Bedazzled

Synopsis: Elliot Richardson, a socially awkward IT worker, is given seven wishes to get the girl of his dreams when he meets up with a very seductive Satan. The catch: his soul. Some of his wishes include being a 7 foot basketball star, a wealthy, powerful man, and a sensitive caring guy. But, as could be expected, the Devil must put her own little twist on each his fantasies.
Genre: Comedy, Fantasy
Director(s): Harold Ramis
Production: 20th Century Fox
  1 win & 3 nominations.
 
IMDB:
6.0
Metacritic:
49
Rotten Tomatoes:
49%
PG-13
Year:
2000
93 min
Website
6,581 Views


Synedyne Technical Support.

How can I help you?

Synedyne Technical Support.

How can I help you?

This is Elliot. How can I help you?

Oh, wow. Yeah, okay.

Give me a second to find you here.

My computer's running slow today.

Wake up, fella. There you are.

Hey, you got yourself a model 5732...

...128 megs of RAM,

You say it hangs every time you print?

Wow! All right, no problem.

Can you hold for two seconds?

Carol! Carol.

I don't know what you've been told,

but the rest of us start at 9.

Just kidding. Good morning.

Hey, Dan, my man! What's up, my bro?

Yeah, put it there! All right. Yeah.

You and the guys up

for some hoopage after work?

We don't know yet, Elliot.

I'm not sure yet, okay?

That's cool. Just let me know.

I'm there. I love the round ball.

That's why they call me " Air Elliot."

-Yeah!

-Okay.

Make sure that you let me know

the right time...

...because last week you said 6:30.

When I got there you were leaving.

I mean, how stupid did you feel?

Pretty stupid, Elliot.

No problem, Danny. Give it up.

-Hey, Daniel.

-Hey, man, how you doing?

Good, good. How you doing, man?

Hey, Bob!

-What's up?

-Hey, Elliot.

You and your posse gonna hit

the Brewery tonight?

My " posse" ? No.

They're all busy with the big--

What's with your neck?

Oh, nothing. It's a repetitive stress

disorder. It's a headset injury.

How about we knock back some suds

and check out the babes?

Elliot, I'm married, remember?

I'm gonna go home,

spend some time with my wife.

Taking a trip to Whipville.

It just gets funnier

every time you do that.

Don't, don't, don't--

Hey, Jerry!

Jerry, Jerry, bo-berry,

fee-fie-fo-ferry, Jerry!

-What's happening, brother?

-Running to an important meeting.

You'll appreciate this,

because we're stereo component nuts.

Check these out, homes.

These are the new lngebritzens.

XVC speakers.

The back of the left speaker,

the front of the right.

Sweet, sweet, sweet.

That's the front of the left--

No, that's the right....

I think-- Oh, man!

-What?

-It's Elliot.

Who told him we were here?

-Oh, sh*t.

-Did you tell him we were here?

Hi!

You guys!

I told you not to--

Well, well, well,

isn't this a big surprise?

I thought everybody was busy.

A slight change of plans.

Oh, is that right? Well, I'm

a little bit peeved at you guys.

You tried to ditch me.

I might not even sit down.

We understand. See you tomorrow.

-Later, Elliot.

-I'm kidding!

-Switch places with me.

-I'm fine.

-What?

-Oh, my goodness gracious.

You've gotta be kidding!

Don't tell me you have

a thing for Alison Gardner.

-Oh, man!

-Please.

She's way out of your league.

lsn't she dating that guy in research?

Brian, with the teeth.

Brian? The guy with the teeth.

No, that's been over

for three months now.

-Oh, yeah? How do you know that?

-I know a lot of things about her.

She likes her bagels buttered,

but not toasted.

-Wow.

-How specific.

I know that she looks beautiful in

any color, but when she wears blue....

You guys old friends?

We have been working together at

the same company for four years.

You spend time together,

you get close.

So it should be no problem

for you to just get up and say hello.

She's with somebody.

I'll catch up with her tomorrow.

Hold on, Elliot.

