Beethoven Page #3

They have a tendency to turn on people...

...attack without provocation.

l only mention this|because you have children.

Good boy!

George, come on.|Beethoven isn`t even remotely dangerous.

He`d never hurt the kids.

He might take a bite out of you, though.

First snarl, first any kind of weirdness|and he`s gone.

Weirdness? What should l watch for,|his wearing my clothes around the house?

Good boy!

You guys are gonna love Devonia.

l don`t need a baby-sitter.

How come you gotta|go back to work, anyway?

There`s no point of us|going into this with a bad attitude.

Hi there, you little cutie!

Don`t you worry about a thing.|We`re gonna get along great. Right, kids?

l`ll be back before dinner,|so it`s not that long.

We`re gonna do neat stuff.

l was hopin` we could sing a tune together.|You like music?

What kind of music?

How about Herb Alpert|and the Tijuana Brass? Oh, sorry.

l am a nut for the disco beat!

Okay, kids, be good.

-You`ve had some time to think and--|-And we made our decision.

We wanna get in bed|with Newton Auto Air Fresheners.

Excellent! That`s just great!

-Thank you very much.|-As quickly as possible.

We can meet our lawyers today|and have the papers drawn up.

That`s excellent!

Let us take you out to dinner.

Are there any good restaurants|in this burg?

Restaurants. What?

-Why don`t you come to our house?|-We`ll barbecue.

Barbecue! Let`s live dangerously!

Well, our food may not be great,|but it`s not dangerous.

l hope it`s better than this espresso.

Help!

Help, somebody!

l love you, too.

Thanks, Beethoven. You saved my life.

But you better go home now.|Mom said to stay in the backyard.

You kids might be interested to know|that l am a performer...

...Saturday nights at the Padded Zebra.

Gosh! Emily`s in the pool!

The pool?

-Emily!|-What are you doing in the pool?

Get out this instant.|You want to get me into trouble?

-Emily, are you all right?|-l fell in.

Oh, Emily, you must`ve been so scared!

l thought l was gonna die.

You poor little thing.

Now, you were never|in any real danger, were you?

We don`t want you to get into trouble,|so we`ll let this be our little secret.

l`d like to call my mother, please.

-Your mother?|-lmmediately.

She must`ve snuck out|while l was watching Ted and Ryce.

lt was hot out, so l guess|she wanted to take a little swim.

Where were you|while this was happening?

Where l was supposed to be,|inside watching the other two.

lf Emily had stayed where l put her,|none of this would`ve happened.

lf you ask me, what these children need|is a little discipline.

What these children need is their mother.

You`re fired.

-Honey, it was an accident.|-So what?

lt is just that we had a bad baby-sitter.

We`ll find somebody responsible|to look after the kids.

-Over my dead body.|-Come on.

We`re fine on our own.|You don`t have to entertain us.

Do you have any kids?

We have a career.

Big one.

Excuse us.

-Brats.|-Monsters.

lf we pull this off...

...in six months we will own|Newton Auto Air Fresheners.

Touch it.

Sorry for the delay.

-We--|-No problem.

-Vegetables. Here you go.|-Look at that.

-Here`s the paperwork, Giorgio.|-l`ve got my own chair, honey.

-Look at that.|-You gonna do that now, honey?

Alicia.

-Alice.|-Alice.

l`m sorry. Alice.|Could l have a refill, please?

Sure.

Thank you.

Just right down at the bottom, George.

-This is everything we`ve discussed?|-Yes, exactly.

Right at the bottom, you can sign.

Don`t sign that now.|Let`s have something to eat?

-You can read it over--|-Alice, tell me about your dog.

Well, he`s a dog.

He sure is! Hello, cutesy-ootsy.

-He`s a St. Bernard.|-He`s a purebred St. Bernard, isn`t he?

Hello. Look at that big old tongue|you`ve got! Yes!

Look at that. Come here. Oh, yeah.

You wanna come with Mommy and Daddy?|Yes, you do.

Come on.|We`ll come to Mommy and Daddy.

Come on. Come on.

l just love these big, dumb animals.

l bet you do.

Dogs obey so much better|than children, don`t they?

Come here. Look, cutesy-ootsy-oogy.

Mama just loves|this great big doggie-woggie.

The places for you to sign...

...are marked by that blue clip right there.

This are all standard stuff?

You sure you wanna|`"signee-wignee`" right now?

Alice, l`m sorry.

l`ve got that. You be careful.|l don`t want you to break a nail.

Right down there where the blue arrow is.

Right there.

Honey, you sit. l`ve got this.

You guys don`t seem|to have made a good impression.

-l`m crushed.|-Me, too.

l`ll cry all night.

l don`t like `em either. But these people|are important to Dad`s business.

l hope Beethoven slimes that lady`s dress.

lf you don`t want our capital...

...we could find another investment|somewhere else.

-Sure!|-No, no, no.

-Beethoven, down, down.|-ls there some problem?

-No, no.|-Did l miss anything?

No. Giorgio has gone over all the papers...

...and he`s about to sign.

Just standard stuff, really.

Will you get outta here, you mutt!

l pitched in college.

Beethoven, stop!

Bad dog!

Sit! Stop! Stay!

Oh, no!

Beethoven!

l really don`t like our dog.

l really don`t like those people.

l don`t trust them.

l don`t want their money.

l know my opinion doesn`t matter,|but l`m not interested in expanding.

lf l had been home instead|of helping you impress those morons...

...Emily wouldn`t have fallen in the pool.

And l`m not re-entering the workforce.

You`re gonna have to do this on your own.

And you will.

Somehow you`ll make your fortune.

And tucked away behind you, deep|in the shadows, will be me and the kids.

That`s how you see me.|Suddenly l`m a lousy husband and father.

Everything was fine|until Beethoven came into our lives.

l`ve tried to be patient, but l`ve had it.

The dog has to go.

l`m proud of Beethoven.

Those two idiots insulted your kids|and treated me like dirt.

He was the only one who had the nerve|to give them the ride they deserved.

l`m going to bed.

My dream`s going down the drain,|and you`re worried about a dog.

Your family`s going down the drain,|and you`re worried about a dream.

Why do we gotta be so quiet?

You`re a big boy!

-Sit down.|-We made you breakfast, Dad.

-Scrambled eggs the way you like them.|-l fed Beethoven.

We washed him, too.

You should smell him.

l`ll walk Beethoven every day.

We divided up the dog chores so you won`t|have to do anything for Beethoven.

l see.

ls there anything else you need?|Anything else at all?

No, thank you. l`m fine.

l dropped part of an eggshell in there.

Chew carefully, Dad.

Okay, fine. Great, Ryce.|l`m gonna get that thing.

-That leaf`s mine.|-l get the next one!

Okay, fine. Get that question box.

Give me five.

Shake.

Mrs. Newton.

-Yes.|-l`m Dr. Varnick, the veterinarian.

l`m sorry to trouble you,|but l wonder if l might come in?

Sure. Come in.

With animals as large as yours...

...l like to do a follow-up on rabies shots|just to see how he`s doing.

-lt`s nice of you to come down here.|-No trouble at all.

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