Bad Kids Go to Hell Page #3

So, it's a tough call.

Do you really worship the devil?

I do not worship the devil.

I just promote him.

Okay. Everyone, open your minds

and your thoughts.

Pretend you're in one of D-Day's

bullshit new age therapy sessions.

Relax your mind, Mr. Cook.

And tell me what you feel and what

you see, and Oh my God. Those tests.

His psych evals are

ridiculously in-depth.

I saw b*obs. And rock.

Awesome. Who wants

to be the medium?

Aren't you the medium?

I can't be the medium,

I'm the guide. Someone else

has to be the medium, and so,

Tricia's the medium.

What? Me?

Look, if you guys are really

scared, we don't have to Scared?

No, I'm not scared.

Let's do this.

Don't worry, I'll guide you as

you're channeling the spirit.

The ringing of the bell will

signify the spirit's presence.

Everyone, join hands.

Whatever we do, our hands must stay

clasped, to keep the circle unbroken.

Now, together,

breathe in unison.

You okay?

Everyone, move into a welcoming

state. Imagine a time you were

eagerly awaiting someone coming

into town:
A friend, a relative.

Then focus on the presence we

want to join us.

We welcome you, spirit.

Are you there?

Tricia, tell the spirit we

feel his presence here.

We feel your presence here.

Tricia, tell the spirit to

show us his presence.

Is the presence circumcised?

Maybe he's not packing

a very big presence.

Tricia, tell the spirit to

show us his presence.

Spirit? Show us your presence.

Well, that was fun.

Man, I told you, this is

some bull

Keep your hands together!

Don't break the circle!

You're doing this!

This is a trick!

No, I'm not doing anything!

What happened?

Meg? Meg? Breathe Meg!

Megan!

You don't see it?!

Oh sh*t.

Wait. Is she? Is she really?

What the f***, man?!

Jesus, what the hell? What the

f*** is your problem, man?!?

I'm sorry, I thought, I

thought that you guys she's,

she's really

Yes! She's really f***ing dead,

you a**holes!

God.

D-Day has our phones.

And the construction crew is

gone during winter break.

Everyone's gone during

winter break.

Oh sh*t. Out of juice. Okay. I

got maybe enough for one call.

9-1-1?

Wait! If they put you on hold,

we're f***ed.

Carlos. Yeah Carlos never

leaves his work.

Carlos! Carlos, listen to me,

listen to me

Who the f*** is Carlos?!

Just hit it open Craig!

Jesus, dude, you're just gonna

split your crutch!

Damn!

Stop! The axe will break! Okay, these

doors are titanium steel alloy!

Hold this.

We're trapped.

Yeah. With it.

Jesus, it's just the storm

messing with the lights.

Oh yeah? What about the bell?!

It's wind drafts blowing.

That was not a wind draft!

I don't know.

Like he said. It was the wind.

But I saw it! Okay! All of you

saw it and heard it, too!

Either a fuse or a transformer

got hit and overloaded

the lights. Okay, it makes a

low pitched wailing sound

like we heard in the room.

Please stop debating light

distortions and sound waves,

and figure out what

we're going to do!

I don't know.

Let's check our backpacks.

What is this?

Uh, that?

Study hall can be so boring.

I got a cable wire.

I got nothin'

What's this?

What is that?

Perhaps a letter of commendation?

Crest-peww mails them to all

their future world leaders.

What's the matter?

You don't trust me?

Do I need to?

It couldn't hurt.

Yes it would.

Tricia? Your backpack?

A backpack?

- Just take it out.

- What do you have?

Ooh!

Ahh...

Hey! Hey!

Oh my goodness!

You know we've got bigger stuff

to deal with than judging you.

Holy sh*t, I am so relieved.

Really!

You sneaky little mother fu...

I don't know how it got in

there! I swear I didn't take it!

Last week, in the lunchroom,

like that, you didn't take it?

I don't know what

he's talking about!

Alright, don't listen to him!

He's not a good person!

I'm talking about this!

In the lunchroom.

I figured out what you pulled.

Hey! Watch it!

Sorry!

- Hey, can I get a napkin?

- No.

Hey, listen, a**hole!

I just want a napkin.

Oh. Sorry.

A leader remains calm in the

face of adversity, Mister Clark.

And I am.

Just like you taught me.

Excellent.

Veronica! Office! Now!

Look. It wasn't her fault. Okay?

It was an accident.

- She didn't mean to do it.

- No. She did. She always means it.

And what about Megan? Hmm?

Was her strip show one of your

Leadership Mantras?

A detention does seem rather

trite, but I'm afraid her father

carries a certain amount

of influence.

However, if you are able to

earn early acceptance to

Harvard as did Miss McDurst,

then perhaps I can discuss

reducing your chores with

Headmaster Nash.

Thanks D-Day.

I'd appreciate that.

Right, then, I'll be off.

I believe I read something

about a General Clark once.

Apparently, he was a

most capable leader.

Who knows maybe

Maybe it skips a generation?

Perhaps.

Although, he wasn't very

popular with the locals either.

Excuse me. Find your seats.

Hey!

Hey!

That dude stole my soup.

Ahhhhhhhhh!

Where you rushing off to?

Mister Clark! Here at Crestview

we frown upon attacking

the retarded students.

He's not retarded. I was

I was just

You were just on your way

to my office Mister Clark.

But Tarek stole my soup!

You stole food from a wheelchair

bound retarded boy.

I'm not retarded!

Of course not. Good for you.

Mister Clark! Let's go!

You too!

Are you okay?

That has to be the most

bullshit story I've ever heard

in my life.

You believe me, right?

I only saw you tackle the

retarded kid.

I swear! I did not take

Megan's inhaler!

He's the criminal. Not me!

Then why wasn't the inhaler in

my backpack?

Perhaps, there have been things

that have recently

caused me some stress. Okay?

And I may or may not have always

acted rationally.

Okay. You!- all of you-don't understand.

You don't understand my father.

Okay?

He does not tolerate failure.

I must get into a good school.

So you're saying

What I'm saying is that today,

in this library,

I did not steal Megan's inhaler.

What I'm saying is, how did it

get in your f***ing backpack?!

I don't know!

Sha-zam! The Crest-pew

Intranet in full effect!

Took some digging in the local

papers, but I found our dead Indian.

Jacob Rainwater? Not much of an

obituary.

Rainwater is survived by one

family member

prior to the city taking

possession of his home, he was

housed at the local psychiatric

ward for a month, before he

jumped out a window.

The city of Crestview has been declared

executor for the Rainwater estate.

Wouldn't next of kin take

possession of his house?

It's Crestview. Property taxes reside

somewhere in Never-Never Land.

I doubt any of his kin is a

real high roller.

Poor old guy died broke

and alone.

I bet you can relate, huh?

Look, all of this is

just a coincidence.

I don't believe in coincidences.

Neither do I. And there is no

such thing as ghosts.

Exactly. And thank you.

And f*** you for the sh*t you

said before that.

All of us were in that room!

We were all holding hands!

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