Bataan Page #3

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by corporals and won by sergeants.

I claim they're won by everybody

that puts on a uniform and gets shot at.

When a good man like the Captain

gets killed...

...I don't see why the Sergeant

won't let me blow taps.

It'd be just the decent thing to do.

Look, kid...

...blow your horn all you want to.

I like a good tune on the horn, myself.

But there'll be no taps.

Those monkeys know what ''taps'' means

and I don't want 'em keeping score on us.

- You got it clear in your mind now?

- Yes, sir, Sergeant. I got it.

The Sergeant's a sensible fellow at that.

Just have to get to know him, that's all.

That'll take you a long time, Junior.

Lieutenant?

Yes, Sergeant?

You want to pick your men now, or shall I?

I think you better give the orders,

Sergeant.

You see, I'm just a stowaway

on this trip.

Until and if I can get my plane in the air,

I'll take orders from you like the rest.

Isn't that the best way to handle it?

I wouldn't say no.

Doesn't make sense though, a $40,000 pilot

getting killed in the infantry.

I hadn't exactly figured on gettin' killed.

Go ahead, Sarge.

You pick 'em and I'll kibitz.

Any of you guys claim to be mechanics?

Hey, Sarge, back home I built

my own jalopy.

Everything is strictly

out of secondhand junk...

...but, boy, he goes 80 miles an hour

like nothing.

I didn't finish telling you, Sarge.

Before I was an usher and played

in the band, I done some work in a garage.

You've been a busy boy.

Well, yeah, I got around some.

- Think they'll do, Lieutenant?

- Fine.

I'll need you later.

I'll yell for you when I'm ready.

Now listen, you guys,

I'm gonna make a speech.

We'll make it my first and my last.

Some of you might not like the way

I wear my tin hat or somethin'.

Well, I didn't pick you either.

As long as nobody changes

Captain Lassiter's orders...

...the orders stand the way you heard 'em.

You all volunteered,

or you wouldn't be here...

...so we'll call off the volunteering

from now on.

Gonna be a lot of odd jobs

to be done around here.

Some dirty jobs.

I'll decide what's to be done and when, and

I'll pick the men to do it. That'll be that.

Don't all of you be stepping up, making

your pitch for a medal volunteering.

It'll just waste my time and yours.

The smartest thing you can do is

to take it easy. Don't get excited.

If you got nothing to do, write letters.

I'm glad you mentioned that, Sergeant.

I've been sayin' all along

that we ought to write home oftener.

You're right, Sailor.

You're dead right.

That's what we oughta do.

Those poor civilians are havin'

a tough time...

...havin' to give up their gas

and tires and sugar...

...and havin' to buy bonds.

We gotta keep up their morale.

Thanks for giving us your views

on the subject, Corporal.

Now get this straight and don't forget it:

If one of you lays down on the job

he's assigned to...

...he'll put the rest of you

right on the spot.

Don't let that happen.

You're in charge of ammunition

and ordinance.

How many grenades

and how much dynamite we got?

- Give me a report before you go off duty.

- Okay, Sarge.

Hardy, start issuing regular preventive

doses of quinine to each man immediately.

- I already have, sir.

- That's fine. How's the supply?

About enough for four days,

minimum dosage.

Malloy, how are the groceries?

The groceries?

I'll tell you, there ain't no sugar

for the coffee...

...and there ain't no coffee.

There's maggots in the meat,

and the meat is mule.

Mule?

Yeah, mule.

If you hold your nose, it's all right.

Issue plenty for tonight.

Start rationing tomorrow.

I'll do that.

All right, boys, come and get it.

Any action out there?

I ain't seen nothin',

and I ain't heard nothin'.

But you can bet they're out there,

thicker'n fleas on a hound dog in Georgia.

What's the matter, Sarge?

You in a hurry?

I can wait.

Thought I might relieve Eeps here

while he gets his chow.

That is, if it's okay with you.

Thank you, Lieutenant,

but I don't feel hungry now...

...but Matowski over yonder,

he's always ready to eat.

- I'll send Matowski in.

- Thanks, Lieutenant.

I never touch the stuff.

Don't tell me that's Jap jive!

No, Sarge, no.

That's good old America.

That's U.S.A.

Well, music with our meals! Fancy.

That's Tommy Dorsey, from Hollywood!

He sends me, Sarge!

He makes me lace up my boots!

Oh, brother!

Keep blowing, Tommy, keep blowing.

Oh, boy, he's tall tonight, he's tall.

Yeah, talk to me, talk to me.

Give me some of that trombone talk,

Tommy.

Sarge, what's a man do

when he gets took with remorse?

- That depends on what about.

- About this.

I knew a mule, used to beat his ears down,

and for all I know this is him.

He's getting even with you?

That's why I got remorse.

I toughened that mule too much.

Some day I'm going to get back

to Pittsburgh.

Every Monday my mom makes

lima bean soup with vinegar.

Get him. He can mention a mess like that

and turns his nose up at this.

Which one of you guys claims to be

any good at climbing trees?

Come on.

Which tree, Sarge?

Pick a tall one. Get as high up as you can.

It's too dark to see, but I got a hunch...

...a big concentration of Jap heavy stuff is

over there across the ravine by now.

See what you can spot.

Yep.

That's two.

Purckett, Ramirez, front and center.

Relieve Todd on No. 1 machine gun.

On your feet. Grab a weapon

and get in one of those foxholes.

Break out the tommy guns.

Jake, issue each of them

a couple of pineapples.

Don't let these drop on your foot.

Yeah, they are heavy.

The idea is to use 'em. Don't waste 'em.

- You ever handle one of these before?

- We never had any of these in our outfit.

You pull this,

this and the gun'll do the rest.

Except in case when it jams.

- What if it jams?

- Write a letter to your senator.

If anything breaks, I suggest

you get back there as fast as possible.

Right.

You two, go with the Corporal.

If the moon gets higher the Japs'll see you,

so space out ten feet apart. Hug the cliff.

Don't shoot unless you're shot at.

All right, get going.

If anything breaks up, don't let it

interfere with

your work unless we yell for help.

- Right, Sergeant, good luck to you.

- Thanks.

You and me are going for a walk.

Yeah?

This guy, Burns, I was tellin' you about...

...he used to pitch for Company A.

Had quite a hop on his fast one.

No foolin'?

Have you had any experience

throwin' these apples?

Yeah, I been in the Army awhile.

That'll save me havin' to show you how.

Yankee, reverse the gun over there

where the bridge was.

Better have an extra belt ready.

You men...

...Corporal Feingold here

is in full command until I get back.

You gotta go lookin' for trouble?

You'd better check with Lieutenant Bentley

before you make any move. That's in case.

Okay, Sarge.

When we start layin' these eggs,

fire at will to cover us.

We'll angle over to the right.

It's good cover down that way.

Then we'll work back up along the edge

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