Basket Case

1

Who's there?

- Glens Falls Police Department.

- This is Dr. Lifflander. I want...

Hello? Can you send

someone to ...? Hello hello.

Oh God!

Oh, God... no!

No!

I've got a gun!

I'll shoot!

Get out or I'll shoot!

Smoke, smoke I've got joints in bags,

leaves and dime bag, gold Colombian smoke.

I've got acid, blanche, rainbow,

wonder paint, speeds, downs,

Seconal, Valium,

mescaline, THC,

I've got some good cocaine,

peyote, cannabis, grass, angel dust,

Check it out man!

Tranquilizers, amphetamines, white,

ecstasy, methadone,

marijuana, morphine...

What do you want? Some girls?

I've got some nice girls.

What the f*** is wrong

with you anyway, man?

I sold it to Dirty Lou.

You remember him.

He looks like Smuggle in the comics.

Dirty Lou...

The name sounds so familiar.

Wait a minute...

Didn't he get run over?

It was suicide. He hailed a cab

and when it pulled up to the kerb,

he jumped in front of it.

Get out of here!

You're full of crap!

Company...

I'd like a room.

- For how long?

- I'm not sure...

A couple of hours? A couple

of years? What? Give me a hint.

- A few days.

- Are you by yourself?

Yes, alone, by myself.

All alone in this

cold, cruel world...

20 bucks a night.

In advance...

And if you pay by the

day, it's due at noon.

And I don't want no junkies in here,

cause this is a respectable hotel.

I just need a place to stay.

- What's in the basket?

- Clothes.

He's smoking thru' a case of booze.

He's going to throw us a party!

- Room 7, third floor.

- Great!

20 bucks.

Oh, right.

- Is this stuff real?

- Hmm.

- Did you see that? He's loaded!

- So are you.

Hi, I'm Josephine.

What room are you in?

- Seven.

- Oh, you're so lucky!

That's the best room in the place!

It was lived in by a little old lady

who only went out on Sundays.

She lived there for ages.

Used to tell everyone she was rich

on oil well in Texas.

Had millions...

and was hiding from her relatives

who were trying to steal it from her.

She'd creep up to you and say:

"They try to take my money,"

"... But don't know where I am!"

Everyone thought she was nuts.

Then one day, she appeared in the

lobby, dressed with pearls and jewels.

Said she was leaving

to tour the world.

She paid her bill and left.

No one heard from her since.

We're here.

Is there any place I can get

something to eat around here?

- Nothing too fancy, I hope.

- No, just pizza or burgers.

- Yeah, there're plenty...

- There's one right across the street.

Great, thanks.

Got you something to eat.

Take your time!

There's plenty.

PATIENT:
DUANE BRADLEY

MD. H.Needleman and J.Kutter

Finished already?

Damn!

Kutter's name isn't listed.

Well, Needleman must

have the number.

You're not going to pace

the floor all night are you?

No. I don't want to talk now.

Go back to sleep!

Oh, come on!

I got to get up early.

We've been through

this before, you know.

Look, I'm not going to

stay up half the night talking.

It's 3:
30 in the morning.

Go back to sleep!

I'm not going to debate this!

Now good night!

For Christ sake!

Shut up and let me get some sleep!

Always waste time to

start a conversation.

Oh, great!

Last week you were in the dumb

waiter, this week it's keyholes!

- There's somebody in there.

- I figured that!

You should see... he's got a

roll of bills in them. Like this.

Oh, give me a break!

He's kind of letting him run

loose... in his pocket!

You've got two seconds before

I start pounding on his door.

- No, wait...

- One ..

I'm going!

Keyhole peekers,

cockroaches as big as dogs,

saxophones playing at

4 o'clock in the morning

and that crazy broad across the hall,

who I know is pissing on

my door step, I mean ...!

Just a minute!

Hi, I live across the hall and...

Well, the reason I'm bothering is...

now I don't want you think I go

around butting into people's business

but somebody has been

snooping around your door,

you know, peeking

through the keyhole and sh*t.

So, if you have anything of value

in there, like money or something,

I wouldn't leave it laying around.

Right, sure.

You know I can't stand to

see somebody get ripped off.

Especially without a fighting

chance. My name is Casey.

- Duane Bradley.

- Nice meeting you, Duane Bradley.

What the hell are

you doing in this dump?

It was the first hotel I came to.

Obviously, a hard man to

please. Where are you from?

Upstate.

- Oh, first time in New York?

- Yeah.

Listen, we have to go

for a drink some time.

- Okay, sure.

- Catch you later kid. Bye.

Come one. We gotta pay a little

visit to a doctor friend of mine.

Now the drugstore said he never

should have prescribed it to me

in the first place.

It's the wrong drug!

I'm allergic to it!

That's terrible!

Does he know you're allergic?

Well, he should. It's the second time

he gave me the wrong prescription.

The first time was

just as bad!

Oh, my goodness!

I'll be right with you.

It's this typewriter.

It was terrible!

First I got dizzy,

then I couldn't breathe

then my throat

felt like it was on fire!

Well, you make sure and

tell all this to the doctor.

Okay, this is the one!

Hear that?

Sounds like

something grinding inside.

And the carriage won't return.

Yesterday it was squeaking,

like if a mouse was caught inside.

Real high-pitched, like...

I don't know anything about typewriters.

I just want to see the doctor.

Oh, my goodness, I'm sorry!

I just assumed...

Oh, I didn't think you were a patient.

I'm expecting someone to fix

the typewriter this afternoon,

and I just thought, I figured that

was your toolbox or something.

Dr. Needleman is an

old friend of the family.

Is there any chance I could

see him without an appointment?

He'll tell you no,

friend of the family or not!

But as you can see, we have hundreds

of patients waiting to see him.

So we'll just pretend you did call

and have an appointment

for... 11:
30...

You're next!

Thanks!

What's your name?

Duane Bradley.

Oh, but don't write that ...!

I want to surprise him, and he'd

recognize that name right away.

Put down something like... Smith,

Duane Smith.

He'll appreciate this.

He's a million laughs.

Okay and you fill out the rest.

What's in the basket?

Easter eggs?

Just visiting New York or ...?

Yes, this is my first time.

So have you gone to the Empire State

Building yet and the Statue of Liberty?

No, I haven't had time.

Haven't had the time?

What about the Radio City

Music Hall? Or the UN?

- Had time for them?

- No, I...

What about the World Trade Towers?

Or the Trolley-cars?

- It's not that I don't want to, but...

- The Met?

The Cloisters?

Grummans Chinese?

It's just that I don't

know where anything is.

Oh, if you need a Tour Guide

I'd be happy to volunteer...

Or even buy you some 3D postcards

and an "I Love New York" T-shirt.

You're next!

Come in.

Yes, sir...

Smith.

Smith.

All right.

Mr. Smith...

What seems to be the problem?

My chest.

I've got this pain and...

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