Barbershop: The Next Cut Page #8

they aren't moving for us.

I mean, if we don't

do something,

no one's gonna save

our community.

We gotta take

our streets back.

Action, LeShawn!

Stacia!

Sorry, action, Stacia!

Stop the violence, y'all!

Exactly. Calvin's Shop.

That's what I'm talking about!

Come on, man!

You watch

that booty shaking!

-Calvin's Shop...

-Listen, guys!

We know you don't

care about your community,

but you gotta care about this.

Please come down

to Calvin's Shop tonight

for the community summit,

because dreams apparently

are being deferred

even as we speak.

Yeah!

I think we got it.

Okay.

Move!

Get it! Get it!

Get it! Get it!

You can look,

but do not touch.

Look back at it.

-You like that?

-I'm good.

We're out in the street,

you know.

This isn't the privacy

of your own bedroom.

Yeah, girl!

We wanna thank

y'all for being here.

There's still seats

available if you need a seat.

It's important

that we all are here

because this is our community.

And it's up to us

to change it,

so, we wanna hear y'all ideas.

I was thinking more like

a benefit concert.

You know,

something for the kids.

I think we should just

call up Kanye

and have him come on out

and perform.

Yes!

He ain't coming around y'all

broke negroes.

Are you serious right now?

Look, Kanye a Kardashian now.

He wears dresses now.

I seen him on TV,

he had a skirt on.

His knees were showing.

All right, all right,

all right. Relax!

What about R. Kelly?

What?

R. Kelly? For a kids benefit?

Kelly love the kids.

Yeah, he can teach them

how to make home movies.

No, he didn't.

All right, already!

Leave him alone!

Do you realize

how much good quality

R&B we have missed out on,

because y'all keep bringing up

that same old bull?

-Da...

-The last albums he made,

Them albums was made

out of pure stress.

Does anybody else

have any other ideas?

I'd like to say something.

Look, Eddie, you once said

that the barbershop is the

pillar of the neighborhood.

Damn right!

So we use that, right?

We turn the shop into our

safe space for the weekend.

All right? Neutral grounds

where both sides

can come together peacefully.

I like that.

Yeah.

Turn this place

into Switzerland.

Exactly!

Ain't no way in hell

the South Side

is ever going to resemble

any parts of Switzerland.

I don't even know

no black Swiss.

I mean, Swizz Beatz.

Is he black?

Or is he white?

You know,

he is a little beige.

He might be Swiss. I mean...

He named himself to it.

So, he's Swiss. He's Swiss.

Can we get back to it?

We could try to get

both sides to come together

and agree to a ceasefire.

And then we can

get the Chicago celebs

to tweet about it

and talk about it.

Get them to support.

That's good, Jerrod.

You know what, he's right.

That means that we have

to give them something to see.

Yeah, maybe we could

just give away free gifts.

Like a radio promotion.

Yes!

And who's supposed to pay

for these free gifts?

Draya is right, we need some

incentive to bring people out.

I don't want to state

the obvious here,

but this is a barbershop.

We could just do what

we already do. For free.

Free cuts the whole weekend?

You know how much money

we pull in on Saturday alone?

Do you know how much

we're gonna lose

if that enclosure happens?

It's a great idea, Calvin.

It is.

It is a great idea.

Yeah, a 48-hour ceasefire,

with unlimited free cuts

and styling.

I mean, come on,

who could turn that down?

I... I propose

that Gangsta Grub

be the official

caterer for this.

Yeah, I bet you would.

Hell, yeah, dude!

You know how much money

I can make out

on these streets

in a 48-hour spa...

To donate

to the Boys and Girls Club!

That's R. Kelly's favorite.

Listen here, Bollyhood!

Leave Kels alone,

God damn it,

I say, God damn it,

leave Kels alone!

Sorry about that, go ahead.

Then I think

that we have a plan!

Hold up, hold up.

We've got one little problem.

Y'all know to have

a ceasefire,

we got to get the shot callers

to call a truce.

Y'all know what happened

the last time

we got Marquis

and Jay up in here.

It was damn near

World War III.

Yeah.

Yeah.

But you know what?

What if we made

that mix-up happen again?

This is just

a terrible idea.

Yeah.

"Let's cause a little mix-up.

"Let's make that mix-up

happen again."

That was the dumbest thing

you ever said.

Do you know

who these people are?

They are murderers.

They don't work at the grocery

store, and if they did,

they would be butchers.

Quiet!

Thank God you wore

a G-Unit bulletproof vest.

Yeah, it worked for 50!

No, it didn't, actually.

He got shot in the face!

He got shot in the face?

Draya!

What's up, baby girl?

Hold up, Calvin!

What's going on in here?

Is this a set-up?

Listen to me.

Jay! Jay!

No, stop!

Hold on,

hold on, hold on.

Hold on!

Hold on! Wait a minute!

I wish you would, boy!

Listen! Now, I've been

knowing you guys

for about 20 years, man.

My father used to cut

both of your heads!

Come on, bruh.

Out of respect for him and

the shop, man, hear us out.

We're asking y'all

for ten minutes.

That's all we

asking for, bruh.

I need more time, God.

I don't wanna die a virgin.

Come on, Jason.

Come on, G. Come on, man.

Let's do this, man.

Have a seat.

We all good. Come on, big boy.

Sit on down for a second.

Get on.

Are we good?

Hey, Rev.

15 fish dinners

for bingo night?

Hell, yeah!

I mean, praise God!

How about some

sweet potato pie? All right.

All right! What's cooking?

Daddy's home!

J.D., don't come up in here

with all that sh*t today,

okay?

We don't have time

for that sh*t.

-Okay?

-Mabel.

What did I ask you to do?

More of this. More parsley.

Okay? You?

You better hurry it up!

Okay, I don't even know why he

got a goddamn hairnet on.

He don't even have no hair.

You guys are tripping!

-That's good.

-Lord have mercy.

More flour. Put some more.

Don't be scared.

You didn't buy it!

It's gotta be

out of here by 2:00.

You have a break yet?

Knead it, knead it! Knead it

like you knead a b*tch's ass.

Okay?

-Come on!

-Mabel.

What happened to us

giving them a break?

For what?

We've got to keep

the talent healthy.

Negro, I'm the talent.

You got me twisted on there,

talking about the talent.

You ain't doing sh*t out there

worth a damn...

You may be the talent,

but I'm the face.

All right?

Look, Nana...

We don't want this gravy train

to stop flowing anytime soon.

Look at that?

That's just from this morning.

Talent! You all take five.

Go.

Talent, take six.

I know it seems like a lot.

But we just asking

for two days.

Two days and no bloodshed.

Exactly, gentlemen.

Not to oversell it,

but what's gonna happen is,

you guys go home

for the weekend,

and all your friends on Friday

will still be alive

come Monday morning.

It's not a bad deal.

Why'd I do that?

Look, all we trying to say,

man, is,

we got sons,

I know y'all got kids,

and we just

trying to make sure

our kids get to their

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