Come clean here. You have never

spoken to Alison Gardner, right?

Of course I have.

-Did I say " queer" earlier?

-You are pathetic, Elliot! Really.

I guess you guys won't

let me relax tonight...

...until I go say hello.

-I guess not.

-Yeah.

Well, if that'll make you happy.

You think I'm pathetic.

-Don't touch me.

-Go for it, tiger.

Good luck.

-Hi.

-Hi.

Do I know you?

Oh, I should hope so.

We've worked together at Synedyne

for the last four years.

I'm Elliot Richards.

We've spoken.

I'm sorry, I don't--

It was the first week of June,

three years ago.

I said it was wet out.

We were in the lobby,

and I said it was really wet out.

It was raining at the time.

I assume that.

Yeah.

So here we are, talking again.

Yeah.

Well, take it easy.

I'm here with friends

and I was wondering if you wanted....

Dear God, I would give anything

to have that girl in my life.

-Hi.

-Hello.

I was wondering, is--

If this is--

I was standing over there and you--

You're very glib.

I bet you're a whiz with the ladies.

-Well....

-You here alone?

No! I'm here

with some buddies from work.

I saw you talking to a woman.

Yeah, but I'm not with her.

But you'd like to be, huh?

What makes you say that?

I don't know. When a man says

he'd give anything...

...to have a woman in his life,

I assume she means something to him.

How did you hear me?

-I was standing way over--

-I have fantastic hearing.

And a number of other

equally impressive talents.

Ho-doggie!

Let's go someplace quiet

so we can talk.

Okay.... What?

You want to talk to me?

Is there a problem?

Are you not attracted to me?

No.

I think you're hot.

Baby, you have no idea.

-lKiss me.

-What? Here?

Don't be afraid

to explore new horizons.

Oh.

Can you give us two seconds, girls?

Yeah, can you give us two seconds?

Sure.

Whatever.

Listen....

You seem really nice, in a...

...strong...

...scary kind of way...

...but my friends

are probably waiting for me...

...so I'm gonna just get going.

You're so nervous, Elliot.

How do you know my name?

I'm psychic.

Plus it's on your nametag.

Duh.

Now then, I just want

to talk business for a second.

Oh, I'm not into that.

I mean, I've never paid

for sex before.

Except this one time--

The lnternet. Couldn't help it.

You sign on, it's " sex, sex, sex."

I'm not a hooker.

I want to ask you a question.

How would you like to make

one simple decision...

...that'll change your life forever?

Okay, I'm glad Scientology

works for you, but--

Just listen.

What if I told you that

I have the cataclysmic power...

...to give you anything and everything

you've always dreamed of?

Who are you?

Promise not to tell anyone?

Okay.

Cross your heart and hope to die?

I'm the Devil.

Okay.

I think somebody's had

"tee many martoonis!"

I am the Devil. Satan, Lucifer,

Beelzebub. The Prince of Darkness.

Well, the Princess of Darkness,

anyway.

Here's my card.

Oh.

" The Devil." Yep.

That explains it.

Now I believe you.

Night-night.

You're a very skeptical person,

you know that?

How did--

How did you just-- And you--

Look. If you could just buy into this

"I'm the Devil" thing...

...it'll save us a lot

of these questions.

Maybe I should call you a cab.

It'll be hard to find one

going to Hell this time of night.

Oh! What a delightfully piquant wit.

I can see we're gonna

get along famously.

Cheers, darling.

Are you-- You can't--

Look at-- Jeez!

You can't do that.

That's very dangerous!

Why is this so hard

for you to believe?

You think your parents just

made me up so you'd be good?

Okay, okay. You're the Devil.

What do you want with me?

I want you to be happy, Elliot.

You have such potential.

Rate this script:5.0 / 1 vote

Larry Gelbart

Larry Simon Gelbart (February 25, 1928 – September 11, 2009) was an American television writer, playwright, screenwriter, director and author, most famous as a creator and producer of the television series M*A*S*H, and as co-writer of Broadway musicals City of Angels and A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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