Beetlejuice Page #4

BARBARA tests her arm by turning it in the shoulder socket. She

clenches and unclenches her fist. They work fine.

BARBARA:

Works.

ADAM opens the door and steps out onto the front porch.

EXT:
FRONT PORCH -- TWILIGHT

A gorgeous sunset. ADAM's face is painted with the color. He

stands at the top of the steps leading down to the front yard.

BARBARA stands just inside the open threshold, looking out

worriedly.

ADAM:

(Quiet sarcasm) The end

of a perfect day.

ADAM starts to step down to the yard.

BARBARA:

But we can't be dead.

We're here!

ADAM steps off the last step into the yard and promptly

disappears.

BARBARA:

Adam!

EXT:
THE GREAT VOID

ADAM is nowhere. There's no ground, no sky, nothing to stand on

or hold onto or give boundaries or distance. Just vast nothing.

Not white and not colored either. Noise of a CLOCK TICKING.

ADAM looks about in surprise, and doesn't like what he doesn't

see. He turns right around to head back up the steps.

There are no steps.

ADAM:

Barbara?

He runs off a little in the distance, and calls again from over

there.

ADAM:

(Quietly) Where are you,

darling?

He goes even farther away.

IN THE FOREGROUND --

an enormous geared wheel -- the size of a man -- rolls by,

tearing up the unseamed ground. Something pours up out of the

tear -- ooze or stuffing.

ADAM runs forward and stares after the wheel, which is now out

of sight.

TWO SMALLER GEARS --

looking very much like components of a giant watch -- spin along

behind him. One of them veers suddenly towards him, and though

ADAM jumps out of the way, the gear snags his trouser leg and

shreds it.

A PERFECTLY ENORMOUS GEAR --

comes barrelling towards him. ADAM leaps out of its way. The

gear turns, fish-tailing, kicking up ooze and stuffing.

ADAM flings himself suddenly to the right, but trips into the

path of the gear. As he's about to be crushed, he's suddenly

jerked up to safety.

EXT:
FRONT PORCH -- NIGHT

It's BARBARA who's grabbed him, and quite evidently saved his --

not life, perhaps -- but existence. He's shaken, breathless.

BARBARA stares at him, as if wondering what he's just been

through.

ADAM:

(Weakly) You saved my --

uh -- something.

BARBARA:

Two hours.

ADAM:

What?

BARBARA:

That's how long you were

gone.

Over WINTER RIVER, the Independence Day fireworks explode. ADAM

and BARBARA's faces are painted with the light.

INT:
LIVING ROOM -- NIGHT

BARBARA leads ADAM into the house.

ADAM:

Anything happen while I

was away?

BARBARA:

I made a couple of small

discoveries.

She is standing in front of the mirror over the hearth mantel.

On the mantel is BARBARA's prized collection of porcelain horses.

ADAM comes to stand beside her. They look into the mirror, and

there is no reflection of them.

BARBARA picks up one of the horses, and trots it through the air.

The horse is imaged in the mirror.

BARBARA:

There's that, and there's

this.

She points to a book that is sitting on the coffee-table. It's a

massive sheaf of indexed pages in a bureaucratic-looking binder.

It looks like this year's tax code.

CU:
Its title is HANDBOOK FOR THE RECENTLY DECEASED.

BARBARA:

I don't know where this

came from.

INT:
BEDROOM -- NIGHT

ADAM is already in bed, reading from the Handbook. BARBARA is

walking about the room, getting ready for bed. It's evident that

they're going through a ritual of sorts that they practiced every

night of their married lives.

BARBARA:

I don't like situations like

this. I hate it when I'm not

in control. So just tell me

the basics.

ADAM:

What do you want to know?

BARBARA:

There are a thousand things

we want to know. Is this a

punishment? Or is it a re-

ward? Are we halfway to

heaven or are we halfway

to hell? Why did you dis-

appear when you walked off

the front porch? And how long

is it going to last? That's

for starters.

ADAM:

This book isn't arranged

that way.

INSERT:
WARNING PAGE IN BOOK (as ADAM reads:)

ADAM (cont)

Warning. Proceed step by

step through this manual.

Do not begin on Section

Two until you have fully

mastered the concepts con-

tained in Section One.

BARBARA:

Then start with Section One.

ADAM turns the page and reads aloud.

ADAM:

(Reading) Section One.

Behavior at the Funeral.

Paragraph One. Lie very

still.

BARBARA:

That's starting at the

beginning all right.

Anyway, we didn't have

a funeral... that I can

remember.

ADAM:

I think I'm going to skip

ahead a few pages.

BARBARA is standing inside the open closet door. As ADAM talks,

she glances at her non-reflection in the mirror. She touches the

surface of the mirror, and her eyes go wide as her hand

penetrates the surface.

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