Bedknobs and Broomsticks

You there, which way

to Pepperinge Eye?

Couldn't say, sir. lt said on the

wireless to paint out the signposts

in case the Nazis drop in.

l'm not a Nazi!

l'm a British officer!

That's what you'd say

if you was a Nazi, isn't it, sir?

Drive on, corporal.

Sorry to give you so many

but you do have six bedrooms.

No trouble.

Anything to get the poor things away

from those terrible

bombings in London.

What about us?

- Oh, yes. What is your name?

- Rawlins, ma'am.

Oh, yes. Here we are. Carrie.

Charles.

Paul.

You're for Miss Price.

l'm expecting her in.

- Call out the navy

- l won't be a moment.

Please don't touch anything.

Call out the tanks

From the Cliffs of Dover,

call up the gulls

And don't forget

the loyal territorials

But who's digging in here?

Who will defend

Every inch of England,

no matter what they send?

Who's standing firm

in our own front yard?

The soldiers of the Old Home Guard,

that's who

The soldiers of the Old Home Guard

We wrote the story

of the old brigades

We know the glory

of yesterday's parades

Who's standing firm

in our own front yard?

The soldiers of the Old Home Guard,

that's who

The soldiers of the Old Home Guard

- Halt!

- Carry on, sergeant.

Captain Greer, sir,

from headquarters at Tidbury,

here to check military preparations.

Tell them Pepperinge Eye

has matters well in hand.

Nevertheless, l...

What on earth is that?

Good morning, General.

l received your message, Mrs Hobday.

- l assume my parcel has arrived.

- lt's in the office.

How lovely.

- Who is that?

- Miss Price. Splendid woman.

Her late father served with me.

What does she burn in this?

lt smells like sulphur.

Ridiculous! One can't make

motor fuel out of sulphur!

Here we are. Another object from

Professor Emelius Browne in London.

- Thank you.

- ls it what you expected?

- l imagine so.

- He sent you a cat last time.

- Professor Browne is well?

- l haven't the faintest idea.

Are we to have

the pleasure of meeting him?

l doubt it. l don't know

Professor Browne personally.

- Was there something else?

- Yes. Would you come this way?

- l'm very anxious to get home.

- Come along, please.

- Get down, Charlie. l want a ride!

- Bash him one!

Stop it this instant!

Children, this is Miss Price.

Carrie, Charles and Paul Rawlins,

all the way from London.

- How do you do?

- How are you, miss?

The government are trying to evacuate

children into the country.

- Very sensible.

- Today they sent us 45.

And l've had to find homes

for all of them at very short notice.

These are the last three. All right,

children. Pick up your things.

You're not suggesting l take

these children into my house?

- Exactly.

- That's quite out of the question.

Children and l don't get on.

l'll believe you, miss.

Come on. Back to London.

Be quiet.

Besides, l have important work to do.

Miss Price, you do have

that entire house to yourself.

According to the Ministry of

Civil Defence, you have no choice.

l see.

lf that is the case

l shall take them into my house,

with the understanding that you find

another home as soon as possible.

Fine. Come along.

Good morning, Miss Price.

There they are!

Oh, Miss Price, what a charitable

thing you are doing,

taking in these

poor unfortunates from the city.

- Hold this very carefully.

- l wonder if l may drop by later.

- Why?

- Consider their spiritual needs.

That won't be necessary.

They won't be with me for long.

My parcel, please.

Bring your things inside.

- Bit murky, ain't it?

- Yeah.

Not another house

round here for miles.

- Wipe your feet.

- Big place, this.

- Who else lives here?

- l live alone.

lt suits my purpose.

All right. Come along, everybody.

Sorry, miss. The cat startled us.

No need for alarm.

You just frightened him.

Yeah, he's scared to death.

You can see that!

- What do you call your cat?

- l don't give animals silly names.

l call him Cosmic Creepers

because that's the name he came with.

You will sleep in here.

This was my father's bedroom.

Be very careful of everything in it.

- You boys take the bed there.

- All right, miss.

- What was your name?

- Carrie, miss.

- You sleep in the sofa in there.

- Thank you, miss.

- ls that all you brought?

- We ain't exactly burdened down.

Travel light, that's us.

l don't think this is going to work

but it seems

that l have no alternative.

We'll do our best, miss.

Really, we will.

Thank you, Carrie.

The bathroom is along the landing.

- Supper is at 6:00. You will wash...

- Wash?

You will wash yourselves

otherwise there will be no supper.

ls that clear?

A house of horror.

That's what we've come to.

Please don't bother to whisper.

l'm exceptionally keen of hearing.

You are planning

to run back to London.

Please do your plotting elsewhere

where l shan't have to listen to it.

l don't know much

about what children eat.

You'll have to make do as l do.

ls there anything in particular

that you fancy?

Sausage and mash,

bubble and squeak,

toad in the hole, fried fish...

Anything at all.

You won't find any fried foods

in this house.

- No fried food?

- No.

How do you keep your health?

Cabbage buds, rosehips,

hyssop seed, elm bark,

wattle yeast and stewed nettles.

''Dear Madam. With this shipment,

the Emelius Browne

College of Witchcraft

sends you its

congratulations

on qualifying for the first degree

of your chosen calling.''

''You may now call yourself

'apprentice witch'.''

''Yours faithfully, Emelius Browne.''

My first broom.

Time to go. Everybody up.

Wake up, Paul.

We're going back to London.

Let's see how we fly this thing.

Here we are.

''Clasp the broom with both hands.''

Yes, of course.

''Never astride the broom.''

Oh, yes, of course.

''A witch is always a lady unless

circumstances dictate otherwise.''

''Take an easy, graceful

sideways position.''

Of course, that's much better.

An easy, graceful sideways position.

There we are. How's that?

''To start up the broom,

your basic formula:

La kipo necriff scrumpet leech!''

l wasn't ready!

Now watch this.

Here we go.

lt's going to be

a little different this time.

All right. l know it's not ladylike.

What's the matter?

- How does she do that?

- She's a witch.

That's the sort of thing witches do.

She don't fly good, do she?

- She's crashed!

- Now's our chance to hop it!

- Suppose she's hurt.

- Go on! You can't hurt a witch.

Look out!

She's proper cross now.

Let's get away from here.

Hang on. l'm having a bit of a think.

A witch she is, says you.

Then let's use the old loaf, says l.

- Let's get back to London.

- What we have here is an opportunity.

She don't want anyone

to know she's a witch, does she?

- Not ruddy likely.

- That's the opportunity.

And l intend to make

the most of it. Come on.

- Bran porridge.

- Thank you, miss.

Very healthful, l'm sure!

- Hurt your foot, Miss Price?

- Just twisted my ankle.

- Sorry to hear that.

- Thank you. lt's nothing serious.

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