Barnyard

Synopsis: When the farmer's away, all the animals play, and sing, and dance. Eventually, though, someone has to step in and run things, a responsibility that ends up going to Otis, a carefree cow.
Director(s): Steve Oedekerk
Production: Paramount Pictures
  3 nominations.
 
IMDB:
5.6
Metacritic:
42
Rotten Tomatoes:
22%
PG
Year:
2006
90 min
$72,601,713
Website
6,471 Views


All right, now.

I'm just heading to the fields, Duke.

I'll be back.

Clear!

Hey, Jerry, how's your mama?

Oh, yeah, it's a beautiful day.

Well, time to go to work.

Morning, Ben.

Thanks, Miles.

Let me know if you see Otis.

I'm staying out of that one.

- Okay, meeting's in five minutes.

- Okay, boss.

And I want everyone present.

Duke, have you seen Otis?

Nope, I haven't seen him.

Now where was I? Oh, oh, yeah.

The Jersey cows.

- Hey, Benny boy.

- Hi.

Hey, you seen Otis around?

Yes, I know exactly where Otis is.

You boys just steer clear

of Otis, all right?

Anything you say there, Ben.

We'll take a rain check

on the meeting, though.

- Yeah, rain check.

- Yeah, that. Check.

Hey.

Hey, I stepped in something.

What's on my hoof?

Etta?

- Otis?

- Oh, Ben, don't worry.

I'm sure he's heading

for the meeting right now.

Okay, let go. Let go. I got it.

- He said, "Let go."

- All right. He's okay.

All right, boys, here's the dealio.

It's a little creation of mine

I like to call "hill surfing."

- Watch your hoof.

- I'll spot you. I'll spot you.

Are you sure this is safe, Otis?

Peck! Come on, safe?

It's completely safe!

Since when isn't surfing safe?

He's got a point.

Okay, salt lick.

- It's go time!

- I'll try it. I'm down.

- Shotgun!

- Piggyback!

Never! You are all gonna die.

- Freddy?

- Nothing.

Wait a second. Photo op.

Okay, get together!

- Hey, Pig?

- What?

- Where'd you get that apple?

- This apple?

Oh, well,

it originally was attached to this.

Oh.

Uh, Otis?

What? What? What happened?

You know, it's times like this

when I really like to say...

Oh, caca!

You didn't do that!

Okay, okay! Look, this is bad enough!

Please, no one scream, "Tree!"

Tree!

Let's surf!

Hang on now, boys! Yeah! Hang hoof!

Otis? Are we supposed to

not yell, "Rock"?

We got a gusher!

Chicken farm!

Oh, I get it.

We can't yell "Tree" or "Rock",

but you get to yell, "Chicken farm."

Morning, everyone.

Okay, before we get started,

we have a birthday.

Everett the dog turned 13 today.

Boy, those dog years are rough, huh?

Also, remember it's...

Whassup?

Hey, Pop. Look, I know you're probably

looking for an explanation regarding

the exploded chicken on me,

and the sticky black... The oil stuff.

You are gonna love this! I'll tell you...

You the most, because

you, my friend, are a laugher.

And every...

- Didn't we all know that? Right?

- Just take a seat.

I'll... I'll take a seat.

Cool.

Oh, sorry about that.

Little tight.

As I was saying,

remember tonight at the hoedown,

it's free cider night.

Hey. Hey, Pig, uh,

I think there's a dead bee in your nostril.

That's not dead.

Okay, the first matter at hand:

Gray market goods.

As if I needed to say it again.

The purchase of human articles

from the gopher underground

is strictly prohibited.

Hello, Moto!

Hey, Otis.

Yeah, listen, I think your Nikes are...

Yeah, this really isn't the best time.

Hang on a second. Frankie, come here.

Frankie, come here.

No, I'm not... Come here. I'm not

gonna hurt you. Frankie, come here.

I told you never to do that again,

as long as I live!

Now, put it over there! Now!

Sorry about that. Frankie's out of hand.

