Backgammon Page #4

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Or at least we can wait together

until Gerald comes back.

If...

In case Gerald comes back.

I'll be right back.

Wait.

This is ridiculous,

it's f***ing ridiculous.

[Beth] Hey, you've reached

Beth's voicemail.

Leave a message...

Or do you want something else?

Vodka? Whiskey?

Absinth e?

Just be straight with me,

what's going on?

Let's have a glass of wine

and I'll explain.

Everything's all right.

I promise.

So, explain.

- I'm waiting.

- Okay.

I'll explain.

Andrew came...

I mean, Gerald came

while you were looking for him.

You're not serious.

- No.

- Why are you joking?

No, I'm not.

Huh...

Let's play cards or backgammon.

We'll loosen up

and I'll tell you everything.

There's nothing to be afraid of.

Everything is great.

Better than great.

I'm not so sure.

You put the game out.

You wanted to play.

So, let's play.

I think I should leave.

Okay, then leave.

[Shivering]

What are you doing?

Stop!

[Panting]

God, why did you come back?

You should've just left.

Is it deep?

[Water trinkling]

Who did those other ones?

Me.

Why would you

do this to yourself?

You shouldn't have

come back like that

without knocking or...

Let me do it.

Because of Gerald.

Why did you put up with him?

Who are you to pass judgment?

I'm just asking.

Will you get me

my glass of wine, please.

Sure.

You promise me

you won't do that again?

I won't.

I'm making some coffee.

Would you like some?

I want a lot.

Yeah, I'll have a cup.

So why'd you do that

to yourself?

I suppose we all give the best

of our hearts

uncritically to those

who hardly think about us

in return.

T.H. White.

Why would you

cut yourself for him?

Blood.

Life.

To feel alive.

To feel something.

To feel in control of something.

Gerald took that away from me.

Control.

He's a painter.

Me though, [Giggles].

I don't wanna

talk about that anymore.

Tell me about yourself.

There's not much to tell.

I mean, you're the one

with the interesting life here.

You've been places, done things.

Traveling doesn't mean

you necessarily see things

or learn anything.

Miranda...

I know

this is probably bad timing...

- Yeah?

- But...

I'd like to get us

something else.

Other than wine.

I'd offer you pork,

but I don't think

there's any left.

Oh, we should drink

something harder,

with a little punch.

How about some vodka?

Absinthe?

I've never had absinthe, but no.

Aw, don't be stupid.

Never had absinthe.

Mm.

Miss, you shall be...

Educated.

[Water splashes]

Here.

You take this.

I'll take the knife.

Why the knife?

In case we have

unwanted visitors.

Besides, I like the shiny object

that shines.

[Giggles]

Gerald used to say things

like that.

Sometimes he was funny.

Gerald introduced me to it.

And he had to drink it,

because Baudelaire did.

But I came to love it

because Ernest Dowson drank it.

- Who's that?

- Mm.

He was a decadent poet

who drank himself to death

at the unripe, young age of 33.

[Gasps]

[Panting]

Before" on second thought,

I wanted to ask you

if we could play one last game.

Backgammon.

Just one game.

If you win, I'll let you

keep the paintings...

I told you

I don't want the paintings

or anything that I want

from Gerald.

Me?

You want me?

[Giggles]

They're your paintings now.

Well, it doesn't matter anyway

because he took them.

Right?

Yes.

I think so.

Well, they're not there anymore,

so somebody

must have taken them.

Ugh, do you wanna play or not?

Just one game.

Then afterwards

we will forget everything.

Mm. But I really want

some more absinthe.

Come on, let's go.

There are lots of rituals

associated with absinthe.

Rituals?

What kind of rituals?

Well, I only drink it

when I'm already drunk.

Or hungover.

And I pour it in a proportion

of four to one.

And it's best drunk in bed.

Why in bed?

Because it affects

my ability to stand up.

If I collapse,

then probably more comfortable

if I'm already lying in bed.

You're gonna carry

that knife around...

- The whole night?

- Yes.

Well...

You want me to, right?

And the absinthe too,

the whole night.

Oh, do you want one?

A knife?

No, I'm okay.

Thanks, I...

I trust you to protect me,

it's okay.

[Laughs]

Ahh, I love backgammon.

Especially

because Gerald hated it.

It's simple but who cares?

[Sighs]

Now, I only set it out

because I was tired of poker

and I wanted to change games

in case Gerald came back,

but...

Well, anyway.

Let's just play.

We only have to play one game.

If you win,

you can keep everything you won.

- If I win...

- [Groans]

I keep it.

I told you, I don't care.

I don't care.

Let's play.

[Laughs]

I won.

Yes.

I won.

- Well, I know that.

- I won! I won.

I won, I won, I won, I won.

I won.

[Laughs]

You- ...

One more.

Double or quits.

[Laughs]

You idiot.

Get out.

That was... that was good.

I have to make a confession.

Mm.

A confession.

I was the one that took

all the paintings.

He disfigured me

in so many ways...

Distorted studies of me,

distorted...

So many unfinished pictures

of me.

And what about

the changing picture?

[Miranda]

Blurry.

Representational,

but not representation.

I'm the painter.

And what about him?

He ls not.

He ls... he is [Snorts].

Gerald's not coming back.

It's all yours now.

What do you mean,

you're the painter?

I'm the painter.

Gerald, no, no, no.

No!

Absolutely, no!

No.

You're not gonna do

anything stupid

with that knife again, are you?

I'm better than ever.

Don't worry.

Let's go to bed.

[Moans]

[Moaning continues]

That's me.

And all th ese pictures

are mine.

Remember I won them back,

so I brought them out.

It's true.

They are mine.

I've painted them.

And I've won them back from you.

So, you painted all of these.

Yes.

[Chuckles]

He didn't know how to paint.

He painted some

but not very well.

For instance,

this piece of sh*t was his.

I was trying to change it,

but it was so bad

I couldn't do it.

[Chuckles]

This does look different.

It does remind me

of the one in your bedroom.

It's like a new you.

Let's go have breakfast.

I like your robe.

Gerald bought it for me.

It's meant to have belonged

to queen Victoria.

Oh. Really?

No, probably not.

No.

So, Gerald...

Why did he pretend about

the exhibition

and the paintings?

Guess what?

Game over.

I'm the f***ing painter!

You don't...

Forget it.

I need a cigarette.

I'm going to go outside

for a minute.

Miranda?

Miranda?

Miranda?

There you are.

[Miranda]

I need to show you something.

[Lucian]

Show me what?

I didn't have the courage

to go look

until I saw you there with me.

I got the courage

to come and see.

See what?

Miranda,

is everything all right?

We fought, he hit me,

I tried to escape.

He hit me, but I got him back.

He was really drunk with a rock.

Is that...

Oh, my...

Oh, sh*t.

No, no, no, oh, my...

I don't feel good.

I don't think...

I don't feel good.

Huh, I didn't know that

I had killed him until now.

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