Babysitters Beware

---

(Barking)

(Barking)

(Electricity fizzling)

(Whining)

Shut up, flea bag.

Papa's listening to music.

(Sighing)

(Muffled)

Mom, Dad's home!

Dad, are you ready?

Danny!

What's new, kidderoo?

Hi, Janelle.

Client dinner?

Uh, betcha two bucks.

Hey, buddy. Got to run.

Mom and I have a client dinner.

Oh, sorry.

Hi.

Hi.

Oh, Danny,

I forgot to tell you.

I have to go with your dad

to a client dinner tonight.

I'm really sorry,

sweetheart.

You guys go out

every night.

When do we get to

practice baseball?

I know it's a lot, Danny.

I'd rather be hanging out with

you, but I've got a job to do.

Hey, you know,

that's okay.

We're going to have

tons of fun.

Aren't we, Danny?

Sure.

Hey, how about tomorrow after

work, you, me, and a baseball?

No excuses!

No excuses!

No excuses!

Deal.

Um, deal.

Hey, thanks for being

such a good kid.

I don't know what we'd do

if you weren't.

Hey, do you want to go up

and play with Iggy?

No. Your iguana

scares the poop out of me.

DAD:

Maybe Janelle

could practice with you.

Oh, that sounds fun.

Not!

Not!

(Dog barking)

(Electricity fizzling)

(Dog whimpering)

Nice catch.

I'm going to have to sit for you

for free for a month

to pay for

all these flower pots.

Geez.

Nice throw, kidderoo.

(Pot breaking)

(Pot breaking)

My dad's

a lot better than you,

so is my friend Marco,

and his older sister.

Thanks for

the tough love, pal.

Try-outs are coming up.

I want a better position.

Oh, yeah?

What'd you play last year?

Pitcher.

Oh, pitcher's good,

isn't it?

Not in T-ball.

In T-ball,

the pitcher's just standing

in the middle of the diamond,

scratching his butt.

This year is real baseball.

I want to be on first base.

(Barking)

(Electricity fizzling)

(Dog whimpering)

All right, well,

let's see what you got.

(Baseball organ music)

(Pot breaking)

I'm going to get stuck

in Little Tykes league.

It's not fair. Why does Dad

have to go out every night?

I never get to see him.

Well, parents

have to work.

At least you got me.

But I try to be good.

That doesn't have

anything to do with it.

You're a good kid, Danny.

Maybe too good.

You gotta try

a little trouble sometimes.

(Dog barking)

(Electricity fizzling)

(Dog whimpering)

(Electricity fizzling)

(Dog Whimpering)

(Electricity fizzling)

(Dog Whimpering)

Hey, you know

what would be fun?

What would be fun?

(Barking)

(Barking)

(Barking)

(Barking)

Shut up, fleabag.

(Electricity fizzling)

(Yelling)

That was a close one.

(Yelling)

Go get it.

Go get it.

Lousy watchdog.

(Yelling)

Darn kids.

I hate kids!

So do you think

we hurt Mr. Willowsbag?

Ah, no more than he hurts

his dog 500 times a day.

"Humane training device."

See, we were

just training him.

To be nicer to his dog?

Exactly.

You're a good kid, Danny.

Probably the best kid

I sit for.

A little mischief once

in a while never hurt anybody.

Well,

maybe Mr. Willowsbag.

(Electricity fizzling)

(Yelling)

(Laughing)

(Door unlocking)

I hope

you like chocolate.

How was he?

Oh, so adorable.

There was--

There was leftover pizza, and

he wanted to call the food bank

and see if they needed it.

It was so cute.

Thank you so much,

Janelle.

Don't know

what we'd do without you.

What?

Uh, I'm taking

an SAT prep class,

so I'm not going

to be able to sit

for the next couple

of weeks.

Wow.

Danny is really

going to miss you.

Ohh.

Seems like the only time

I see him anymore,

he's already asleep.

(Whispering)

That smile is so cute.

Yeah.

(Whispering)

Come on, let's go.

So did they

ever catch you?

Not yet. I think

he thinks the dog did it.

Too slow.

Can't throw.

Girl.

Hits like a girl.

You hit like a girl.

Pipsqueak and Porker, huh?

Put two of you together,

and you make one player.

One really sucky player.

Mouth Breather.

Special Ed.

You smell,

but at least you can play.

Right field.

Sweet, dude.

We're gonna kick their butts.

What a jerk.

I hear Snook's been held back

every grade since kindergarten.

You.

How do you get held back

in kindergarten?

You know, I've been thinking

about your babysitter problem.

There's only

one solution.

You have to get on

the no-sit list.

What's the no-sit list?

My cousin

told me about it.

If you're bad enough,

no babysitter will take you.

They'll put you on the list.

Then your parents

will have to stay home.

No way.

Absolutely!

But you have to be

really bad.

High five, dude.

We're gonna win.

I bet you

Snook's on the list.

Right on the top.

(Laughing)

Pipsqueak and Porker, huh?

Well, I got a position

for you guys:

left out.

No way.

I'm playing.

I'll tell you what.

If you can throw it

hard enough to hurt,

yeah, I'll let you play.

Otherwise, hit the road.

Hard enough to hurt?

That's right.

That was

hard enough to hurt.

Uh-oh. Run!

KID:

Put CPR on him!

You're dead!

You better run.

Get him!

Run!

SNOOK:

Come on guys, get him!

I just don't think I can be

bad enough to get on the list.

Being bad

makes me feel gross,

like P.E.

or sitting next to a girl.

You don't have to be bad

all the time,

just for babysitters.

Yeah, but

what about Santa?

Easy. Just be bad enough

to get on the no-sit list,

then do a bunch

of good stuff in December

so you make

Santa's cut-off.

I'm not gonna risk it.

I'm gonna

stick with being good.

Hey, you wanna

come in?

I'll show you the decorations

for my birthday party.

It's gonna be awesome.

I better get home.

My dad's coming home early.

Just me,

him and baseball.

No excuses.

(Door opening)

Hey, buddy.

How was your day?

Great, now!

Let's go!

Hold on, Danny.

Come on, Dad.

You, me and a baseball.

No excuses?

I got some bad news

at work today.

Your mom and I

have to have a dinner meeting.

No excuses.

You shook.

It's work, Danny.

If it's work, how come

you're going to a restaurant?

When you're grown up,

you'll understand.

Now, be a good boy and

get ready for the babysitter.

At least I'll have fun

with Janelle.

About that.

Janelle

had another commitment.

So who's babysitting?

You remember Miss Greene?

DANNY:

She's the worst.

There are worse babysitters,

Danny. Believe me.

She doesn't let me watch TV, use

the internet, play videogames.

I'm sorry, buddy. She's all

we've got on short notice.

But I really appreciate

you being such a good sport.

(Jingling)

Can I watch TV?

Just the mention of television

misaligns my chakras.

Videogame?

Too violent.

Internet?

Predators.

Listen to my mom's iPod?

Ruins your ears.

Radio?

No.

Why?

Electronic sounds

frazzle my nerves.

I could sing for you.

How about a nice

Apache burial song?

(Singing)

Uh, no thanks.

Oh, all right.

Probably a good idea.

We don't want

to summon the spirits.

We'll just sit here

and enjoy the quiet.

Would you like to do something

that's really fun?

Sure!

Oh, dear.

Well, you can share

my macram project with me.

How's your

prune smoothie, dear?

It's organic.

I need

to go to the bathroom.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes