Beautiful & Twisted

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1

I'm sorry, Mrs. Novack, but, you know,

dogs aren't allowed inside the bank.

He's so little. He won't hurt anyone.

I just want to get into my box.

We'll be quick.

Yeah, good.

Narcy always had a way with men.

Excuse me.

- Mrs. Novack.

- Yes?

I'm terribly sorry.

But Thomas was unaware

that your name is not on the signature card.

Your husband needs to be with you

to get into the box.

Don't be silly.

I'll send Ben over to sign the card

just as soon as he wakes up from his nap.

I promise.

That's me. Ben Jr.

Probably better to take this one

back to the beginning.

This is where I grew up,

the legendary Fontainebleau Hotel,

paradise on the sand in Miami Beach.

It was Dad's.

He built it from the ground up.

Pretty swank, don't you think?

The Fontainebleau was the place

to see and be seen.

And it was ours.

Anyone who was anyone stayed here.

Dad said, "Build a grand stage,

and anyone who enters will play their part."

Sinatra stayed here.

Elvis stayed here.

Freaking James Bond stayed here.

JFK stayed in suite 1784.

Marilyn stayed in 1782.

This was home,

and Dad, Ben Sr., was king,

and Mom, Bernice,

was the queen of the Fontainebleau.

I guess I'd be the prince in this story.

Happy birthday, Ben-o.

My parents would use any excuse

to throw a bash.

Dad. Dad. Dad.

Hold on a sec, buddy.

One second, Benny, okay?

The grown-ups are talking.

And my sixth birthday was a pretty good one.

Yeah, why don't you go up to your room,

read some of your comics?

Why don't you get some

of your birthday cake, honey?

My folks had a lot on their plates.

I mean, who wants a six-year-old kid

butting in, you know?

I kind of figured this is where

I got my taste for everything.

I mean, it was right in front of me,

everywhere, eye high.

Ass, booze, drugs, all of it.

I was raised on TV and comic books.

I mean, my life was already a kind of fantasy

with kings and queens and movie stars.

So why not add a superhero into the mix?

Batman was my favorite.

I don't know why.

Maybe it was the lonely, rich kid thing,

maybe I just liked the car.

Lay 'em down, ladies.

I got my real education

backstage at the Boom-Boom Room.

I guess all that's missing from this story

is the girl, the damsel in distress,

and the villain, but we'll get to that.

All right, let's give it up

for Kitty in the middle.

And that's Eva on the left

and Candice on the right.

Drink?

Can't. I'm on the job.

What's your name? I'm Ben.

Kitty.

What's your name

when you have your clothes on?

You are not gonna find out

in a place like this.

Really?

Well, then, let's go.

It ain't gonna be that easy.

Her name was Narcisa Veliz Pacheco. Narcy.

She was my princess, my damsel,

my Catwoman.

And I was hooked.

She was like crack or cigarettes

or whatever else you can get addicted to.

I had to have Narcy.

It was the craziest foreplay ever.

For weeks, I'd go to watch her dance,

pay for booze, for lap dances,

and she still wouldn't let me take her out.

It's amazing how much stuff

that woman could take off

without showing me anything.

Just like Catwoman, she was a mystery.

Who was she behind the mask?

I was gonna keep coming back to find out.

- Good morning, May.

- It's almost 4:
00.

- Night shift at the restaurant.

- You don't have to call it a restaurant.

They serve food there.

- How's school?

- How's the restaurant?

May, you know everything I do, I do for us,

to make us money,

maybe get you to a better school,

send you to college.

I know.

When I worked at the shop,

I made $6 an hour.

Dancing, I can make $500 a night.

A nice guy has been coming in.

He wants to date me.

Nice guys don't go

to that kind of restaurant, Mom.

- You want to take a ride?

- No, thank you.

- I asked you a question back there.

- No, come on.

Come on, come here.

No, don't touch me! Come on!

Get off!

- Help!

- Come here!

You ever bother her again, I'll kill you!

All right, come on. Let's go.

Let's go, let's go.

I got you. I got you. I got you.

Nice car.

This is the one I rescue the damsels in.

Are you trying to save me?

You own the freaking Batmobile?

You like it?

Nice bat cave.

I actually have three more of them.

What do you do with all this stuff?

What do you mean what do I do with it?

I collect it.

It's actually the second largest collection

of Batman memorabilia in the world.

She's cool.

Catwoman.

Gets her information from men

so she can use it in her robberies.

She's got a love-hate relationship

with Batman.

He thinks he can reform her.

He needs the whip.

Third drawer on the left.

You are a bad boy.

Looking for a bad girl.

Narcy?

What are you waiting for, Batman?

Why don't you quit your job

and let me take care of you?

We haven't even gone on a date yet.

This wasn't a date?

You're too beautiful and smart

to be stripping.

Trying to reform me, Batman?

I am trying to keep you all to myself.

I have a daughter.

Great.

I love kids.

I was one once myself.

Besides, I have 5,000 toys

and nobody to play with.

All right, May,

I officially deem you my first mate,

and your duties include

repelling any invaders,

interlopers, pirates or other miscreants.

I know that I haven't known

your mom very long,

but I am very serious about her.

You met her at a strip club.

Look, why don't you and I make a bet

whether this lasts.

You're, like, a zillionaire or something.

I don't even get allowance.

Okay, I will bet you

my detective comic book number 27.

A comic book?

It's Batman's first appearance.

There's less than 100 in the world.

It's worth about $1 million.

But what do I get if you lose?

You get my mom. That's prize enough.

Deal.

- Mama.

- Benny.

You look so handsome.

Almost respectable.

Mom, this is Narcy.

Hi.

You must be May.

Benny told me you were a pretty girl,

but he was grossly understating the facts.

I'm Narcy.

He doesn't like strangers. Go, Bubbe.

Narcy. That's an interesting name.

It's short for Narcisa.

Narcisa. The dancer.

Lovely. Come in.

This place is huge!

You have a very lovely home, Mrs. Novack.

Yes, let me take you on a tour.

You keep the old lady busy. I'll hit the silver.

Dolores, we'll be ready for dinner

in a few minutes

Six years curating

for the Museo De Arte De Barcelona.

I'm fluent in five languages. Come, sweetie.

Why do you have all these pictures?

Well, that used to belong to us

until Benny's father passed.

Come, you see that grand piano there?

That was a gift from Frank Sinatra.

What happened with your mom?

She's slow to warm up,

and one day,

she's gonna love you as much as I do.

Come on, you two, have a look at the pool.

There's a waterfall.

We can make it short

if you're paying by the hour.

- Narcy, open the door.

- No!

- What is she saying?

- She called Bernice a b*tch.

All right, if you don't open the door,

I'm breaking it down.

It's a hollow-core fiberboard door.

I can bust it with my pinky.

- One.

- Did you see how that b*tch looked at me?

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