Baggage Claim Page #2

Are you guys doing it?

No. If we were doing it,

I would not be answering my phone.

I would. So, how was it?

None of your business.

That bad, huh?

I didn't say it was bad.

You didn't say it was good.

It was good.

- Damn good.

- Then why are you on the phone?

If you must know,

Graham had an emergency...

business call and had to

fly out for an early meeting.

Being a gentleman...

he put me up at this amazing

hotel in one of the best suites.

Girl, please.

Montana, that man did not ask

you to fly all the way...

to Chicago on

Thanksgiving to insist...

that you stay in a hotel.

I smell a rat.

I don't want to hear it.

Hear what?

That he dropped you off

so he can dip his turkey neck

in another woman's gravy?

Graham is not seeing another woman.

- Prove it.

- How?

Go to his house and

see for yourself.

Gail, I am not

going over to that man's house.

Do you know how crazy

that would make me look?

Gail, I'm here.

- Where?

- Graham's house.

He came back and picked you up.

Sort of.

You went to his house uninvited?

You told me to.

I didn't think you'd do it.

Are you kidding me?

- What are you doing now?

- Going to his front door.

Umm-umm. Do not knock

on that man's door.

You'll look like a stalker.

Right now you just look desperate.

What am I supposed to do?

Go to the back.

Oh!

Okay.

What the hell was that?

Hello?

He's at the back door.

What do I do?

Do you see a trash can?

- Yeah. Why?

- Get in it.

Are you crazy?

I'm not getting in a trash can.

If I'm wrong about Graham...

- ...and he catches you...

- Hello?

At his house,

forget any future together.

Get in the can!

What are you doing?

I'm in the trash can.

Are you nuts?

You told me to.

Hello?

Montana?

I have to go.

Yes?

What are you doing now?

Looking thru his window.

Gail... it's beautiful.

Any panties on the floor?

No.

He's preparing for his meeting,

just like he said he was.

Gail was wrong.

Graham was alone.

And I was...

right where I wanted to be.

Sipping from the same mug.

Resting on the same rug.

Just the two of us.

And the kids.

And friends.

Toasting to our wonderful life.

What was that noise?

The sound of us toasting.

No, that is the sound of

somebody coming in the house!

Duck!

Un-break my heart

Say you'll love me again

Undo this hurt you caused

Oh my God.

When you walked out the door

And walked out of my life

Un-cry these tears

Montana? You want to talk about it?

Go away.

Hey.

You've been playing

that song all day.

Let's get something to eat.

I don't want to get dressed.

Okay, you don't have

to get dressed.

But you got to get out

of this apartment.

Okay?

I don't have to get dressed?

My cooking always cheers you up.

A little wine.

- Mo, you love avocado.

- All right.

Look at that.

Hey, vegan!

We are so excited. We wanted

you to be the first to know.

I wanted you to be

the first to know.

After me.

I'm engaged!

Derrick proposed

with a two-carat diamond ring!

I didn't get my first carat

until my third marriage.

Montana, does this single rose mean

you're not single anymore?

It's nothing.

Sheree's fiance is taking us

all out to dinner tonight.

I'm borrowing those earrings

I bought you for Christmas.

Oh, yes, honey. I should

have bought them for myself!

He's on track to break

the college record

for most receptions in a season,

maybe win a Heisman.

You know I'm happy for

you, right, Sheree?

But...

you're just a

sophomore in college.

You barely

know what you want to major in...

much less, who you want to

spend the rest of your life with.

Why now?

Why not now? He's a great guy.

And I don't want

to wait until I'm all old, like...

Like me.

I didn't mean it like that.

What do you think?

Yes? Fabulous? I hate them.

Mom's letting me wear

her wedding dress.

You can pick

whichever one you want.

Only one thing that would make

this the best wedding ever.

A bridesmaid again?

I can't go to

my little sister's wedding single.

I'll be the laughingstock

of my entire family.

If you need a man,

I can get you one.

Hey!

Don't embarrass me.

It's not a man I need...

it's a husband,

or a potential husband, in a month.

Marry Gail.

If she goes a week

without waxing her moustache,

they'll think it's Steve Harvey.

I'm serious.

Why is it so hard to

find the right guy?

Tell me about it.

Tell me about it.

A girl could have everything...

an MBA, a J-O-B, but no M-A-N.

That's because

men are intimidated by strong women.

I never tell guys

that I have a degree.

That's because you

don't have a degree.

Sam, you keep missing

the damn point.

I should give this back to you.

It's hopeless with me.

You won't show up single.

Give me your phone.

Uh, uh, uh!

Hang on. Now, look.

She hasn't got time

to meet someone new.

So why not revisit somebody old?

But I don't even know...

Picky is single.

If we're lucky, one of these guys

has blossomed into Mr. Right.

Let me see.

She hasn't talked

to any of these guys in years.

If she bumped into

one of them on a plane, she might.

How would I know if

they were traveling?

It's the holiday season...

everyone's traveling.

And when someone

wants to fly, what do they do?

Book a flight.

There's Tanya in ticketing.

I'm Tanya. Welcome to

TransAlliance. May I see your I.D.?

Frankie in the Frequent

Flyer program.

Thank you for choosing

TransAlliance.

I turned them on to my hook-up

at Louis Vuitton so

they owe me biggies.

There's Calvin at

curbside check-in.

Hi, I'm Calvin at curbside.

Welcome to TransAlliance,

a flight you can afford...

where your soul and bag

can be on one accord.

And there's Cedric in security.

First name, Cedric. Last name, take

everything out of your pockets!

I need your pockets

out of your pockets!

For the next few weeks,

any ex of yours

who flies anywhere, we'll know.

We just arrange your schedule

so you're on that flight.

First of all, this is the stupidest

idea ever. Secondly of all...

There's the degree.

Assuming you could find out

when these guys are flying...

which I doubt,

because it's your dumb-ass idea...

Gail!

These are all men you've dated

before, and it didn't work out.

So what is going to

make this any different?

Because this time, she's different.

Same action, same outcome.

New actions, new outcome.

Clearly, we have all

had too much to drink.

This is illegal. We can all get

fired, and we can go to jail.

Or we could come to the aid of

the sweetest...

and most romantically

deserving human being alive...

and help her find the truest

and fastest love of her life.

We have thirty days

and 30,000 miles.

To be brought up on federal charges.

To find me a husband.

I don't understand why you guys

think this is a good idea.

It's the 21st century.

You don't need a man to define you.

Everyone I know

is getting married and having kids.

So what?

I want someone to love me, too.

Someone who thinks I'm the best.

Who only sees me in the room.

I know it might sound corny

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