Balls Out Page #7

Okay, when we get out of the van,

nobody goes to the bathroom, nobody talks.

We go straight into our pattern. Got it?

Let these babies fly during our pattern.

When you all get out, leave the doors open.

Let's see if this baby rocks.

Damn it, Coach P! Get them up! Up!

Attaboy, Coach.

That's what I'm talking about.

Up top, Cappy!

How long before you do

one of my boys' rackets?

Got this one, plus two more I'm doing

for Tommy Tremble,

so I'd say about an hour.

These don't have any broken strings.

For big tournaments,

Tommy likes fresh strings each morning.

- F***ing prima donna.

- Mom's kind of hot.

Yes!

Great day today, guys.

Good match, Chongers.

I'll see you at home, Maricar.

Nice job, Paul.

Hey, Cappy, hold up a minute.

We surprised a lot of people today.

But it's day two that counts.

You beat Tommy, and tomorrow

we make Coach T.'s dream a reality.

Hey, Coach? Why do you respect

Coach Tuttle so much?

I mean, I think he was a nice guy

and everything,

but you seem to really look up to him.

Cappy, if God didn't exist,

would you invent him?

I'm not sure. Why?

Never mind. Doesn't matter. God does exist.

And Coach Tuttle really was a good man.

Maybe the best.

You're gonna do great tomorrow.

Coach, will you run them through

warm-ups? I gotta use the head.

Yeah, okay.

Okay, boys. Don't forget your tennis rackets.

Or your balls. Tennis balls.

- Hey, old timer, how you doing?

- Pretty good.

Good.

Well, looks like you got your hands full

with Tommy's rackets already.

Yeah.

We're warming up next to Southpoint.

If you want, I can drop it off for you.

- Sure. Saves me a trip.

- Good.

Hey, so the guys are outside warming up.

They seem pretty confident.

I got to tell you, Mike is really...

Hey, are those Tommy's rackets?

I need you to guard the door

for two minutes,

don't let anybody in.

- What's going on?

- Jesus, Steve! Listen!

- Watch the f***ing door!

- What are you doing with those rackets?

Forget about the f***ing rackets,

and for once this season, step up

and make a tangible f***ing contribution!

Can you do that?

Tangible contribution?

Gary, what's happening here?

Brian saw you in the locker room

shaving my strings, Gary!

You're a f***ing cheater, man!

I didn't shave your strings!

Okay, so I shaved a few strings.

- F***ing cheater, man!

- F***ing cheater, man!

- The hell were you doing in there, man?

- Nothing.

- But Tommy's rackets...

- Hey.

Relax. I didn't do anything to the rackets.

I just needed to clear my head.

I couldn't find Tommy anywhere.

Yeah, I figured.

He was in here looking for his rackets.

You must have just missed him.

Well, I'll just leave his sticks here, then.

Sorry about that.

Nice young man.

I can't believe Nibby and Jones.

They didn't shy away once!

Good luck today, Mike!

Gracias.

Okay. Get your mind off of

se? Orita Tight-ass and stay focused.

- I am focused.

- Good.

- I bet she's got puffy nipples.

- What's that?

- Nothing.

- Coach?

- Do you think I can win?

- Of course I do.

No, I mean do you really think it?

It's just... I don't know.

Look at me, Cappy.

Don't you f***ing worry about what I think,

or your dad thinks,

or Tommy little-peckerwood Tremble thinks.

Worry about how deep you're gonna dig.

Worry about not leaving that goddamn court

until you've donated a pint

of AB f***ing Negative

to the green f***ing pavement out there!

Whether you can win or not.

Worry about that when it's over.

- Got it?

- Yeah. Thanks, Coach.

He's never gonna win.

Gentlemen. Two out of three sets.

If you split the first two, you'll receive

a 15-minute break before the final set.

This match will determine

which team takes home the state title.

- Any questions?

- No.

Okay. Begin!

Let's go, Tommy!

Settle down.

Take it to him, Mike!

Deuce.

- Sweet!

- Yeah!

- Out!

- What? It was on the line!

The call stands.

Too close to overrule. Advantage Tremble.

Jesus Christ, Ump!

Whose dick do we have to suck

to get some f***ing calls around here?

That's a warning, Coach.

Next rule violation will be a point penalty.

Easy, big fellow. Easy.

Quiet down, please.

Quiet, please. Thank you.

That's it, Cappy! No free points!

Not today! No free points!

Game Tremble.

The score for first set tie-breaker

is now five serving five.

Sh*t! What the f***?

Have some respect for the game, please!

Warning, Southpoint.

Next violation will be a point penalty.

Cappy!

Stand inside the service box for the return.

His serve will hit my feet!

No way. It's set point.

Am I the f***ing coach of this team or not?

Do it!

Go for it, Tommy!

Five serving six. Set point, West.

Out!

Damn it, Tommy! Don't kill it! Just get it in!

Second service.

Yes!

First set goes to Lincoln West.

Game Tremble.

Southpoint leads four games to one.

Come on, keep that leg loose, Cappy!

Set point, Southpoint.

Second set goes to Tremble.

Players, you've got 15 minutes

before the final set.

Hey!

What the hell happened out there?

- His leg's cramping.

- Looks more like menstrual cramps!

Let's stay positive!

Mike's gonna get this bastard in the third.

You actually think he can beat Tommy

after shitting all over the court

the whole second set?

Nobody's shitting on anybody's courts!

I don't know what match you were watching,

- but from where I was standing, it sure...

- Hey!

I'm about to play the biggest set of tennis

of my whole f***ing life.

Is that okay with you, Dad?

Or would you like me to run away

like you do when things get tough?

Pretty impressive back there, Cappy.

I don't think I could have said that

to my dad.

- Thanks, Coach.

- It's no good. Your legs are burning up.

We've got to get your core body temp down.

- Take your clothes off.

- What?

Come on! Hurry! We only have

a few minutes. You need a cold shower.

- No, no, I don't...

- No time to argue.

- Okay! Okay, I'll do it.

- Hurry!

You get back out there, you get to the net

every point. Chip and charge.

You don't have the legs

to work the baseline.

- Okay.

- Constant pressure.

Come in tight and cut off his angles.

Make him play our game.

Show him how the big boys play hardball.

Okay.

Cappy, you pull this off,

I'll pay Steffi Nash to let you do her

up the poo.

That's enough. We're late.

- Cappy!

- Jesus, Coach!

You can't put those sweaty clothes back on.

They're weighing you down.

- Wear mine.

- Oh, no. No, no, Coach!

- Please, don't make me do that.

- Don't make it weird, Cappy.

This is state, God damn it!

You need fresh clothes! Put them on!

- Those aren't fresh!

- They're fine! Let's go!

Put them on.

Oh, God.

Game, West.

Game, Southpoint.

Sh*t! Jenny, we need a trainer!

- How long for an injury time-out?

- Three minutes.

If your player cannot continue, it's a default.

- Is he still locked up?

- Yeah, he is.

Sh*t!

God damn it! We got a man down out there

and you guys are just sitting around

tossing each other's salads?

- What should we do?

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