Bandits Page #9

Synopsis: Two convicts, one charismatic (Willis) and the other a hypochondriac (Thornton), break out of prison and immediately start a bank robbing spree, kidnapping bank managers, spending the night with their families, then going with the managers in the morning to rob the banks. Using a dim-witted stunt man as their getaway driver and lookout, the three successfully pull off several jobs (even gaining the attention of a television show about American criminals), and become known as "The Sleepover Bandits." Things are going great until the bank managers begin to realize that the robbers are non-violent and therefore no threat to them or their employees, changing the game for the Bandits. To add to the complications, a bored & unhappy housewife (Blanchett) ends up in the hands of the criminals, and begins to have romantic feelings for both Willis and Thornton, causing a sticky love triangle.
Genre: Comedy, Crime, Drama
Director(s): Barry Levinson
Production: MGM Pictures
  Nominated for 2 Golden Globes. Another 4 wins & 5 nominations.
 
IMDB:
6.5
Metacritic:
60
Rotten Tomatoes:
64%
PG-13
Year:
2001
123 min
$41,176,738
Website
1,429 Views


It's not that difficult.

You walk in, you ask for the money,

you walk out.

Listen! I don't wanna rush you! But this would

probably be a good time to make your getaway.

Let's go! Come on!

Get away! Get away!

Let's go! Let's go! Put that down!

Come on! Go!

We're sorry! It's only cash...

Thank you!

Drive carefully!

Come on, let's go!

Dispatch! This is Lincoln 6!

We have an armed robber...

Is it not enough that every cop

in the Western States...

...along with every mouth breathing

reporter is on our ass?

You have to sabotage us

from within?

I didn't do it on purpose.

That's not the point.

The point is you're dangerous

and you're dense and you're stupid!

You're fired!

No way!

I quit!

- Harvey.

- Call it what you want!

He's right, you know?

I'm not a bank robber.

I'm a stunt man.

Besides, you don't need me!

You got Kate!

Are you sure?

Yeah...

I quit.

You could have put us back in jail,

Harvey!

I'm sorry, Joe!

Maybe I'll see you guys in Mexico.

Nice car.

It's not mine. I stole it.

What are you gonna do now?

Drive to Hollywood.

Yeah? Why?

I'm a stunt man.

Do you wanna come with me?

No.

- Hey, Terry?

- Yeah.

Remember what I told you about my

brother? The one with a brain tumor?

...who was always smelling

burning feathers?

It's emblazoned on my brain forever.

You know, he never quit.

Never gave up trying

right to the very end.

Hey, Joe!

I know just how he feels.

Good night, Joe.

You guys, you guys...

...I mean you've been together for

quite a while.

Do you consider yourselves

good friends, still?

Oh sure. Absolutely.

People say there's no honor

among thieves.

- Totally wrong, right Joe?

- Totally wrong!

Darren, it's like...

Lewis and Clark.

You got Lewis...

...he's stuck somewhere out there

in Africa...

...lost in the African wilderness.

And Clark...

Al Clark, I think his name was...

...he drops what he's doing

and goes to find him!

He goes to find Lewis.

And you know why?

Because of friendship. That's why!

For God's sake, Joe...

That was Stanley and Livingston.

Not Lewis and Clark.

You know, Lewis and Clark tried to find

the North-West passage...

...with the help of this statuesque

Indian maiden.

- But they were friends, OK?

- Of course they were.

He was asking us about friendship.

You always got to correct me.

I'm sorry. You're right.

You're up!

I couldn't sleep.

I was thinking maybe that you and I

could go to this place...

Where's Joe?

He's asleep.

Sound asleep.

- Terry?

- He is. He's sound asleep.

If we could maybe come down to

this... bar down here...

...and maybe just sit there and have a

nightcap or something.

It's a little late, don't you think?

Oh, no! Gosh! Not at all!

He'll live. You know?

Act like it's the last most important

thing you'll ever do in your life.

Please?

- All right. I'll just get a coat.

- OK.

I love this song.

Actually, I never heard it before.

I have to press A1 on these things.

It's an obsessive-compulsive thing.

It's a pretty song, though.

I played it 6 times.

Just run away with me, Kate, please!

Just get in the car and we'll just

drive, and drive, and drive...

