Beautiful Creatures

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I deliver perfection... | and don't brag about it! :D

- I know you do, Tony.

You're a totally gorgeous creature.

I love you as well. You know I do.

Can I get a kiss?

anywhere, have you?

- I came home with them.

New golf clubs in a leather golf bag.

- I'm a mysterious kind of guy.

Dead mysterious.

- Seen what?

- When did you learn to play?

- Will you teach me?

- I would've seen them.

Of course. That's why I'm telling you...

they were gone.

losing a set of golf clubs.

I haven't lost them.

I think maybe you have.

I've no interest in golf whatsoever.

- Yeah, but I was kidding.

I was joking with you.

You mean you've been lying to me?

- I have no idea.

the golf clubs?

- I haven't.

- I've pawned nothing!

- Leave me alone!

or where they went.

- Dorothy, I need my golf clubs! | - You can't play golf!

If you've moved them, tell me. | I left them in the living room.

You're saying you're going to Amsterdam | to play golf?

I don't even think Amsterdam has golf.

What do you know about Amsterdam?

What, in God's name, | do you know about golf?

Listen, you!

I know I left a bag of clubs | in the living room...

...and they weren't there | when I went to get them.

If you left a bag of clubs in the flat, | then they're in the flat.

- You're lying! | - Sh*t!

Stop!

Here, that's enough of that!

I'm going to tear that flat apart...

...and see if my golf clubs aren't there.

I swear to God | I'm going to drink your blood.

I'm sorry. Must be the golf.

It's driven him mad.

I'm awful sorry about that.

Sorry.

Pluto, my boy.

Come and see your daddy.

Tony?

Pluto?

## When marimba rhythms start to play #

# Dance with me #

# Make me sway #

# Like a lazy ocean hugs the shore #

# Hold me close #

# Sway me more #

# Like a flower bending in the breeze #

# Bend with me #

# Sway with ease ##

It's the middle of the f***ing night!

Not in Cairo, it isn't. | Not in Hong Kong, it isn't.

You think they care | it's the middle of the night here?

I've got personal things to attend to.

## Dear, but my eyes will see only you #

# Only you have the magic technique #

# When we sway I go weak #

# I can hear the sound of violins #

# Long before it begins ## | - Get in the car!

Get in the f***ing car!

You and me will start a new life this time.

No more dealers or junkies or maniacs.

We'll be long gone before he gets back.

Don't be scared, big boy.

I don't think this is going to come out.

Thank God.

You rotten, shitty bastard, Tony.

Somebody smells nice.

Don't look at me.

It's the dog.

Bloody lunatics.

An ounce of rolling tobacco | and a packet of Maltesers.

Excuse me. When you have a second.

You shouldn't read that shite | 'cause it badly exploits women.

4.29, please.

He's taken my money.

- Can I owe you? | - You mean, can you exploit me?

- I'll send it to you in the post. | - Not allowed to give credit.

I need a smoke.

I'm on the run from a maniac. | So's my dog.

That's not a very healthy color, | right enough.

Go on. I'll sub you.

Go on.

Shut up, Pluto.

Give me ten seconds to catch my dog.

F***ing disappear!

You are going nowhere!

Leave her alone!

You f***ing b*tches!

Get the f***, you f***ing b*tches!

Come here.

You're an evil, lying b*tch!

- Stop it. | - You're mine.

Brian, stop it!

Right, you're going nowhere!

Do you hear me?

I'm going to f***ing kill you!

I'll be all right in a minute.

Get my breath back.

You just get sick of listening to all that | "I'm going to f***ing kill you" stuff.

Right, I'll help you get him in the car.

What for?

So you can drive him home, call the police.

I can't drive.

And I'm not calling the police. | He's my boyfriend.

I want you gone as soon as he wakes up.

If I was you, I'd dump him here.

I can't dump him here.

I'd lose my home and my job, | and everything.

- How? | - 'Cause I work for his big brother.

F***, he's heavy, isn't he?

- I think Brian's going to be sick again. | - To the left.

Quick.

Sh*t.

Let's put him in the bath | in case he throws up over anything else.

I've never seen a pink | and white dog before.

He's half part pedigree, half part acrylic.

Really?

I've never heard of them.

Do you know of anything | I could use as a roach?

Don't make yourself too comfy. | I didn't invite you back for a party.

I'm sorry.

I'm just a little shaky. | It would help calm me down.

Have a scrounge in my rucksack.

There's bound to be something.

Fancy a cup of tea?

Yeah.

Here.

I'm Petula, by the way.

Nice grass.

You missed your bus.

Petula?

Are you okay?

It's okay. It's just the cold.

It's only when we have too much to drink.

A bit silly.

It was my own fault tonight...

...'cause he caught me | going through his desk.

I was looking for my passport.

I wanted to visit my mum.

She's moved to Majorca.

Why does he keep your passport?

Why?

'Cause he loves me.

What do you think?

I had it like that once.

- Do you think Brian will like it? | - Go on.

Trust me. It'll really suit you.

Nice surprise when he wakes up.

Petula!

Is he okay?

Brian?

Are you okay?

Brian, say something.

What is the matter with him?

Is he German?

Brian, stop it!

Shut up, Pluto.

Brian, I'm sorry.

- Is he kidding? | - Brian, please. I'm sorry.

Just slap his face gently.

Come on now. I'm really sorry.

Just give his face a gentle slap.

Don't be angry.

That's what you do to wake them up.

He's dead.

He's dead! Brian's dead.

Get out of my road!

Dear God.

Will the police be able to tell | I bashed his head in with scaffolding?

- 'Cause I didn't mean to kill him. | - I know.

- I was trying to stop him killing you. | - I know.

You wouldn't have lasted another minute...

...the way he was choking you | and whacking your head.

I'll have to spend...

...years of my life in a jail cell all by myself.

I mean, that's not fair.

I was only trying to help.

I don't even know the guy.

I was only trying to help.

What if we make an anonymous phone call | and then disappear?

We can't because I haven't got a phone.

- If we don't say who we are. | - But I haven't got a phone.

I know, but they won't be able | to trace the call.

I haven't got a phone. | We don't have a phone.

You have to go to work.

I helped you, so you have to help me.

Now, before you're late. | As though everything is hunky-dory.

Petula, wait.

You can't go yet. Take off your coat.

Phone me on Brian's phone.

Two rings, then hang up.

Then ring again immediately | so I know it's you.

Thanks for coming to help me...

...last night.

Listen. You have to give me some money.

Right. Yeah, of course.

- How much do you normally charge? | - What?

No, not for the haircut.

out the pawn shop.

If he comes back, I'll send him packing...

and stumble across your dead boyfriend.

Where's Brian?

Where is Brian?

I don't actually know where he is.

Morning.

Your Brian back on the drink again?

Then let's just pray His Lordship's met | with a particularly horrible accident.

Yes, Mr. McMinn.

I see.

Right. Yes, I'll start with Eastern General.

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