Batman: Gotham by Gaslight Page #2

We can't save them all.

I'm sorry, Bruce. I know those

orphans are close to your heart.

If I didn't have Sister Leslie

when my parents...

Funding the orphanage

is the least I could do.

And now you're back

in the manor.

Too remote. I've a town house

on Bell Avenue.

I look forward

to showing it to you.

Unfortunately, tonight

I have to...

Don't say another word.

I'll not hear you lie.

And a rich bachelor is always

up to no good.

(CHUCKLES) I'm afraid

it's unavoidable.

Isn't that right, Alfred?

Your evening attire has

already been laid out, sir.

Well, duty calls, I'm afraid.

Do you suppose

his pressing business

is blonde, brunette,

or a redhead?

James Gordon, you've got

a dirty mind, you do.

My money's on blonde.

(MELANCHOLIC MUSIC PLAYING)

(CAT MEOWS)

(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING)

(HEAVY FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING)

(DRAMATIC MUSIC CONTINUES)

(BREATHING RAPIDLY)

(BREATHING RAPIDLY)

(GASPS)

(SQUEALS)

(CHAIN RATTLES)

(KNIFE CLANGS)

(GRUNTS)

(CHOKING)

(GRUNTING)

(GROANS)

(GRUNTS)

(CHOKING)

(GROANS)

(THUNDER CRASHES)

(SIGHS)

- I hope you're unharmed, miss.

- Damn you.

You're a fool. I'll never

have a better chance

of stopping that butcher

and you squandered it,

playing the knight

in shining armor.

I can take care of myself.

Don't be so sure.

He's more skilled than

I would have thought.

I don't need

or want your help.

And before you gallantly offer

to escort me home,

let me assure you,

I am quite capable of...

Hmm. Well,

thank you for that at least.

(PANTING)

(GASPING)

(WOMAN SOBS)

(SCREAMS)

Barbara!

Barbara.

Hush! The children don't have

to be up for hours.

What is it, James?

What's wrong?

Dream. Just a dream.

GORDON:
And then,

you were gone.

I'm all right, dear.

James, these hours,

you're working too hard.

And that's not

likely to change.

I can't very well sit at home while

Gotham goes straight to hell.

No, you couldn't, could you?

I'll make your eggs.

(EXCLAIMS) Damnation!

Don't be alarmed.

So says the man dressed up

like a bat.

I'm on your side,

Commissioner.

I mean to rid Gotham

of the Ripper.

Really?

And who'll help me

rid Gotham of you?

Your men don't search

too hard for me.

I'm betting that comes

from the top down.

Back in the union camp

at Culpepper,

soldiers would sometimes

ignore a feral cat

just to keep

the rat population in check.

Other times, we'd eat them.

I know a vigilante

from a maniac.

This Ripper is far worse than the

lunatic you're searching for.

He's a skilled hunter,

and he's just getting started.

You ought to have breakfast with

Hugo Strange up at Arkham Asylum.

You can compare

useless theories.

I prefer facts.

I ran into your Ripper

earlier this evening.

Approximately 6'3",

250 pounds, left handed.

Good fighter.

Trained, not just a brawler.

Hmm, you didn't happen

to see his face, did you?

I need your files

on the Ripper.

Detailed descriptions

of the crime scene,

photo plates, even profiles

from your alienist.

Would you prefer them alphabetized

or in chronological order?

BARBARA:
James?

Stay inside, Barbara.

I'll be in directly.

Every woman in Gotham

is in danger, Commissioner.

A letter from Jack

to the Gotham Gazette.

We've convinced them

to refrain from publishing it.

Makes poor bedtime reading,

I assure you.

Perhaps you'll find

something of use in there.

Thank you.

I'll leave a copy

of the Ripper file

on the roof

of the police station.

I know you fancy rooftops.

But understand that this uninvited

visit to my home will not be repeated.

This house is my refuge,

set apart from all

the corruption of Got...

BARBARA:

James, your eggs are ready.

Are you sure you

won't come inside?

Yes, yes. I'm coming.

BRUCE:
"Dear Boss, Gotham has

become a den of filth and scum.

"I'm down on whores

and I shan't quit ripping them

"till I do get buckled.

"Grand work, the last job was.

"I hardly gave the lady

no time to squeal.

"How can they catch me now?

"I love my work,

cutting whores

"and then degenerates

what with defend them."

A little light reading,

Master Bruce?

"Them cusses' of coppers nor

the false God you hide behind

"won't spoil the game for me.

I will be on a job soon

"and will send you

a bit of innards."

(INHALES SHARPLY)

Goes on like that in some detail

about his dissection plans.

Mrs. Cooper has sent up

a portage.

Bon appetit.

And what do you deduce

from this magnum opus?

Very little.

Cheap paper with no watermark.

The hand is that of a man

with some education

disguised to look like

a man with none.

I'm certain your displays

of graphology

would duly impress any

young ladies you encounter.

Women are a distraction

from the mission, Alfred.

(ALFRED CHUCKLES)

So you've said.

Your evening attire, sir.

I believe you know that was not

the suit I was referring to

when I said I'd be

going out tonight, Alfred.

I've taken the liberty

of placing your other suit

in the seat compartment

of the carriage, sir.

Before the Batman can prowl,

I'm afraid, Bruce Wayne

must needs make an appearance.

Tongues will wag.

What engagement

have I accepted?

You are carousing

with the lively man-about-town

and rake, your oldest school

chum, Master Harvey Dent.

Gotham's solicitor.

Hmm.

I'm certain you shall have a pleasant and

elegant evening's entertainment, sir.

(LIVELY MUSIC PLAYING)

When the circus came to town

Jay Augustus

henpecked round

Bought himself a ticket

for the show

Passed by all the acrobats

All the clowns in funny hats

Went to see

the animals below

Saw a tamer put his hand

into a lion's mouth

Waited till the tamer man

was through

Shook his hand and said, At

taming wild ones, you're a bird

But just one thing

I'd like to ask of you

Can you tame wild women?

Can you tame wild women?

You made a tiger stand

And eat out of your hand

You made the hippo

do the flippo

On a stick, was grand

But can you tame wild women?

So they'll always lead

a sweet and simple life

Bruce, I'm in love.

Well, that's

great news, Harvey.

I'm sure your wife

will be glad to hear it.

Oh, please, Bruce.

This is the 19th century.

Don't be such a dinosaur.

Marriage is more like

a business arrangement.

Besides, what Gilda

doesn't know, won't hurt her.

Selina is the most amazing gal, Bruce.

You'll see.

I think I already do.

SELINA:
Just make yourselves

at home, gentlemen.

I'll make myself decent.

(CHUCKLING) I certainly

hope not.

SELINA:
Did you enjoy

my performance, Mr. Wayne?

Bruce.

And I'm told you

also gave quite

an impassioned performance

at the World's Fair preview.

I'm passionate

in everything I do, Bruce.

And boss Tolliver needed

to get the message.

Come on, my pet.

Let's see if we can't make our way

to a more comfortable establishment

before Gordon's killjoy curfew

takes effect.

Listen carefully, kitten,

I'm many things

but I'm nobody's pet.

(DOOR OPENS)

SELINA:
And you can't doubt

for one minute

that if men were

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