommy.

Have you seen your pictures

in the papers?

Yeah, say, how about that?

- Look, look. Oh, I've got more too.

- I suppose you'll send them to your mother?

Yeah, she'll think I'm running

for president.

All hokum aside, Jonesy,

how did you like us last night?

I was really impressed.

Well, if you like us,

then we're on our way.

We got $42 last night

and with your contribution, it makes 67.

All we need is a theater.

You find out about the old Duchess?

Yes, and Mr. Reed still owns it.

But I'm afraid it won't be any good

to you, Tommy.

- Why not?

- Well, it hasn't been occupied in years.

Hasn't even any seats in it.

Well, it has a stage, hasn't it?

Yes, but it's a warehouse.

Oh, we don't care. We'll take it.

Here, I got the bread right with me. Here.

- Sixty-seven dollars.

- No, Tommy. I'd have to ask Mr. Reed.

And I can't bother him now.

He's having so much trouble.

Hello? Oh, hello, Marelli.

Did you get them?

But Mr. Reed will give them 1500

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