Batman: The Killing Joke

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1

BARBARA:
First of all,

I realize this is probably

not how you thought the story would start,

not with a big shiny moon

or a city that could look

stunning in spite of itself.

Or me.

But I wanted you to know

that before the horror began,

before it all came crashing down,

there was a time when capes

and cowls and fighting crime

really was exciting.

I'd been with Batman

for almost three years.

That night my father signaled

for him, so something was up.

(BEEPING)

I tend to stay out of these discussions.

I mean, why push my luck?

- BATMAN ON RADIO: You there?

- Yeah.

We've got a robbery.

(POLICE SIRENS WAILING IN DISTANCE)

Bloody son of a...

You act like you've never been

in a police chase before.

- Take the next left.

- Here?

Here.

(TIRES SCREECHING)

We've got to lose the truck.

Let's lose the cops instead, okay?

(SCREAMING)

(TIRES SCREECHING)

This is going to be a night to remember.

(GASPS)

Fricking A!

(BEEPING)

Caution, falling debris.

(MEN COUGHING)

(BEEPS)

(TIRES SCREECHING)

Okay, we lose the truck.

(HISSING)

(THUD)

(TIRES SCREECHING)

(GUNFIRE)

(GROANS)

(GROANS)

You really want to turn

a robbery into a murder?

You see another way out of this?

BATGIRL:
I know you're in a bad spot.

But there's bad and then there's worse.

(ENGINE REVVING)

(GRUNTS)

Like that.

Negotiating?

He wasn't going to hurt me.

Did he know that?

Sometimes, you have

to have a little faith.

What happened to the drivers?

They got away.

But the night's still young.

(GASPS)

I'm going to need some alone time.

Oh, sure, yeah.

(MAN GROANING)

- Maybe I'll see you...

- (MAN SCREAMING)

Later.

It's a lot of photos.

My uncle's big on family,

even the ones he's hit.

His Holiness is expecting us.

Get the hell in here.

It's all over the news.

- (REMOTE CONTROL CLICKING)

- Every channel.

What can I tell you? Batgirl's hot.

- (GASPS)

- Don't get smart.

(GROANS)

I lost four men yesterday.

Four idiots.

They said they could

knock out the tracker on the armored car.

I don't think they could plug

a computer in their ass.

Do I care?

I'm out 100 grand,

thanks to your frigging fiasco.

And what do I get for it?

The Bat and his b*tch

breathing down my neck.

Bottom line, you're going to give me

my money back, nephew, every cent.

Otherwise you're going to become

a very distant relative, very soon.

Capisce?

Okay, unc, whatever you say.

Darker men, huh?

Barbara, why didn't you tell me?

I have a cousin who's a defense attorney.

Ooh, Reese, not that dark.

(SING-SONG) He's single.

Well, that lightens him up

a bit, doesn't it?

Babs, girl,

(STAMMERS) I do not understand

why you're having fishing troubles

when we are in the middle of a lake.

What do these guys have

to do to get your attention?

Steal a book?

It just so happens

I'm involved with someone.

Sort of, kind of.

- That serious, huh?

- (KEYBOARD CLACKING)

What are you doing?

My dad's department

has been setting up city cams.

I've been helping with the program.

It's amazing. You can view

half of Gotham from your computer.

(KEYBOARD CLACKING)

(COMPUTER TRILLING)

Looks like a bad boy, just your type.

(BEEPING)

LONNY:
Jesus, Paris, a friggin' fortune

in the middle of some dump.

It's ridiculous.

It used to be a bank.

The same family's owned

this building since 1929.

- Which family?

- My uncle's.

You are bloody crazy.

You sound pissed.

- No, I sound freaked the "F" out.

- I'm not.

And that's freaking me, too.

My uncle's a dinosaur, Lonny.

By the time he finds out

what we've done, he'll be extinct.

(WHIZZING)

BATGIRL:
No withdrawals today, boys.

Bloody hell, it's her!

Batgirl, I am impressed.

Where's your overbearing boyfriend?

He's not my boyfriend.

Then maybe I have a chance.

What are you doing?

- I want to meet her.

- (LOUD THUD)

(YELLS)

- (GUNSHOT)

- (GRUNTS)

(SLOW CLAPPING)

Awesome.

(NECK CRACKS)

I don't want to have to hurt you.

Why should you be different

from all the other girls?

(GRUNTING)

(YELLS)

(BOTH GRUNTING)

It's like a dance.

Yeah, right.

(GRUNTING)

Too bad we can't sit this one out.

I don't waste my time with punk amateurs.

Oh, baby, I think you've misjudged me.

(GROANS)

(VOICE ECHOING) Smells like cherries, huh?

You've got maybe

10 seconds to bedtime, baby.

Can't end the night without a kiss.

(GROANING)

You'll never make it to the door, Batgirl.

(SCOFFS) Smart girl.

(GROANS)

She's taking a nap. Let's grab the money.

(SIREN BLARES)

(INDISTINCT RADIO CHATTER)

Thanks.

How long was I out?

A few minutes.

Apparently, I got there

right after they left.

You should've waited for me.

They were on their way out.

I had to do something.

His name is Paris, Paris Franz.

(COUGHS) You're kidding?

I guess not.

Your father gave me his file.

He's a nasty combination

of narcissist and sociopath.

He'll have you smiling right up to

the moment he cuts your throat.

I haven't had to deal

with his type of crazy in a while.

I don't want you to, either.

What are you saying?

Don't go near him without me.

- Excuse me?

- No matter what.

We're not exactly attached at the hip.

We are on this.

You want to work with me,

you do what I say.

And that's it?

You speak and the words are law?

Yes.

REESE:
Let me understand.

You're seeing a guy,

but not really dating.

- Right.

- In a yoga class.

Basically.

He's, like, the instructor?

Right.

And he's making demands?

He's always been controlling,

usually I'm okay with it.

But there's no sex?

God, no!

And you're into him because...

Because of the yoga.

I like the yoga.

So, find another class.

There is no other class, Reese.

This is it.

And I'm good.

He won't say it,

but I'm the best damn student he ever had.

So, if he's going to start

making decisions based on emotions

of which he has zero,

then I think we've got a problem!

And they say the gay scene

is complicated. (SCOFFS) What?

Here you go, ladies,

added token of our appreciation.

Here's the mask

your buddy wanted me to wear.

(CHUCKLES) Sorry,

we had to cut up the pillowcase.

Got it, thank you.

You know I've got real masks

back at the house,

just saying.

(KEYBOARD CLACKING)

So, how long are we going to be here?

I thought you Brits liked the salt air.

I don't like all that money

sitting under a friggin' sink.

- Feed it to the fish.

- What?

I just got access

to every offshore account my uncle owns.

And she called me an amateur.

(CELL PHONE RINGING)

PARIS:
Who is it?

It's your uncle.

(GUNSHOT)

- (GUNFIRE)

- (GROANS)

- (GUNFIRE CONTINUES)

- (PANTING)

How do we get out?

You're looking at it.

(BEEPING)

(MOTOR REVVING)

Batgirl, I'm afraid

I didn't get your number.

So I'm sending this video

to the police to give to you.

They've got to be good for something.

You may have heard

that I've come into some family money.

I told you I'm no punk.

In fact, I got you a gift.

Something special for my special girl.

Just go back to where we met. You'll see.

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