And then we'll stop at the perfect place, and

we'll stay there for as long as we want to...

...and then we'll get back in the car,

and then we'll drive, and drive...

...we'll find another perfect place.

I'm just...

...this is kind of sudden.

Isn't it?

This is crazy.

Well, not to me, it isn't.

I need a whisky.

Can I have a whisky, please?

Vodka, please, and a glass of milk.

Could you warm the milk?

I got a right side problem

of some sort.

God, I hope

I don't have a brain tumor.

Hi, Terry.

How is it going?

Hi, Joe.

What's going on?

Not much. Just...

You're here by yourself?

You're OK?

I'm having trouble

feeling my lips a little.

- They're not numb, are they?

- A little bit numb.

Oh, boy!

- Joe!

- Hi.

I thought you were asleep.

Yeah. I was asleep.

He woke up.

Anybody wanna dance?

No. I don't think so.

- Why don't you dance with Kate?

- No. Not me.

No, go ahead.

I'm not really a dancer, you know.

Come on, you're a big dancer.

- Dance with her.

- I don't feel my arm.

I'd rather not, Kate.

Kate's got her dancing clothes on.

I just wanna sit...

Come on, get over there...

You're all right?

You kids, have fun.

- Terry, you're odd.

- No. Just fine.

You're kind of tilt?

Yeah, well just a momentary...

Actually, I'm very, very

light on my feet.

- Yeah?

- Oh, yeah.

I'm a... pretty good dancer.

Looking good, Terry.

That's a pretty song.

Come on, dance with me, Kate.

Oh! Maybe you should do

us some dinner.

- Happy?

- What, honey?

Mind if I cut in?

Yeah, sure.

I've lost the beat.

Don't you think we should...

No, no! He'll be fine.

Just take a little rest.

You guys go right ahead...

Dance with me.

Run away with me, Kate.

We can get in the car and just drive,

and drive, and drive.

Hm? That is a great idea.

What about Mexico?

Mexico will wait.

What about Terry?

Terry will just have to wait, too.

I am so confused.

In what way?

In every possible way.

Just come on outside with me

for a minute. Come on.

I've got a hot milk.

What?

I've got Terry some hot milk.

I'll just get him a hot milk.

I'll go check on Terry.

You're all right?

I've got you some milk.

Will help you sleep.

I'm lactose intolerant.

You're what?

Lactose intolerant.

You're lactose intolerant?

Severe diarrhea.

Severe diarr...

Right.

I'll just be outside,

here on the porch.

Do you smell burning feathers?

Burning feathers?

Joe's older brother, Albert.

He smelled burning feathers.

He had a brain tumor.

Joe doesn't have an older brother.

I have no right side.

No right side?

Is that what Joe told you?

Can you feel this?

Oh! Yes, I feel that!

It hurt.

Joe does not have a brother?

- No brother.

- Albert?

No Albert.

So the burning feathers was a lie.

You're sure?

Positive.

Where is Joe?

Outside.

Joe, I've been thinking.

Yeah, me too.

I've been thinking that I don't have a

brain tumor because you never had a brother.

And I can walk, too.

Did you notice that, Joe?

Look at me. I'm walking.

I'm walking around you.

You see?

Never cheat a pal!

Never cheat a pal.

- Isn't that what you always said?

- You cheated me first!

I did not! Did not!

You cheated me first!

- Yes, you did!

- Bullshit!

What about Paradise?

I don't give a damn about Paradise.

- I'm out of here.

- Well, guess what? Me, too.

Ok? Happy?

You won't make it a week without me

and you know it.

I will with Kate.

Over my dead body!

That hurt! Shithead!

You bit me!

Stop it!

You hit me!

Just stop it!?

Oh, God. This is over!

Not till somebody is

either dead or in a coma.

And I hope it's him!

No, I'm talking about us.

I won't let you do this to each other.

I just... I can't.

I'd rather see you in prison.

At least there you'll be safe

from each other.

And yes, I'm aware that this is

entirely my own fault.

Rate this script:5.0 / 1 vote

Harley Peyton

Harley Peyton is an American television producer and writer. He worked in both capacities on Twin Peaks and was nominated for an Emmy Award for his writing on the series. He went to Harvard and Stanford. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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