Beautiful & Twisted Page #2

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Where was Batman?

She's like your Kryptonite or something.

That's Superman.

Batman doesn't care about Kryptonite.

Two. Look, just open it up.

I have something very important

I want to tell you.

I don't want to talk to you.

All right, your landlord isn't gonna like this.

Three.

Narcy, will you marry me?

Or do I need to break my foot?

What did you say?

Will you marry me, Narcy?

Told you I'd win our bet.

John is already so hammered.

He had way too much champagne.

No, no. Thanks again.

I thought a Batman-themed

Bar Mitzvah was tacky,

but this really can't compare.

It was his idea.

Well, we were gonna have it at the strip club,

but that food is terrible.

Yeah, well, congratulations to you.

I hope you'll both be very happy

and have a good lawyer.

- But we do. They helped us with the pre-nup.

- Her idea.

Well, that's very romantic.

Will you just excuse me for one second?

Cheers.

All right, come on.

What are you drinking, shots? No?

Don Julio Blanco for me.

A virgin margarita for her.

We're gonna be a family.

I want you to come to me for anything.

Except history.

I suck at history.

To the Novacks.

Ben, you remember my brother Cristobal?

Hey.

You take good care of my Narcy.

Congratulations.

And that was that.

Batman married his Catwoman,

and like anything

that's both amazing and addicting

and possibly very bad for you, it was great.

Look! This is the one I was telling you about!

Hold it up. It'll look bigger.

Years went by, put May through school.

Maybe I wasn't the perfect husband,

but I took good care of the family,

food on the table, roof over the head.

Everything was good.

We were living the American dream-ish.

I got to go.

Look at you!

- How was your flight?

- I need to get a Batplane.

What's this?

Powdered sugar.

What's this?

Chocolate.

I'm gonna take a quick shower.

Are you hungry for lunch?

- What are you making?

- It's a surprise.

A surprise. Speaking of which...

Look at the size of these diamonds.

It's not even my birthday.

- You like 'em?

- I love them.

It's just to show

that I was thinking about you,

and to thank you for putting up with

such a workaholic, absent, hot-tempered,

sex-crazed, good-for-nothing husband.

My pleasure.

I'm just gonna go take a quick shower.

Okay.

Who's Sandy?

I found this in the pocket of your jacket.

Don't you dare lie to me.

I don't know what that is.

I've never seen that before.

That could have been in there for a year.

I wore that jacket to Chuck's wedding.

Don't bullshit me.

This is a goddamn bar napkin.

Is this a strip joint?

You were screwing some stripper

on the side?

Listen to me. Listen to me.

Where do you think I meet clients?

I meet them in bars!

It's probably a client's number.

You know what? I'm gonna call her.

I'm gonna call that whore.

- No, you're not.

- Yes.

No, you are not. Stop it. Stop it.

Okay, no. All right.

I was drunk, and she came on to me,

and I took the number...

- You liar!

- I shouldn't have...

Narcy!

Narcy!

Get away from me.

You think you can go around

screwing other women,

and come back with some jewelry,

and everything will be fine?

- What are these, a bribe?

- Look, I am sorry, all right?

- Look, I love you.

- Bullshit.

If you love me,

you don't go around screwing other women.

Look, sometimes I go too far, okay?

But I've never pretended

to be anything other than what I am.

I mean, come on. We met at a strip club.

Come on.

I'm sorry, Benny. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry, Benny. Oh, my God.

You are the craziest b*tch I've ever met.

It's you who drives me crazy.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

Morning, Patrick.

Convention Concepts.

Yes. Please hold.

Dad.

Hey, I got the docs for Salazar.

Good, good. Thanks.

- What the hell happened to you?

- I forgot to duck.

You've been with Mom for this long

and you still haven't learned?

Yeah.

- You need more ice?

- No, no, no.

I'm good.

- I closed the Sheraton deal.

- No!

- I am so proud of you.

- Thanks, Dad.

- Let's just keep this little story to ourselves.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah, our secret.

Thanks.

Mom, didn't know you were coming in today.

- What happened to you?

- It's nothing.

You should see the other guy.

- Oh, my God.

- It's fine.

Got a big client coming in today.

Is Narcy coming in for this big meeting?

I do not know. We had a disagreement.

Well, what else is new?

- Did she do this to you, Benny?

- Mom, don't worry about it.

But I am worried, Benny.

I've been worried since the day you met her.

Mom, every marriage has problems.

Hello, husband.

Mother. To what do we owe the pleasure?

I'm just checking on the welfare of my son.

Salazar will be here in five minutes.

Mom, go get a cup of coffee,

and we'll talk later.

You have blood on your shirt, baby.

A little spot right there.

Come. Take it off.

Let me get it out before the stain sets.

Ben, I'm sorry about before. I just...

You hurt me.

I don't know what gets into me.

All I want is for things to be good.

I just want us to be happy.

I just want to love you.

I just want you to love me like before.

Mother...

Maybe Mom was right.

Moms usually are.

But what she could never understand,

what no one could ever understand,

it turned me on.

And this is something

that we did for the sultan.

Who would have thought $20 million

could go so fast?

We take very good personal care

of our clients.

I'd like my senior executives

to feel pampered.

I want for them something more

than just a big party.

We were thinking

a big event out on the water.

125-foot Mangusta.

Three sushi chefs,

five-star entertainment, beautiful girls.

We'll give them a night they'll never forget.

Will you be there, too?

I wouldn't miss it.

It's funny. We've been married a long time,

and my Spanish still sucks.

Perhaps you can tell me more

about your ideas

over a drink.

Yeah.

I can answer any questions

that you might have.

We're talking about the party on the boat.

He wants to hear more over a drink.

Great.

I got this.

This is assault. It's a crime.

You should file charges

and for divorce as well.

Mom, not now.

The nature of a cat is its unpredictability.

And with Narcy,

you never knew what to expect.

Call for help!

Come on, talk to me.

We need an ambulance.

Yes, a woman, she just fell...

Mom?

Mom. You'll be okay.

It's okay. It's okay.

- You didn't answer your phone.

- I was busy.

My mother's in the hospital.

What?

Is she going to be all right?

They put a tube down through her throat

into her stomach.

They're running tests. She's resting.

Where were you?

- I was working.

- For nine hours?

What happened to her, Ben?

She thinks you poisoned her.

What are you talking about?

Did you have anything to do with this?

- What are you doing?

- I'm leaving.

Did you or did you not poison my mother?

Your mother, her royal freaking highness,

is an old lady.

Old ladies get sick.

Sh*t happens.

I know what she says about me

behind my back.

And you dare ask me if I poisoned her?

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