Oh, the Nikes. What's the make again?

Yeah. Yeah, I really should go,

Mr. Jordan Air.

Wrong number.

Thank you.

Second item.

Lest I remind you, this is coyote season.

That's right.

These are ruthless

and desperate creatures.

Rule number one:
Stay in groups.

Rule number two:
Stay inside

the perimeter of the fence at all times.

And number three: Be careful out there.

Okay, let's hit it.

And leaving quickly. Walking out.

Walking out. Step, step, step wider...

Otis, why don't you stick around

for a minute?

He's scary. Bye.

Okay, Miles. What do you think?

I think you're lucky.

Most cows only have four hooves,

but you're gonna have an extra one

right up your...

Okay, that's nice. Dad!

- Sit.

- And I'm sitting.

Okay. First off,

I don't even want to know

who was on the other end of that phone.

- It was the gophers, wasn't it?

- Well, I...

No, I don't want to know.

Was it the gophers?

- Here's...

- No, don't. I don't want to know.

Why do you do this to me?

How do you think that makes me look?

So this... This is about you?

Where were you this morning, Otis?

I was having a little fun.

I mean, you should try it.

It starts with a smile,

then slowly builds and...

You promised to help me

with the brush around the fence.

You know it's coyote season.

Geez, coyotes. I don't get it.

What's the big deal? They're coyotes.

Them tiny, us big!

What are they gonna do?

You have a lot to learn.

And you know what,

I don't get the fence thing.

Really, it can't keep them out.

That fence defines our space.

And as long as I'm still kicking,

no animal will be harmed

inside that fence.

Okay, that's what you do. You.

Okay, if you're trying to groom me

to be the big leader,

just give it up. It's not me, Pop.

I mean, if I were in charge,

things would be different.

Every animal for himself.

That's the way it should be.

Otis.

A strong man stands up for himself.

A stronger man stands up for others.

Oh, shoot. You know, I forgot my pen.

- And your shift tonight?

- I'll be there.

Otis, you're gonna have to

grow up one day.

You'll never be happy

if you spend all your time goofing off.

No? Just watch me.

Manabunga!

Freddy, is this great or what?

Oh, yeah.

I could just eat your head right off!

I mean... You know, it's fun up here.

Pip?

I'd go with the wood on this one.

That's what I'm talking about!

Sweet mama!

Hey, there's animals over there!

Nice shoes.

Oh, doctor!

What a game we have here today!

Yeah!

He got the ball on the 30.

He's down on the 20. Lifts it up...

It's a touchdown!

Yeah!

Bacon!

Hamburger!

Chorizo!

- Filet!

- What are you doing?

I'm naming the kinds of cuts of meat

to the animal I'm jumping on.

Machaca!

Pork chops!

Rump roast!

You know what?

You don't need to be doing this.

Oaty-oaty! Oaty-oaty!

Hi, Oaty.

Hey, Maddie. Looking good over there.

Chubba Face, you crazy cow.

Say, "I'm smooshy."

I am smooshy.

Okay, now you.

Say, "Boy, is it windy."

Boy, is it windy.

My turn, my turn.

- Okay, chick. Just run along now.

- Bye, Oaty.

All righty.

Hey, who is she?

They just showed up.

Farmer took them in.

Thank you, Farmer.

Yeah, something happened

with their herd.

They're the only two that made it.

She needs a friend.

Wait, wait, wait!

Excuse me, but I couldn't help

notice you over there.

Hey! Oh, look at you. You're all...

- Pregnant?

- Yeah, sure. I mean...

Really? 'Cause, I mean,

it isn't that noticeable, you know.

I mean, especially when you

stand straight on,

and you don't look at it.

You know, when you turn to the side,

it gets a little lumpy.

I mean glowy. Glowy. It's a glow.

I'm... I'm Otis.

Back off, Daisy.

There's an "L" on that boy's forehead.

Rate this script:5.0 / 1 vote

Steve Oedekerk

All Steve Oedekerk scripts | Steve Oedekerk Scripts

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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