Barfly Page #2

of smokes. Merrit's.

- Care for a couple of cigars?

- Yeah.

Couple of good cigars.

And charge it to Rob Revans.

Wanda, I'm gonna have to call Willbur for his ok.

Go ahead.

Willbur. Yeah, Wanda has arrived, she's got some stuff.

Her total is 23.8. Yeah. Bottles of scotch. Sixpack of beer.

How did your face get so beat up?

You don't mind, do you?

I think it looks beautiful.

Hey, you little pricks.

Pardon me, Willbur.

Willbur wants to know if your're coming over.

Yeah, she is.

It's ok wanda.

Grab the stuff and follow me. We'll try my place.

Goddamn it!

My place is next, I'm up on the third floor.

Don't worry, there is an elevator.

I love corn.

- I'm gonna pick some corn.

- Hey wait, you can't go up there, that's on the open. You'll be seen.

I don't care, I love corn.

I'm gonna pick some corn.

hey. what are you doing?

Hey, you're drunk. Baby, look at those ears, they're still young.

They're green, you can't eat that stuff.

Who's Wilbur? Is he your pimp?

I'm no hooker, I don't have a pimp.

Who's the guy?

Wilbur? Just an old guy who cares for me.

Oh sh*t! It's the cops.

Let's go. Which way?

Go. Quick. Head for the basement. There.

Goddamn!

Stop! Police! Stay right where you are.

Here!

- Which way?

- This way.

If the elevator isn't at the bottom,

we're damned.

Stop or we'll fire!

Hit quickly the three button!

Ah, sh*t! Get this f***ing thing stop.

Leave the door open.

? ?

- Don't make a sound

- Hey, take your shoes of.

- I really wanna get those f***ers.

- And you see that woman? She really has great legs.

Have they left?

Let's not take a chance.

Let's be quiet for the rest of the night.

They might be camped down there.

I guess you'll have to stay the night.

Don't you hate cops?

No, but I seem to feel better when

they're not around.

I sure want to thank you for

your hospitality.

Just one thing.

I want never fall in love.

I don't wanna go through that. I can't.

Don't worry. Nobody's ever loved me yet.

Oh sh*t. I told you that stuff is green.

Look at it.

That never works.

? ?

Hey stop it. shhh. hey, be quiet.

The cops might be still out there.

Nothing ever works allright in this life.

It's allright.

- Hey, what the hell was that?

- Same old thing, only it's a little better than TV.

There you go lover.

- Lover?

- Don't you remember?

Aah, but what's this?

? ?key.

? ?better than one.

? ? thing

Yeah?

What you're good at?

Juicy. (phone rings)

Yeah? Oh.

Wilbur. I.. geez. I couldn't make

it over last night.

I got ? ?. I went to bed.

Tonight?

Well, geez, I don't know. Uhm.

Let me think about it.

Helloo. Yeah.

Hey Willbur, how're you doing?

Hey, listen Willbur, you'll call here again, I'm gonna come over.

I'm gonna do a tapdance on your skull.

Listen, Willbur be very carefull. Yeah, he's a very jealous man, he's a wrestler.

He drinks beer, sits around all day, farts, lifts weights.

He hung up.

Aaaaah. We really cut off a good source of

supply there, Mr. von Builderass

von Builderass? What's that?

It's the way you walk across the room, when you act.

Yeah, you're the damndest barfly I've ever seen.

You act like some real blue blood, a royalty.

I wasn't aware of that. Thank you.

- Noticed, that you're class too, baby.

- All right.

I gotta tell you something.

If a man came by with a fifth of whiskey,

I'm afraid I'd go with him.

I could get a lot of booze out of Willbur.

I'm giving up too much.

- I don't know about the next.

- Hey, I'm the next.

- I'll suply the booze.

- How?

I'll get a job.

(laughter)

What happened to you along the way?

You're weird.

By the way. The first thing I noticed

about you, were your legs.

Really?

I guess I got lucky with legs.

It's the brain I was shorter though.

Oh, yeah. Hey.

I could look at a woman's legs for hours.

I've got nothin', but time.

- ? ?crazy.

- That's crazy.

I dunno.

We're all in some kind of hell.

And the madhouse is the only place,

where people know they're in hell.

I don't know, I'm just a crazy beer

drinking wrestler. Let's fart.

You ass. You've got anything to

pick up at your place?

Yeah, some rags and a radio.

Hey, we don't need a moving wan.

Ah, let's go.

But I wanna make myself look good.

Hey Jim, can you hold this stuff

for me for a while?

Yeah, sure.

Last time I saw you, you've got nothing

neither a woman nor a radio.

Hey, Jim. I'm used to radios.

Wanda, this is Jim. Jim, this is Wanda.

- Hi.

- Hi. Me beer.

Yeah, likewise.

Hey Jim, can you cash this check for me?

I signed him.

Hey, what's this?

You're not gonna believe this,

but that's an income tax refund.

I found it in the mailbox of the old place.

You mean, you worked last year? Six month in a toy factory.

You don't know how men suffer for children.

Hey, Henry. You're gonna buy one or be one.

Hey, I'm gonna be one. Give her a beer.

- Yes, sir?

- Shot of bark whiskey, please.

- Hey, old timer. This one's on the house.

- I thank you.

Thanx, Jim.

? ?Take this.This covers the rent,

I'll keep the rest.

You trust me?

Why not? It's easier that way.

Oh, look at this. Schifern Incorporated

- labourer, no experience.

Oh, look at this. Shifrin Incorporated

- labourer, no experience.

Hey, that's me.

I'm gonna run down there,

I'm gonna hop on the pass.

Henry, are you losing what's

left of your goddamned mind?

You mean, you gonna leave me here all alone?

All alone? Hey baby, there's Jim,

there is Lilly. Come on.

What are you doing with a woman, Henry?

Lilly, sometimes I think you could use one too.

Four whiskeys.

Look Hank, why don't you go tomorrow.

We just met.

When you ran off like this,

I feel you're trying to get away from me.

Hey, baby. I'm doing this for us.

We're be able to drink with class.

We don't have to be barflies,

returned from the grave.

- Thank you, bartender.

- Ok, oldtimer.

Hey, he didn't pay.

He already paid.

Oh, god, I will get a job.

Yeah, hey. To the working class. Right.

- To us.

- To us. With gods help.

No chance. Even the devil wouldn't have you.

Hey, what's your problem?

Hey, you got any of those little

mints for breath?

Oh yeah. Baby.

Excuse me, who are you?

Hmm, the eternal question.

The eternal answer: I don't know.

- How do you explain this recent unemployment record?

- Hey, anybody didn't get a job.

- Takes some man to make you a hard worker.

- Excuse me?

Hey, I was just joking.

Everything here seems to read 'none'.

Hobbies none, religion none, education none.

Even where they'd ask you sex you put none.

Hardly none. Yeah, you can put down now.

So, how did the job go?

Oh, they gave me a hard on.

They couldn't use a hard on.

This is a world where everybody's

gotta do something.

You know somebody laid down this rule, that everybody's

gotta do something. They've gotta be something

You know, a dentist, a pilot, an arc,

a janitor, a preacher, all that.

Sometimes, I just get tired of thinking

of all the things that I don't wanna do.

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