Bedknobs and Broomsticks Page #2

Lovely weather for flying last night.

Why did you say that, Charles?

Game's up, Miss Price.

We know what you are.

l see.

Don't worry, Miss Price.

No one's gonna peach on you.

Thank you. l should be most grateful

if you didn't tell anyone.

Course there would have to be one

or two little changes made round here.

l mean, l'd like to see an occasional

sausage on the table here.

- A bit of strawberry jam.

- Charlie!

Let me handle this.

And another thing, Miss Price.

There will be no more of this wash,

wash, wash, morning and night.

Anything else?

Now you mention it,

l could do with a bit of lolly.

Lolly?

Cash. Cold, hard cash.

You must have buckets of it.

The most accomplished of witches

can't make money out of thin air.

Have you ever heard of a rich witch?

Be that as it may,

you don't want us to blab, do you?

Have you considered

what danger you might be in?

l am a witch, you know.

What will you do?

Turn me into a toad?

Lovely. A toad with pink eyes.

- l might just do that.

- Go on, then. l dare you.

Very well, Charles.

- You shouldn't have said that to her.

- She don't frighten me.

She can't even ride a proper broom.

Excuse me, Charles.

Filigree, apogee,

pedigree, perigee.

Oh, Charlie!

That's better than a toad!

That's a rabbit!

Bother! l never seem

to be able to manage toads.

Stop! Leave him alone!

- Don't let Charlie get hurt.

- My spells don't last very long.

l'm just an apprentice witch.

Look out, Charlie!

You flaming brute!

l'll teach you to do that to me!

Let Cosmic Creepers alone.

Weren't his fault.

l'm afraid it's my fault.

Bad enough not being able

to manage a broom.

l can't perform

a simple, basic spell.

You dared her to do it.

l don't see why we can't all be friends.

Maybe she's not a wicked witch.

Of course l'm not!

- See?

- lf only l could trust you.

You see, the work l'm doing

is so important to the war effort.

- How do you mean?

- l mean exceptionally important.

Most secret.

What do you say, Charlie?

We can keep a secret.

Yeah. lf someone

made it worth our while.

l don't follow.

Simple. You give us something

valuable to seal the pact.

Oh, Charlie,

don't try to be clever again.

lt's for our own protection,

ain't it?

lf we broke the pact, we'd have

to give back the valuable object.

l think it's an excellent idea.

l wonder what l could give you.

Would you settle for one of my spells?

Bet that's not worth much.

Come with me.

- l like you better as a rabbit.

- Shut up, you.

Well, l never had a rabbit.

Careful what you touch in here.

Rum sort of place, ain't it?

When l signed for my witchcraft

course there was a free bonus,

a marvellous travelling spell

if you paid in advance.

l think l'll give you that one.

- ls it valuable?

- Certainly.

Poisoned dragon's liver?

You mean you poison the dragon

or just the liver?

lt comes prepared.

lt's part of the school equipment.

Here we are. The travelling spell.

Everybody gather round.

All right now. Let's see.

Does any one of you have

a bracelet or a ring?

- Something that you can twist.

- No, Miss Price.

- What about you, Paul?

- Always carry a few things around.

Never know when they might come

in useful. Piece of blue glass.

Lovely bit of string.

Horseshoe nail.

What's that?

Knob from the bed upstairs.

- lt twists, don't it?

- Yeah. Twisted right off.

Yes, l think that will be all right.

Carrie, turn the light down

a little bit, will you?

Hellebore, henbane, aconite...

glow-worm fire, firefly light!

There. lsn't that pretty?

ls that all we get?

This knob will now work

the famous travelling spell.

And what's

the famous travelling spell?

- How does it work?

- You take this knob

and put it back on the bed upstairs.

Then turn it smartly

a quarter turn to the left

then in a firm, clear voice,

tell it where you want to go

and the bed will take you there.

Go on!

- Will it really?

- l see no reason to think otherwise.

Thank you for the lovely gift.

Sorry, but it belongs to Paul. He's the

only one who can work the spell.

- Me?

- Yes.

That's right. My knob, weren't it?

That's the way the spell works.

Nice mess he'll make of things.

Oh, bother.

You children run upstairs.

Don't try anything with the bedknob

till l get back.

''Dear Madam,

it grieves me to inform you

that we have been forced to close

down our College of Witchcraft.''

''This means that we shall not

be sending you the final lesson

in which you expressed

so much interest.''

- What's keeping you?

- l've had some very bad news.

ls there anything we can do?

No. No, thank you.

Yes.

Yes, there is something

that Paul can do.

- Me?

- l need the bedknob back.

- l must get to London.

- No. l want to go to the jungle.

Come with me, Paul.

Now, Paul.

Ridiculous as it may seem

to have to explain this

to a six-year-old,

- l do need your help.

- Go ahead.

l was expecting

a very important spell in the mail

from my teacher, Professor Emelius

Browne, and it hasn't come.

What's that got to do with my knob?

l must go to London immediately

and see Professor Browne.

With his help, we may be able

to bring this war to a successful end.

That is why l need the knob.

What is your decision?

Thank you, Paul.

l brought this for your hair.

lt may be windy.

Thank you. lt's ever so nice.

Paul, have you been

to the bathroom?

- Twice.

- Good.

Charles, put on something warmer.

The bed may travel quite fast.

l'm not going.

l'm staying right here.

But why?

All that rubbish about a travelling bed.

lt won't work. That's why.

Carrie, help me to pull the bed out.

We don't want to scratch the wall

when we take off.

How's a ruddy big bed like that

gonna get out of this room

with those little windows?

l don't know. There's a great many

things about magic that l don't know.

- We'll just have to find out.

- Lovely!

Just leave me out of it.

l don't fancy

making a fool of myself.

What's come over you lately, Charlie?

You're no fun any more.

Help me tidy up. We don't want

to go to London with an unmade bed.

- How old is Charles?

- Eleven, going on twelve.

l see. That's what my father used

to call the age of not believing.

What's that supposed to be?

When you rush around

in hopeless circles

Searching everywhere

for something true

You're at the age of not believing

When all the make-believe

is through

That's Charlie to a tee.

When you set aside

your childhood heroes

And your dreams are lost

upon a shelf

You're at the age of not believing

And worst of all you doubt yourself

Throw that away.

You're a castaway

where no one hears you

On a barren isle in a lonely sea

What's that? Poetry?

Where did all the happy endings go?

Where can all the good times be?

Everyone on the bed who's going.

You must face the age

of not believing

Doubting everything you ever knew

The knob.

Until at last you start believing

There's something wonderful in you

Lovely sentiment, l'm sure.

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