Bee Movie Page #9

Barry:
Ken, I'm wearing a Chapstick hat! This is pathetic!

(Ken switches the shower head to lethal)

Ken:
I've got issues!

(Ken sprays Barry with the shower head and he crash lands into the toilet)

(Ken menacingly looks down into the toilet at Barry)

Ken:
Well, well, well, a royal flush!

Barry:
You're bluffing.

Ken:
Am I? (flushes toilet)

(Barry grabs a chapstick from the toilet seat and uses it to surf in the flushing toilet)

Barry:
Surf's up, dude!

(Barry flies out of the toilet on the chapstick and sprays Ken's face with the toilet water)

Barry:
That bowl is gnarly.

Ken:
(Aiming a toilet cleaner at Barry) Except for those dirty yellow rings!

(Barry cowers and covers his head and Vanessa runs in and takes the toilet cleaner from Ken just before he hits Barry)

Vanessa:
Kenneth! What are you doing?!

Ken:
(Leaning towards Barry) You know, I don't even like honey! I don't eat it!

Vanessa:
We need to talk!

(Vanessa pulls Ken out of the bathroom)

Vanessa:
He's just a little bee! And he happens to be the nicest bee I've met in a long time!

Ken:
Long time? What are you talking about?! Are there other bugs in your life?

Vanessa:
No, but there are other things bugging me in life. And you're one of them!

Ken:
Fine! Talking bees, no yogurt night... My nerves are fried from riding on this emotional roller coaster!

Vanessa:
Goodbye, Ken.

(Ken huffs and walks out and slams the door. But suddenly he walks back in and stares at Barry)

Vanessa:
And for your information, I prefer sugar-free, artificial sweeteners MADE BY MAN!

(Ken leaves again and Vanessa leans in towards Barry)

Vanessa:
I'm sorry about all that.

(Ken walks back in again)

Ken:
I know it's got an aftertaste! I LIKE IT!

(Ken leaves for the last time)

Vanessa:
I always felt there was some kind of barrier between Ken and me. I couldn't overcome it. Oh, well. Are you OK for the trial?

Barry:
I believe Mr. Montgomery is about out of ideas.

(Flash forward in time and Barry, Adam, and Vanessa are back in court)

Montgomery:
We would like to call Mr. Barry Benson Bee to the stand.

Adam:
Good idea! You can really see why he's considered one of the best lawyers...

(Barry stares at Adam)

Adam:
...Yeah.

Lawyer:
Layton, you've gotta weave some magic with this jury, or it's gonna be all over.

Montgomery:
Don't worry. The only thing I have to do to turn this jury around is to remind them of what they don't like about bees. (To lawyer) You got the tweezers?

Lawyer:
Are you allergic?

Montgomery:
Only to losing, son. Only to losing. Mr. Benson Bee, I'll ask you what I think we'd all like to know. What exactly is your relationship (Points to Vanessa) to that woman?

Barry:
We're friends.

Montgomery:
Good friends?

Barry:
Yes.

Montgomery:
How good? Do you live together?

Adam:
Wait a minute...

Montgomery:
Are you her little......bedbug?

(Adam's stinger starts vibrating. He is agitated)

Montgomery:
I've seen a bee documentary or two. From what I understand, doesn't your queen give birth to all the bee children?

Barry:
Yeah, but...

Montgomery:
(Pointing at Janet and Martin) So those aren't your real parents!

Janet:
Oh, Barry...

Barry:
Yes, they are!

Adam:
Hold me back!

(Vanessa tries to hold Adam back. He wants to sting Montgomery)

Montgomery:
You're an illegitimate bee, aren't you, Benson?

Adam:
He's denouncing bees!

Montgomery:
Don't y'all date your cousins?

(Montgomery leans over on the jury stand and stares at Adam)

Vanessa:
Objection!

(Vanessa raises her hand to object but Adam gets free. He flies straight at Montgomery)

Adam:
I'm going to pincushion this guy!

Barry:
Adam, don't! It's what he wants!

(Adam stings Montgomery in the butt and he starts thrashing around)

Montgomery:
Oh, I'm hit!! Oh, lordy, I am hit!

Judge Bumbleton:
(Banging gavel) Order! Order!

Montgomery:
(Overreacting) The venom! The venom is coursing through my veins! I have been felled by a winged beast of destruction! You see? You can't treat them like equals! They're striped savages! Stinging's the only thing they know! It's their way!

Barry:
Adam, stay with me.

Adam:
I can't feel my legs.

Montgomery:
(Overreacting and throwing his body around the room) What angel of mercy will come forward to suck the poison from my heaving buttocks?

Judge Bumbleton:
I will have order in this court. Order! Order, please!

(Flash forward in time and we see a human news reporter)

News Reporter:
The case of the honeybees versus the human race took a pointed turn against the bees yesterday when one of their legal team stung Layton T. Montgomery.

(Adam is laying in a hospital bed and Barry flies in to see him)

Barry:
Hey, buddy.

Adam:
Hey.

Barry:
Is there much pain?

Adam:
Yeah. I...I blew the whole case, didn't I?

Barry:
It doesn't matter. What matters is you're alive. You could have died.

Adam:
I'd be better off dead. Look at me.

(A small plastic sword is replaced as Adam's stinger)

Adam:
They got it from the cafeteria downstairs, in a tuna sandwich. Look, there's a little celery still on it.

(Flicks off the celery and sighs)

Barry:
What was it like to sting someone?

Adam:
I can't explain it. It was all... All adrenaline and then... and then ecstasy!

Barry:
...All right.

Adam:
You think it was all a trap?

Barry:
Of course. I'm sorry I flew us right into this. What were we thinking? Look at us. We're just a couple of bugs in this world.

Adam:
What will the humans do to us if they win?

Barry:
I don't know.

Adam:
I hear they put the roaches in motels. That doesn't sound so bad.

Barry:
Adam, they check in, but they don't check out!

Adam:
Oh, my. (Coughs) Could you get a nurse to close that window?

Barry:
Why?

Adam:
The smoke.

(We can see that two humans are smoking cigarettes outside)

Adam:
Bees don't smoke.

Barry:
Right. Bees don't smoke. Bees don't smoke! But some bees are smoking. That's it! That's our case!

Adam:
It is? It's not over?

Barry:
Get dressed. I've gotta go somewhere. Get back to the court and stall. Stall any way you can.

(Flash forward in time and Adam is making a paper boat in the courtroom)

Adam:
And assuming you've done step 29 correctly, you're ready for the tub!

(We see that the jury have each made their own paper boats after being taught how by Adam. They all look confused)

Judge Bumbleton:
Mr. Flayman.

Adam:
Yes? Yes, Your Honor!

Judge Bumbleton:
Where is the rest of your team?

Adam:
(Continues stalling) Well, Your Honor, it's interesting. Bees are trained to fly haphazardly, and as a result, we don't make very good time. I actually heard a funny story about...

Montgomery:
Your Honor, haven't these ridiculous bugs taken up enough of this court's valuable time? How much longer will we allow these absurd shenanigans to go on? They have presented no compelling evidence to support their charges against my clients, who run legitimate businesses. I move for a complete dismissal of this entire case!

Judge Bumbleton:
Mr. Flayman, I'm afraid I'm going to have to consider Mr. Montgomery's motion.

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