Bader Zamalano the show the gout

Season #2 Episode #5

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[Narrator Bader (played by Judah Nelson) begins narrating]

Narrator Bader:
"It was just an ordinary day in my life. But Little did I know, this day would bring a hilarious turn of events."

[Scene:
Bader's living room]

Bader:
"Hey Slim Z, have you seen Caleb Reynolds? I heard he's got the gout!"

Slim Z:
"the Gout? Seriously? That's what you're curious about?"

Narrator Bader:
I know you’re probably wondering what is the gout

[A doctor addresses the camera from his office]

Doctor:
Well, gout, or the gout as some people like to call it, is a form of arthritis, which causes severe swelling usually in the ankle or the big toe. It's caused by a poor diet, including things like...

[The doctor appears behind Caleb Reynolds in the living room]

Doctor:
...smothered pork chops.

Caleb Reynolds:
Needs some salt.

Doctor:
Smothered chicken-fried bacon.

Caleb Reynolds:
Needs some salt.

Doctor:
And smothered chicken-fried bananas.

Caleb Reynolds:
Not bad. Needs salt.

Doctor:
Are you out your darn mind?

[Scene:
Caleb Reynolds' house]

Caleb Reynolds:
(with a bag of chips in his hand) "I should've known better than to eat all this junk food. Now, I'm stuck watching 'The Young and the Restless.'"

[Scene:
Bader's school]

Narrator Bader:
"Meanwhile, in the hallways of my academy, I received my report card from Mrs. Andrea. Little did I know, trouble was brewing."

Bader:
(opens his report card, shocked) "An F? This can't be!"

Caleb Johnston:
"Whoa, Bader, that's not good. What are you gonna do?"

Bader:
"I know a guy named Fisher. He can help me get a fake report card with an 'A.' And I also need a fake report card with an 'F' that looks like annie's signature."

Narrator Bader:
at westmore, if you needed something like a forged report card or a tardy slip, there was one guy that could get it for you, and his name was Fisher.

Caleb Johnston:
Hey, Fisher.

Fisher:
Who's this?

Bader:
bader.

Fisher:
Tell him I'm not talking to him.

Caleb Johnston:
He's not talking to you.

Fisher:
bader. He a friend of yours?

Caleb Johnston:
Yeah.

Fisher:
Pat him down.

Caleb Johnston:
[pats bader down] He's clean.

Fisher:
What does he want?

bader:
I need a new-

Fisher:
Hey, hey. Tell him I'm not talking to him.

Caleb Johnston:
He's not talking to you. He needs a new report card. He got an F, but he doesn't want to show it to Annie.

Fisher:
Okay, I got it. It's a two-part job. He needs a report card with an A for his mother to sign, and a report card with an F with annie's signature on it.

bader:
So you'll do it?

Fisher:
I'm not talking to him.

Caleb Johnston:
He's not talking to you.

Caleb Johnston:
So you'll do it?

Fisher:
Okay, let's say I do this for him. What's he gonna do for me?

Caleb Johnston:
What do you want?

Fisher:
How about a book report for English? [bader nods at caleb] Hey, what the hell's the

matter with you? Don't you see me talking to you?

Caleb Johnston:
Don't you see him talking to you?

bader:
Can it be on Martin Luther King?

Fisher:
Deal. Meet me in the science lab storage room at 3:00.

bader:
Thanks.

Fisher:
Yeah. Hey, look over there.

[As bader and Caleb turn around and see a guy using the water fountain, the stall where Fisher and his men were working disappears]

[Scene:
Bader's house]

Narrator Bader:
When Annie Got a call from Miss Andrea I was about to be dead

Annie Baltic:
(answers a phone call) "Hello? Yes, this is Annie. Bader got an 'F' on his report card? I can't believe it! Thank you for letting me know."

[Scene:
Bader's dinner table]

Annie:
(smiling) "Bader, I made your favorite pancakes for dinner! I hope this cheers you up."

Bader (nervously): "Um, thanks, Annie."

[Scene:
Bader's school]

Narrator Bader:
"The next day at school, I decided to come clean and return the fake report card. Little did I know, consequences awaited me."

Caleb Johnston:
So it worked?

Bader:
Yep. I told Annie that Miss Andrea was busy, and I told Miss Andrea that annie was busy. That was that, and I'm just glad it's over.

[When they walk into the class room, bader sees annie sitting on a chair at the back of the class]

Narrator Bader:
They say when you're about to

die your life flashes right before your eyes. Well, here's what mine looked like.

[footage of a plane crash, a stunt car crashing, a boxer getting hit in the face]

Mrs. Andrea:
(sternly) "Bader Zamalano, your family has been informed about your fake report card. Let's see if they can set you straight."

[Scene Bader's imagination]

Caleb Johnston:
"Sorry, dude, you messed up big time. We're not backing you up on this one."

Everleigh:
"Bye, Bader. Good luck!"

Caleb Reynolds:
"That's a Two dollar underwear You’re messing up!"

Tashi Anderson:
(mocking) "Rest in peace, piss pants!"

[Scene:
School hallway]

Annie:
(frustrated) "Alright, Bader, you have one last chance to prove you got an 'A.' Solve this division equation."

Bader:
(hesitant) "Um, I don't know the answer..."

[Scene:
School hallway, later]

Bader:
"Annie, you have to believe me! I didn't cheat or get an 'A.' Fischer helped me fake the report card because I was scared."

Annie:
"Oh, Bader, I had no idea. I'm sorry I went about this the wrong way."

[Scene:
A few months later, Bader's house]

Bader:
(Nervous) "Annie, I got my report card!."

Annie:
(relieved) "a d Bader got a d."

Bader:
(Confused) and you’re happy about that?

Annie:
i’m so happy that I wouldn’t smack the Chap of your lips

[End of Episode 5: The Gout]

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