Bad Apples Page #5

---

Yeah, yeah.

Go on.

This Katy dude, my cousin

Trish, she knows him.

Well, knew him, for that matter.

He used to frequent

Barney's, that piece of sh*t

along the wall, pseudo

dive bar at the (mumbles).

And, this happened

when she sees the dude,

well he knocked her up.

But, this chick, well, he was

abusive, total piece of sh*t.

Verbal meets physical and

this grand perfect storm

of f*** you machismo.

Well she gets wise and

she leaves the dude.

But, she's already attached

to this burgeoning vermin

inside of her.

Like she's so excited.

She always wanted

to be a mother.

Forget the sperm sprayer who

put the two kids inside of her.

Wait, twins?

(ominous music)

You are the worst

storyteller ever.

F*** and you.

What do you mean?

I am a great storyteller.

No you're not.

Spoiler alert, that

the kids are twins.

You might as well just

tell the audience...

Okay, guys, I'm kinda freaked

out by this whole thing.

Apparently something horrible

happened in the house

in which I dwell and

my two best friends

decided not to tell me

until I moved my ass in.

So, if you could finish the

rest of the story, please.

They were twins.

Are.

Who's ruining the

story now, b*tch?

[Woman] Sorry, go on.

This skeezy dude, he's

spurned because she dropped

the mother f***er

like a bad habit.

Girl power.

Well, she started

dating another buck.

Nice guy.

But, still on the low proverbial

end of the higher class.

But, still a nice guy.

Well, this guy, man,

he can't take it,

her running around

with this new beau

while carrying his kids.

No!

No, sir.

And, one Halloween night.

15 years ago.

He snaps.

And, he stabs her in the belly

right here in this kitchen.

(ominous music)

Are you f***ing kidding me?

He stabbed her seven times.

Six.

It was seven.

I promise you it was six.

I swear to you it was seven.

Google.

Okay, guys, please.

I'm kinda freaked out by

this whole thing right now.

I don't care if it was six

or seven or 12 or 30 times.

A pregnant woman, pregnant,

got stabbed in my kitchen?

[Both Friends] Yeah.

Okay, never mind you

worthless slags not telling me,

but shouldn't my landlord?

I mean, God, this is something

they're supposed to reveal

at some point, right?

[Woman] Well, yes and

no, but it just depends.

That's the end of the story.

She dies.

I bet.

But, the kids didn't.

14 years later, those two girls,

those twins of evil,

those bad apples

born out of violence,

they took to the streets,

one Halloween night years ago.

Lord knows why they

chose that year.

You're talking about now.

It was the same year

as you moved to town, no.

How did I not know about this?

They start going door to

door knocking arbitrarily.

No rhyme, no f***ing reason.

But, if you weren't celebrating,

if you didn't have

your lights on, oh man,

did they have a treat for you.

Technically tricks really.

They killed a pedophile.

You know the one that

did the little draws kids

waiting to the area.

Oh, those poor little angels.

Good riddance to the

bad rubbish on that guy.

They kill a

trailer trash broad.

Some old chick.

But, the really sad one, was

this teacher gal's husband.

They kept her alive to deal with

all the pain and the misery.

Yeah, I see, I figured

you were aware of this.

This is some really

f***ed up sh*t.

Those two brats,

they totally cut...

No!

No.

That's the best part.

This is my time.

Fine, go ahead then.

Those two little brats,

they carved into his chest

a f***ing jack-o'-lantern.

I have to f***ing

show you the pictures.

I think it's on run.com.

[Woman] Really?

I'll look it up.

Google it, b*tch.

Guys, I don't wanna

hear this anymore.

I know that I said the

male entry was the best part.

But, really,

this, this is the best part.

Those two bad b*tches,

they're still alive.

What?

(giggles) See, that's

the part I don't believe.

What, it's true.

They never found

the bodies, I swear.

Okay, ladies, I'm done.

It's time for bed.

We have had a blast.

I need to go to bed.

(woman mumbles)

Have a carrot.

Ow.

(crickets chirping)

(loud knocking)

(loud knocking)

(ominous music)

(loud knocking)

(loud knocking)

(loud knocking)

(loud thudding)

Okay, (mumbles).

It just wasn't.

I'm fine.

(loud knocking)

(mumbles)

(loud knocking)

(mumbles)

(loud knocking)

(door creaking)

And, it was f***ing nothing.

(door creaking)

(eerie music)

(somber music)

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes