Batman Forever Page #2

for human trials. Let me show you, please!

BRUCE:
Now, listen...

...I want a full set of technical schematics

on this, okay?

We'll be full partners in this, Bruce.

Look at us! Two of a kind!

You call my assistant, Margaret.

She'll set something up.

Uh...

That's not...

...going to be good for me.

EDWARD:
I need an answer now.

[Softly] I think I deserve it.

BRUCE:
I'm sorry, then the answer is no.

Tampering with people's brain waves...

...mind manipulation...

...it just raises too many questions.

Sorry.

BRUCE:
Thanks, keep up the good work.

The factory looks great.

STICKLEY:
All right, everyone!

Back to work!

We'll discuss this later!

[Sobs] You were supposed to understand.

I'll make you understand.

[Dramatic instrumental music, background]

Lock.

BRUCE:
Chair.

[Zooming]

Alfred.

ALFRED:
I saw the signal.

All is ready.

[Crackling]

[Batman Forever theme song plays,

background]

[Batmobile engine roars]

Commissioner?

CHASE:
He's at home.

I sent the signal.

What's wrong?

Last night at the bank I noticed

something about Two-Face:

CHASE:
His coin.

It's his Achilles' heel.

It can be exploited.

BATMAN:
I know.

You called me for this?

The Batsignal is not a beeper.

I wish I could say that my interest

in you was...

...purely professional.

Are you trying to get under my cape?

[Chase snickers]

A girl can't live by psychoses alone.

It's the car, right? Chicks love it.

[Giggles]

What is it about the wrong kind of man?

In grade school:
guys with earrings.

College:
motorcycles, leather jackets.

Now...

[Chase moans]

...black rubber.

Try a fireman. Less to take off.

I don't mind the work.

Pity I can't see behind the mask.

BATMAN:
We all wear masks.

My life's an open book. You read?

I don't blend in at a family picnic.

CHASE:
We could give it a try. I'll bring

the wine...

...you bring your scarred psyche.

Direct, aren't you?

CHASE:
You like strong women.

I've done my homework.

Or do I need skintight vinyl and a whip?

I haven't had much luck with women.

Maybe you just haven't met

the right woman.

[Door opens]

[Footsteps]

I saw the signal.

COMMISSIONER:
What's going on?

BATMAN:
Nothing.

False alarm.

Are you sure?

[Dramatic instrumental music, background]

Women.

[Batmobile engine roars]

[Crackling]

[Edward gasps excitedly]

EDWARD:
Now I've got it!

Ha!

"Too many questions.

There's too many questions.

[Whiny voice] "Too many..."

[Sarcastic tittering]

I'll show you it works!

STICKLEY:
[Yells]

What the hell is going on here?

I told you this project is terminated!

I'm calling Security!

[Thud]

[Shouts] Caffeine will kill you!

[Ding]

EDWARD:
[Whispers]

Rise and shine, little guinea pig.

What are you doing?

Untie me!

EDWARD:
This won't hurt.

At least, I don't think it will.

STICKLEY:
What are you doing?

You touch that switch and...

This?

[High-pitched zoom]

[Sighs]

[Edward laughs softly]

[Electronic sound effects]

EDWARD:
Losing resolution.

More power!

[Zap]

[Stickley screams]

[Both scream]

[Voice vibrates]

[Hoots and hollers]

[Both speak gibberish extremely quickly]

[Sighs exaggeratedly]

[Shouts] Edward Nygma...

...come on down!

You're the next contestant on...

...Brain Drain!

[Imitates voices of talk-show host

and contestant]

I'll take what's inside

thick skull number one!

EDWARD:
What have we got for him?

[Goofy chuckling]

Oh, Stickley, I'm having a breakthrough!

And a breakdown? Maybe!

Nevertheless, I'm smarter. I'm a genius.

No, several geniuses.

A gaggle, a swarm...

...a flock of freaking Freuds!

Riddle me this, Fred.

EDWARD:
What is everything to someone...

... and nothing to everyone else?

[Shouts] Your mind, baby!

Now mine pumps with the power of yours!

[Sings]

"I'm sucking up your IQ

"Vacuuming your cortex

"Feeding off your brain"

[Electronic musical rhythm]

[Shrieks] Fred!

[Zapping sounds]

[Edward clucks]

[Edward grunts]

[Edward gasps]

What a rush!

What the hell just happened?

[Sighs]

A very surprising side effect.

While you were mesmerized

by my 3-D TV...

...I utilized your neural energy

to grow smarter.

Bruce Wayne was right!

STICKLEY:
You demented, bizarre,

unethical toad!

It is brain manipulation!

STICKLEY:
I'm reporting you to the FCC!

EDWARD:
Oh!

STICKLEY:
The human

experimentation board! The AMI!

- And the police!

- Eee!

STICKLEY:
You are going up on charges...

...to court, to jail...

[Edward hums]

...and then to a mental institution

for the rest of your life!

But, first and foremost,

Nygma, you are fired!

[Yells] Do you hear me? Fired!

Ooohh...

I don't think so.

[Edward grunts]

[Stickley screams]

[Screams]

[Crash]

STICKLEY:
Help!

Whoa!

[Sobbing]

[Roaring vibrations]

EDWARD:
[Shrieks] Hang on!

[Both gasping]

Babe!

You are fired!

EDWARD:
Or should I say...

...terminated?

[Stickley's screaming echoes]

[Yells] Surf's up, Big Kahuna!

[Crash]

Oohhh!

Nice form, but rough on the landing.

He may have to settle for the Bronze.

[Cackles hysterically]

"Questions," Mr. Wayne?

My work raises too many questions?

Why hasn't anybody...

[Whispers] ... put you in your place?

NEWSCASTER:
Harvey Dent,

once Gotham's District Attorney...

... was horribly scarred

by underworld kingpin, Boss Moroni.

Although Batman tried to save him...

... Dent's left-brain damage

turned him into a violent criminal...

... who blamed Batman

and who has vowed to destroy him.

[Alfred talks on phone]

Harvey Two-Face is extremely dangerous,

repeat, extremely dangerous.

That was the Commissioner.

There's been an accident

at Wayne Enterprises.

BRUCE:
Horrible way to die.

The surveillance cameras are down here.

We'll dredge the river, but with

that current, I doubt we'll find the body.

[Soft instrumental music, background]

Why?

Oh, why?

[Sobs]

I just can't believe it.

Two years working in the same office.

He was like my father...

...my brother...

...or a cousin that visits a lot.

[Sobs]

Get a grip, Edward.

I found this in my cubicle.

You'll find the handwriting matches his,

as does the sentence structure.

I couldn't possibly continue on here.

[Gasps] The memories...

BRUCE:
This is last night's security log.

There's Stickley.

[Stickley laughing]

[Crash]

Pretty cut and dry.

Yes, definitely suicide.

Thanks very much for your help, Bruce.

We'll be in touch.

BRUCE:
Stickley's suicide doesn't make

sense. I want full benefits for his family.

Suicide's not covered

by our corporate insurance policy.

I know. Full benefits.

Gossip Gerty called 32 times.

Who are you taking to the Charity Circus?

BRUCE:
I'll let you know. What's this?

I don't know.

I didn't see anyone.

BRUCE:
"If you look at the numbers

on my face...

"...you won't find 13 anyplace."

That's hideous.

MARGARET:
What does it mean?

It's a riddle.

"Numbers on my face... 13."

One through twelve.

The answer is a clock.

Who would send you a riddle?

That, Maggie...

...is the riddle.

[Pop song begins]

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