Bark Ranger Page #5

Just let me concentrate

for a second!

Would you like me

to pull out the map

- of the hidden shack in the woods?

- Yeah, you do that.

- Show me the map!

- I don't have one.

We didn't create one.

Why would you bring it up then?

Don't answer that.

Hang on a sec,

that tree looks so familiar.

So we're heading the right way.

Okay-

(dim?)

C.

Attaboy. Hustle it.

Hustle it up!

Malayan.

- You gotta work out more.

- You could help me.

I am! I opened

the back of the thing.

Now I'm going to close it.

Em'?

Listen up, you fine folks

from the Cedar Creek area,

we got reports

of two fugitives on the loose...

One with some kind

of a silly, striped shirt,

and the other

with a velvet leisure suit.

Please report any signs of them

to the authorities.

Now back to our music.

- We better get going.

- No, not until nightfall.

And we get rid of the other van.

Someone could find it!

Way out here?

Not likely.

Did you hear that?

(mm

I'm gonna go pee!

What is this doing way out here?

I don't know.

Weird.

Should.

There you are.

So how far have we come

since we left the main path?

I think we're about...

right here.

Hmm.

This isn't right.

According to this, the path

to the gold claim starts below here.

- So?

- So the path we're on winds down.

- This doesn't wind.

- Let me see.

Then it starts...

down there.

- Oh yeah.

- I think.

Let's.

Ranger.

Did you hear that?

We gotta follow them.

Are you nuts?

Let's get outta here.

- We'll make a run for the border.

- Which border?

Whichever one we hit first.

I hope it's Hawaii.

If they find out and report

that we're driving

a stolen truck

- full of stolen gold to the...

- Cops.

You know what that could mean?

They'd get an award

from City Hall?

No, you giant numbskull!

It means we lose everything!

I did not eat charred squirrel,

sleep on the floor,

and wipe my butt

with itchy leaves

to walk away with nothing!

Those leaves were pretty itchy.

I say we follow them,

steal this gold

they're talking about.

But wait, we already have gold.

This way we get more!

Isn't that just greedy?

We're criminals, Carl!

Is there any kind other than greedy?

Gamma.

- Let's make a move!

- Yeah.

Go! Carl!

Blake, it's Hank

over at the Sheriff's office.

Hey, what's up, Hank?

We got a positive print ID

on the Festrunk brothers.

They still in the area?

Looks like it.

We got all available units on this,

but not enough

to cover your area.

Want me to keep an eye on it?

It's a long shot,

but you never know.

Yeah, my boy and his friend are

in these woods. I'm on it!

"Hey, if you see the Festrunks,

ca" it in.

Do not approach.

Over.

Copy that.

Can't promise you that, Hank.

Go-

Good.

Remember when we had

to take school in prison?

Whoa, man!

Don't remind me.

That teacher was mean!

Yeah, they were hard on ya,

but firm but fair, you know.

Yeah, but the multiplication...

Wait a minute!

I smell something!

Something dangerous...

and stupid.

I think someone's following us.

And they're not being

very smart about it.

Wait a minute.

What if that van

belonged to the guys

who stole that gold?

Yeah, you're right.

We better get outta here!

Larry, don't move a muscle.

It's just a retriever.

A a.

What's it gonna do?

Lick us to death?

- Head for the cabin!

- You made him mad!

Move your feet, little brother!

Run, Carl!

Target acquired!

I'll never get that taste

out of my mouth!

No, wait!

Larry!

- Stupid dog!

- Uh-oh!

No, n0. no, no, no'.!

Ranger!

That was a gunshot.

What if they hurt Ranger?

Firing an antique firearm

without thoroughly checking

the barrel for obstructions?

Was a poor decision on my part

and for that, I apologize.

$331515?

$331515?

My bad.

Apology accepted.

Now we shall never

speak of this again, Carl.

Let's go get those kids!

Sure, I could go for some squid.

Yes!

Wait, did you hear that?

What's that sound?

- Ranger!

- You didn't think they got me, did ya?

Am I ever glad to see you, boy!

Hang on!

Your jacket smells

like that shack

those guys ran into.

Oh!

We should go!

He wants us to go back there?

- Ranger, the bad guys are over there.

- I think they went that way.

How do you know

they're this way?

- How do you know they're not?

- Larry...

Quick, follow me!

Ranger, wait up!

Ranger, why'd you want us

to come in here?

Oh, that's it!

Skeletor here smells like the jacket!

Not to mention old farts, yuck!

Is that who I think it is?

Van {fife

I think it's Uncle Philo.

I was right!

My nose rocks!

What's that?

Wait a sec.

It fits!

Can I see the map?

Yeah, sure.

See? We're at

the starting point.

This is where the gold claim is.

Kids!

Quick, let's head out the back!

Yeah, I'll just stay here

and hold 'em off.

Hey, why do I always

have to do the dirty work?

Kids? C'mon out.

We've got ice cream!

- Ice cream?

- I like ice cream.

Open up, kids.

Look, we can explain about

the SUV full of gold.

Carl! They don't know

the SUV is full of gold,

- but now they do.

- Forget what I said

and just come on out

for the ice cream.

They're not going for ice cream!

I got an idea!

Does it involve ice cream?

Come on.

Malayan.

Double!

Double knot it!

I know how to tie

two knots, thank you!

Come on, come on, come on!

- Go for launch!

- Going!

Watch this!

Carl!

Ow-

Carl! You okay, buddy?

Where'd it get ya?

In the toe!

Up you go, buddy.

Let's walk it off.

Oh no!

And now you're twins!

Oh, those toe-shots really hurt, Carl!

Boy, that sure takes

the will to live

right out of you, does it not?

- Yes they do, little brother.

- Let's go have a lie-down.

THEME:

Hey, the kids.

It hurts more when you walk.

We can use Philo's map,

and this should help us.

If you weren't from the country,

you wouldn't even know

how to read that map.

I guess you're right.

Wig may.

You know, these two monkeys

just don't know when to give up!

Carl, this way.

I heard them over here.

Larry, if we get in the trees,

we can get a good vantage point.

Carl, I'm stuck.

Carl, watch out!

Why did you throw that rock?

They hear the sound there,

we'll catch them coming around.

But I was there

when you threw it.

I gotta stop these guys

for good this time!

Okay, so it says

"Two step from one".

What does that mean?

Some kind of trick?

I guess Uncle Philo was worried

that someone would follow him

to the gold claim,

so maybe he set traps.

6333"'

Mummy?

It means two-step,

a dance you do in country music.

So why would we need

to two-step across there?

I don't know.

Shall we?

You're gonna have to lead,

'cause I don't two-step.

A:

Randy-am.

Where'd you learn it, city girl?

My mom loves country music.

Okay-

Quick-quick,

,,

slow-slow.

Turn here.

Now watch out for the bush.

Wait a minute.

RBI-Ii?

There's poison ivy

behind those bushes.

Uncle Philo must have

planted them there

to keep people off his trail.

Wow.

Let's keep going.

Rivers, hills,

two bumbling bad guys.

I'm gonna need

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes