Bee Movie Page #7

Barry:
Do these look like rumors?

(Holds up the pictures)

Uncle Carl:
That's a conspiracy theory. These are obviously doctored photos.

Janet:
How did you get mixed up in this?

Adam:
He's been talking to humans.

Janet:
What?

Martin:
Talking to humans?!

Adam:
He has a human girlfriend. And they make out!

Janet:
Make out? Barry!

Barry:
We do not.

Adam:
You wish you could.

Martin:
Whose side are you on?

Barry:
The bees!

Uncle Carl:
(He has been sitting in the back of the room this entire time) I dated a cricket once in San Antonio. Those crazy legs kept me up all night.

Janet:
Barry, this is what you want to do with your life?

Barry:
I want to do it for all our lives. Nobody works harder than bees! Dad, I remember you coming home so overworked your hands were still stirring. You couldn't stop.

Janet:
I remember that.

Barry:
What right do they have to our honey? We live on two cups a year. They put it in lip balm for no reason whatsoever!

Adam:
Even if it's true, what can one bee do?

Barry:
Sting them where it really hurts.

Martin:
In the face! The eye! That would hurt.

Barry:
No.

Martin:
Up the nose? That's a killer.

Barry:
There's only one place you can sting the humans, one place where it matters.

(Flash forward a bit in time and we are watching the Bee News)

Bee News Narrator: Hive at Five, the hive's only full-hour action news source.

Bee Protestor:
No more bee beards!

Bee News Narrator: With Bob Bumble at the anchor desk. Weather with Storm Stinger. Sports with Buzz Larvi. And Jeanette Chung.

Bob:
Good evening. I'm Bob Bumble.

Jeanette:
And I'm Jeanette Chung.

Bob:
A tri-county bee, Barry Benson, intends to sue the human race for stealing our honey, packaging it and profiting from it illegally!

Jeanette:
Tomorrow night on Bee Larry King, we'll have three former queens here in our studio, discussing their new book, Classy Ladies, out this week on Hexagon.

(The scene changes to an interview on the news with Bee version of Larry King and Barry)

Bee Larry King:
Tonight we're talking to Barry Benson. Did you ever think, "I'm a kid from the hive. I can't do this"?

Barry:
Bees have never been afraid to change the world. What about Bee Columbus? Bee Gandhi? Bejesus?

Bee Larry King:
Where I'm from, we'd never sue humans. We were thinking of stickball or candy stores.

Barry:
How old are you?

Bee Larry King:
The bee community is supporting you in this case, which will be the trial of the bee century.

Barry:
You know, they have a Larry King in the human world too.

Bee Larry King:
It's a common name. Next week...

Barry:
He looks like you and has a show and suspenders and colored dots...

Bee Larry King:
Next week...

Barry:
Glasses, quotes on the bottom from the guest even though you just heard 'em.

Bee Larry King:
Bear Week next week! They're scary, hairy and here, live.

(Bee Larry King gets annoyed and flies away offscreen)

Barry:
Always leans forward, pointy shoulders, squinty eyes, very Jewish.

(Flash forward in time. We see Vanessa enter and Ken enters behind her. They are arguing)

Ken:
In tennis, you attack at the point of weakness!

Vanessa:
It was my grandmother, Ken. She's 81.

Ken:
Honey, her backhand's a joke! I'm not gonna take advantage of that?

Barry:
(To Ken) Quiet, please. Actual work going on here.

Ken:
(Pointing at Barry) Is that that same bee?

Vanessa:
Yes, it is! I'm helping him sue the human race.

Barry:
Hello.

Ken:
Hello, bee.

Vanessa:
This is Ken.

Barry:
(Recalling the "Winter Boots" incident earlier) Yeah, I remember you. Timberland, size ten and a half. Vibram sole, I believe.

Ken:
(To Vanessa) Why does he talk again?

Vanessa:
Listen, you better go 'cause we're really busy working.

Ken:
But it's our yogurt night!

Vanessa:
(Holding door open for Ken) Bye-bye.

Ken:
(Yelling) Why is yogurt night so difficult?!

(Ken leaves and Vanessa walks over to Barry. His workplace is a mess)

Vanessa:
You poor thing. You two have been at this for hours!

Barry:
Yes, and Adam here has been a huge help.

Adam:
Frosting... How many sugars?

Barry:
Just one. I try not to use the competition. So why are you helping me?

Vanessa:
Bees have good qualities. And it takes my mind off the shop. Instead of flowers, people are giving balloon bouquets now.

Barry:
Those are great, if you're three.

Vanessa:
And artificial flowers.

Barry:
Oh, those just get me psychotic!

Vanessa:
Yeah, me too.

Barry:
Bent stingers, pointless pollination.

Adam:
Bees must hate those fake things! Nothing worse than a daffodil that's had work done. Maybe this could make up for it a little bit.

Vanessa:
This lawsuit's a pretty big deal.

Barry:
I guess.

Adam:
You sure you want to go through with it?

Barry:
Am I sure? When I'm done with the humans, they won't be able to say, "Honey, I'm home," without paying a royalty!

(Flash forward in time and we are watching the human news. The camera shows a crowd outside a courthouse)

News Reporter:
It's an incredible scene here in downtown Manhattan, where the world anxiously waits, because for the first time in history, we will hear for ourselves if a honeybee can actually speak.

(We are no longer watching through a news camera)

Adam:
What have we gotten into here, Barry?

Barry:
It's pretty big, isn't it?

Adam:
(Looking at the hundreds of people around the courthouse) I can't believe how many humans don't work during the day.

Barry:
You think billion-dollar multinational food companies have good lawyers?

Security Guard:
Everybody needs to stay behind the barricade.

(A limousine drives up and a fat man,Layton Montgomery, a honey industry owner gets out and walks past Barry)

Adam:
What's the matter?

Barry:
I don't know, I just got a chill.

(Fast forward in time and everyone is in the court)

Montgomery:
Well, if it isn't the bee team. (To Honey Industry lawyers) You boys work on this?

Man:
All rise! The Honorable Judge Bumbleton presiding.

Judge Bumbleton:
All right. Case number 4475, Superior Court of New York, Barry Bee Benson v. the Honey Industry is now in session. Mr. Montgomery, you're representing the five food companies collectively?

Montgomery:
A privilege.

Judge Bumbleton:
Mr. Benson... you're representing all the bees of the world?

(Everyone looks closely, they are waiting to see if a Bee can really talk)

(Barry makes several buzzing sounds to sound like a Bee)

Barry:
I'm kidding. Yes, Your Honor, we're ready to proceed.

Judge Bumbleton:
Mr. Montgomery, your opening statement, please.

Montgomery:
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, my grandmother was a simple woman. Born on a farm, she believed it was man's divine right to benefit from the bounty of nature God put before us. If we lived in the topsy-turvy world Mr. Benson imagines, just think of what would it mean. I would have to negotiate with the silkworm for the elastic in my britches! Talking bee!

(Montgomery walks over and looks closely at Barry)

Montgomery:
How do we know this isn't some sort of holographic motion-picture-capture Hollywood wizardry? They could be using laser beams! Robotics! Ventriloquism! Cloning! For all we know, he could be on steroids!

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