Backbeat Page #2

(Cheering, whistling and whooping)

(Music ends, applause)

(Booing and hissing)

Good evening, ladies and genitals,

we're the band.

You'll be happy to know

we keep our clothes on.

(Silence)

Er...on drums, Mr. Pete Best.

On guitar, Mr. Paul McCartney.

On bass, recently arrived

from the dark side of the moon,

Mr. Stuart Sutcliffe.

And on guitar, Mr. George Harrison.

He's only just on solid food.

My name's Lennon.

John Winston Lennon.

I was named after Churchill -

John Churchill, the wet fish man.

Me parents were gonna call me after me father

but Dad's such a stupid f***ing name.

(Silence)

If you'd all like to line up

and tell us your names.

- Thank you, brother.

- One, two, three, four.

(# Rock-'n'-roll)

# Good golly, Miss Molly

# Sure likes to ball

# Good golly, Miss Molly

# Sure likes to ball

# When you're rockin' and a rollin'

# Can't hear your momma call

# From the early, early mornin'

to the early, early night

# You can see Miss Molly rockin'

at the house of blue light

# Good golly, Miss Molly

# Sure likes to ball

# When you're rockin' and a rollin'

# Can't hear your momma call

# Momma, Poppa told me

son, you'd better watch your step

# If he knew about Miss Molly

I'd have to watch my pa myself

# Good golly, Miss Molly

# Sure likes to ball

# When you're rockin' and a rollin'

# Can't hear your momma call

# Good golly, Miss Molly

# Sure likes to ball

# Good golly, Miss Molly

# Sure likes to ball

# When you're rockin' and a rollin'

# Can't hear your momma call

# Going to the corner,

gonna buy a diamond ring

# She hugged me and she kissed me,

made me ting-a-ling-a-ling

# Good golly, Miss Molly

# Sure likes to ball

# When you're rockin' and a rollin'

# Can't hear your momma call #

(Excited moaning)

(Bed rattling)

- Sutcliffe?

- Not now, John.

Tell all our listeners out there,

how are you finding it here in Hamburg?

(Excited moaning)

(Moaning continues)

- You are not cold?

- Cold? Me? No.

I don't feel the cold.

(Orgasmic shrieking)

You, erm...don't want to go inside?

I'd sooner freeze.

(Woman yells and gasps)

(With posh voice) So, Sutcliffe, I know

all our listeners will want to ask you this,

are you glad you came?

Was it the right choice?

# Oh, Carol

- (Cheering)

- # Don't let him steal your heart away

# I'm gonna learn to dance

if it takes me all night and day

(Whistling)

# If you wanna hear some music

like the boys are playin'

# Hold tight, tap your foot,

don't let 'em carry you away

# Don't let the heat overcome you

when they play it so loud

(Whooping and whistling)

# Well, let the music intrigue you

when they get a crowd

# Well, if you can't dance,

I know that you wish you could

# I got my eyes on you baby

cos you dance so good #

(Cheering, applause and whistling)

# I remember too a distant bell

# And the stars that fell

# Like the rain out of the blue

# When my life is through

- # And the angels ask me to recall... #

- Hey!

I don't want you doing that.

Listen, you.

You want to fight somebody, fight me.

If you don't want to fight,

then listen to the f***ing band.

If you don't want to listen to the band,

f*** off and choke to death.

Do you understand me?

Get me meaning, mate?

I can't fight you.

You're wearing a dress.

(Laughter)

All right, here's a slow one

for all you lovebirds out there.

# Well, I got a girl with a record machine

# Comes to lovin', she's the queen

# We go to dance on a Saturday night

# All alone I can hold her tight

# She lives on the 20th floor uptown

# The elevator's broken down

# So I walk one, two flight, three flight, four

# Five, six, seven flight, eight flight more

# Up to the twelfth, I'm starting to drag

# Fifteenth floor, I'm ready to sag

# Get to the top, I'm too tired to rock

# Well, she called me up on the telephone

# "Come over, baby, I'm all alone"

# I said, "Baby, you're mighty sweet

# "But I'm in bed with aching feet"

# This went on for a couple of days

# But I could not stay away

# So I walk one, two flight, three flight, four

# Five, six, seven flight, eight flight more

# Up to the twelfth, I'm starting to drag

# Fifteenth floor, I'm ready to sag

# Get to the top, I'm too tired to rock #

That's 7.50.

My name is Klaus.

Cheers, Klaus.

- It sounds German.

- Why are you over here, Klaus?

I liked your show. You had fun.

Fun? You call that fun?

What do you call it?

I call it three nights with no sleep,

too long between drinks,

I call it dying for a piss.

I call it a hard f***ing day's night.

Is he always like this?

No. You'd be surprised,

he can be quite bitter and twisted.

What's the problem, Paul?

- (Sighs) It's about Stu.

- What about Stu?

He just stands there.

I know you can play bass

better than he can, we all know that.

But what Stu plays is just right.

It's rock-'n'-roll.

I know he's great

but all he does is stand there.

It's the way he stands.

English!

Showtime!

Come on, Bruno, have a heart,

we're knackered.

One o'clock. Showtime.

Just look at us.

Look at George, he's dead on his feet.

Look at Pete, his hands are f***ed.

Look at me, I'm knackered.

I'm a shadow of meself.

- I haven't eaten in a week.

- Here.

I was thinking more

along the lines of a steak.

# Saw Uncle John with Long Tall Sally

# He saw Aunt Mary comin'

and he ducked back in the alley, oh, baby

# Yeah, baby

# Ooh, baby

# Havin' some fun tonight - whoa!

(Screams)

# Well, Long Tall Sally,

she's built for speed, she got

# Everything that Uncle John needs, oh, baby

# Yeah, baby

# Ooh, baby

# Havin' some fun tonight, yeah

# Yeah, yeah

# Have some fun tonight

Have some fun tonight

# Everything's all right

# Gonna have some fun tonight

# Have some fun, some...

yeah, yeah, yeah #

(Knocks)

- (John) I can't sleep.

- Me, neither.

That's much better.

- All the difference.

- Mm.

(# Faint rock-'n'-roll)

# If you wanna dance with me

# If you wanna dance with me

# I took my loved one over 'cross the tracks

# So she could hear my man a-wailin' sax

# I must admit they had a rockin' band

# Man, they were blowin' like a hurricane

# That's why I go for that rock and roll music

# Any old way you choose it

# It's got a backbeat you can't lose it

# Any old time you use it

# It's gotta be rock and roll music

# If you wanna dance with me

# If you wanna dance with me

# Way down south they gave a jubilee

# Those Georgia folks they had a jamboree

# They're drinking homebrew from a wooden cup

# The folks dancin' got all shook up

# They started playing that rock and roll music

# Any old time you use it

# It's got a backbeat you can't lose it

# Any old time you use it

# It's gotta be rock and roll music... #

(Speaks German)

# I'm in the mood to hear a mambo... #

(Speaks German)

# Some people rockin' that piano

# That's why I go for that rock and roll music

# Any old time you use it

# It's got a backbeat you can't lose it

# Any old time you use it

# It's gotta be rock and roll music

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