Bandits Page #7

- You, are one lucky fellow.

- I am?

I got the last room in town.

Oh, but that won't do.

I need two rooms.

No. No such thing.

You see all those cars out there?

It's a Debbie Day

cosmetic convention.

I've never seen so much pink

in my god-damn life.

It's a hell of a thing

to do to an automobile.

Right. I don't care what it is.

I have to have two rooms.

Do you want the room, or not?

Are you asleep?

No. This weeble-wobble song or whatever

it is, just scares me half to death.

You?

I've been thinking where Joe was.

Is.

Joe pretty much just likes to have a

good time and a...

...a good time, basically.

Alone?

Well, you know Joe.

Cultural events, museums,

that kind of things.

He's a very delicated traveller.

He's not alone.

My husband is a terrible kisser.

That's random.

Like how? What do you mean?

Oh. The first time,

he took me to a movie...

...well, he brought me home...

...and I'm standing at the front door,

you know, waiting for the inevitable...

...and... he looms.

I'm saying:
"OK, that's about time"

and then he...

He just comes at me with his mouth

he just opened so...

Oh, God! That was really wide!

No. It's not funny.

No. I... I actually...

I tried to adjust to the kiss size.

It was huge. And I dislocated my jaw.

It still clicks.

You can't hear that?

Kinda.

Can I hear it once?

It's really loud.

Oh, yeah, baby!

That's, I mean, you know, it's loud.

He dislocated my jaw

and I still married him.

Oh, I don't know

the first thing about love.

Oh, I know I look like I do,

but...

...I don't.

Not really.

Love is a wish

that hides in your heart...

...and nobody knows about it

but you.

Love is blinding...

...an eternity in a single moment...

...a religion worth dying for.

Well, it's also time consuming.

And, you know, a pain in the ass, and a

hole in the heart and that sort of thing.

Not necessarily in that order, but

I'd like to think it is that order, really.

Oh! Bless you!

Gesundheit!

Many happy returns!

Oh, gosh!

Oh, this is gonna be one of those.

Really?

Do you...?

Hey, hey!

Do you want me...

Do you want me to scare you?

No. That's for... Isn't that for...

There's someth...

Oh, no, no. Hah!

- No! Don't! That's not...

- OK...

Now, don't frightened!

What are you doing to me?

- I'm just trying to block the flow!

- You're not helping!

Oh! Gees!

I'm sorry.

Did I scare you?

I'm sorry.

A little bit hard there but...

...you're dribbling a bit

but you're not sneezing.

I have food allergies.

Tell me about it.

And... and another phobias.

Like what?

Like descrophobia...

which is like...

What's that?

Well, I was in high school...

...It's the fear of getting smaller.

I lost two inches in six months.

I mean, that's quite significant...

Terry, you're still here.

And antique furniture

scare me half to death.

What's that called?

I don't think there's a name for it.

I believe I'm the only one.

Oh, no, no, no! Anything before 1950

just gives me the heebie-jeebies.

Benjamin Disraeli's hair...

...there's a problem with that.

I'm afraid of Charles Loughton,

actually.

Black and white movies.

Black and white movies?

I just can't eat in front of them.

Oh, my God! I can't either!

You know what?

I think it's better to feel too much

than to feel too little.

I never thought of it that way, but...

Oh, no! You're blinking again.

- That's just a ventromedial anomaly.

- Can I just...

May be right. Is that OK?

You see, there's this neural factory

between the eyes...

Between the eyes?

It's right in there.

Exactly.

Yeah, I can f... feel it.

That kind of things.

You know, outgoing messages

to the nervous system.

That kind of thing.

It's a...

...embarrassment, fear...

It's... big, you know.

...love and hate.

That's a biggie.

Oh, my God!

There's this scientist, in London,

who used electric shocks...

...to prove that

cockroaches have feelings.

Terry, you're not a cockroach.

You're more like a...

... more like a beaver.

A beaver?

In a good way.

A cute one.

I feel like a cockroach.

I mean, that's assuming that cockroaches

are capable of making mistakes...

...and blow apart the world

they live in.

Well, if you're a cockroach

what does that make me?

Dangerous.

They're here.

We have been wondering

about you two, guys.

We were wondering...

...and wondering, and wondering.

Hey, Joe!

Hi.

Welcome back.

Missed you.

Yeah.

We missed you, too.

Joe, can I talk to you,

for a minute, in private?

Be right back.

'Cause God knows, it was a shock

to me.

It was more like a... like a revelation

of some kind. And yet shocking.

Like a shocking revelation.

I was right about Kate's kisses,

wasn't I?

Let me keep her. OK?

I mean, even if you kill me...

...I don't give sh*t.

I just want to know what it feels like to

have her to myself, before I die. OK?

I'm not gonna do that!

I can't do that!

Why, Joe?

I mean, remember,

this is like a hobby to you.

It happens to you all the time.

It sort of... makes you...

...makes you feel

like a million bucks.

No way!

But it never happens for me!

Not once, Joe!

Not once does this ever

happen for me.

Do you understand

the significance of that?

Yeah.

You do?

So, we agree?

Let Kate choose, right?

No, no, no! Of course not!

That's a terrible idea!

It's a horrible idea!

What's wrong with it?

Because she'll choose you.

Are you boys sure

you don't wanna kick my tires first?

We could all wrestle.

Oh, that's... yeah!?

Or, I don't know. Flip a coin?

You know, for this is best 4 out of 7...

Unless you think that these are

incredibly shallow solutions...

...to a complicated problem that may

require a little delicacy and understanding?

Yeah, that... the last part.

Maybe you're right, Kate.

You should choose.

So, choose.

What's it gonna be?

Is it gonna be mister "action figure",

hero guy here...

...or brains, and sensitivity,

and a lot of other things I can name.

So, in other words, me or that guy?

Yeah.

Good looking, or itchy?

What if I don't want to?

Don't wanna what?

Choose.

But you have to choose.

What are you talking about?

Exactly that's the point, right?

I know this is confusing.

I mean, believe me...

...I'm a little confused myself.

You stole my girl?

You take her away for two weeks and

you brainwashed her. Brainwashed.

I'm not stolen.

Would you stop it?

Stop it! Excuse me!

Would you stop this?

You're getting his coat dirty!

Coat?

I mean, look at me!

Hello?

Would you look at me,

just for a second?

I ran away with bank robbers.

Now, that's a... that's a strange choice but

that's understandable giving my state my mind.

But then, what did I do?

I sleep with bank robber no. 1.

Because he's strong...

...and he's handsome

and he knows what he wants.

Here you go. Makes sense for me.

But, I don't stop there.

Oh, no! Not this little red head!

Due to circumstances beyond the

boundaries of any life I ever known...

...I sleep with bank robber no. 2...

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