Batman Beyond: Return of the Joker Page #4

Not their game.

There's something else

I want to take with me.

Drake, I know you're

the connection to the Joker.

Don't pretend you

didn't hear me.

Hologram.

You guessed it,

Batfake!

The disgruntled Mr. Drake

is indeed in my employ.

Took him a few years, but he figured

out who ran the real winning team.

This is one of Uncle Sam's

orbiting defense satellites.

Hyperion class,

laser-armed.

Handy litlle gadget for shooting down

unfriendly missiles...

...or giving someone

a world-class hotfoot.

Think of it as urban tagging

on a grand scale...

...reminding all and sundry

that this is Joker territory.

You're welcome to

try and stop us...

...but I'm not taking bets on that

happening anytime soon. Toodles.

Miss me?

Computer, search for

the name Jolly Jack.

Abandoned candy factory.

Just his style.

Wayne,

I think I've got something.

Download this transmition and tell Gordon

to have her men at that address.

-I'm gonna--

-Aren't you the nasty tattletale?

Ratting me out

before I have my fun.

Papa spank.

Yeah,

I know!

I'd better sit down

before I bust a gut!

Catch you later,

kiddo!

It's stopped.

I'm going after him.

Gotcha!

Ace.

Good bat-dog.

Where'd he go?

Watch it!

You watch it!

It's him!

Double down.

Lovely playroom.

You getting this, Wayne?

I see it. You keep

your eyes open for the Joker.

Tim.

Get up, Drake.

What?

Who is it?

Where's the Joker?

Joker?

Drop the act.

I know you're working with him.

No, Joker's gone.

I don't know where he is, really.

Suit sensors aren't picking up

any pulse fluctuations.

It's the truth.

I don't do this anymore.

I have a home and family.

I gave this up years ago.

Kids' stuff. That's all it was.

It may be the truth,

but he's still whacked.

Fun and games.

Boy Wonder playing the hero.

Fighting the bad guys

and no one ever gets....

Oh, God.

I killed him.

I didn't mean to.

I tried so hard to forget.

But I still hear the shot,

still see his dead smile.

Every night the

dreams get stronger.

He's there when I sleep,

whispering, laughing...

...telling me I'm just as bad

as he is, we're both the same.

I'm calling an ambulance.

No, I'm all right.

Forgive me, Terry.

Old, nasty memories twisting

inside me like bad oysters.

Nothing really.

I'm perfectly fine now.

How do you know my name?

There's nothing about you

I don't know, Batfake.

Terry!

Have a time-out,

kid.

Can't let you spoil

the party too soon.

And Bruce, I'm sure you've got

your monkey-boy wired somehow.

That's just peachy, because I want you

to see every minute of this.

It's a killer.

My God.

Oh,

I never get tired of that!

Drake?

You're the Joker?

That flabby oaf doesn't even realize

I'm using him as a time-share.

Beneath this puckish exterior

lies the mind of a genius...

...years ahead of my time.

In the weeks young Robin

was under my tutelage...

...l used him as the subject

of my greatest experiment.

Utilizing cutting-edge

genetics technology...

...which I had pinched

here and there...

...l encoded my DNA

on a microchip...

...and set it

into bird-boy's birdbrain.

Here.

Everything that was me has been

a-sleeping all comfy and cozy...

...inside Tim

Drake's subconscious.

At first, I had to limit the time

I spent in Drake's body.

He's not aware of what I do...

...chalking up any lingering memories

to bad dreams.

If his family misses him,

I simply call wifey and tell her:

"l'm working late,

honey."

The changes come at will now...

...and soon I'll be strong enough

to live in this body permanently.

Mr. J's on the rebound,

baby!

My comeback party's gonna set

the whole town on fire!

So where should I

make ground zero?

Gotham General, where our hero's

dear little Dana is recuperating?

Or here, in the happy garden

of Mrs. Mary McGinnis?

I always think it adds resonance

to a hero's mission...

...to have some defining element

of tragedy in his background...

...don't you?

Ah, but the one and only

kick off point...

...must be stately Wayne Manor.

Gone in a flash...

...before Brucie can hobble to safety

or mount a rescue.

Don't worry,

though.

I'll be hitting

those other spots soon enough.

Adis, Brucie.

I guess I should salute you

as a worthy adversary and all that...

...but the truth is,

I really did hate your guts.

What about it, kid?

Any last words for the old Batfart?

Yeah. Sic him.

Ace, here!

Attaboy!

End of the line,

Snoopy.

No!

Oh, good.

The beam's headed here.

Now I'll have

to start all over again.

Thanks for wrecking everything, kid.

See you around.

Hold it.

Oh, wise up,

junior.

Game's over!

-I'm taking you in.

-Right.

You're out of your league,

McGinnis.

I know every trick the original

Batman and Robin knew at their peak.

Maybe, but you don't know

a thing about me.

You?

What's to know?

You're a punk.

A rank amateur.

A costumed errand boy taking orders

from a senile old man.

Still, if it's a whooping

you're wanting....

That's right.

Better to run and save yourself.

That's about your speed.

Let's dance,

bozo.

He's tough.

Any suggestions, boss?

Joker is vain and likes to talk and try

to distract you, but don't listen.

Block it out and power through.

Wait.

I like to talk too.

-What are you doing?

-Fighting dirty.

The real Batman would never--

Told you,

you didn't know me.

Funny guy.

Can't say the same for you.

Impudent brat.

Who do you think you're talking to?

Not a comedian,

I'll tell ya that.

Shut your mouth!

The real Batman never

talked to you much, did he?

That's why you were

so fixated on him.

Don't play psychoanalyst

with me, boy!

Oh, I don't need a degree

to figure you out.

The real reason

you kept coming back...

...was you never got a laugh

out of the old man.

I'm not hearing this.

Get a clue, clownie.

He's got no sense of humor.

He wouldn't know a good joke

if it bit him in the cape.

-Not that you ever had a good joke.

-Shut up. Shut up!

I mean, joy buzzers,

squirting flowers? Lame!

Where's the A material? Make a

face, drop your pants, something!

Show yourself!

You make me laugh, but only because

I think you're kind of pathetic.

Stop that!

You fell in a tank of acid,

got your skin bleached...

...then decided

to become a super villain.

What? You couldn't get work

as a rodeo clown?

Don't you dare laugh at me!

Why? I thought the Joker always

wanted to make Batman laugh.

You're not Batman!

Come on,

McGinnis!

Laugh it up now,

you miserable little punk! Laugh!

I can't hear you!

Easy,

I've got you.

Way ahead of you.

Delia and Deidre Dennis,

your grandmother's paid your bail.

You're being released to her custody,

pending your trial.

-Oh.

-Joy.

You rotten little scamps!

I struggle to make a good home for you

and this is the thanks I get!

Break a grandmother's heart!

-I hope they throw the book at you!

-Oh, shut up, Nana Harley.

You didn't have

to cover up for me, Barbara.

The Joker's gone, Tim.

You were just along for the ride.

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