Before Sunset Page #7

I've never done this.

- Yeah.

- I forget about how beautiful Paris is.

It's not so bad, being a tourist.

- Thanks for getting me on the boat.

- You're welcome.

I think that book that I wrote

was like building something...

...so that I wouldn't forget the details

of the time that we spent together.

You know, like, just as a reminder,

that once, we really did meet.

You know, that this was real,

this happened.

I'm happy you're saying that,

because...

I mean, I always feel like a freak because

I'm never able to move on like this:

People just have an affair,

or even entire relationships...

...they break up and they forget.

They move on like they would have

changed brand of cereals.

I feel I was never able to forget

anyone I've been with...

...because each person had their own

specific qualities.

You can never replace anyone.

What is lost is lost.

Each relationship, when it ends,

really damages me. I never fully recover.

That's why I'm very careful

with getting involved...

...because it hurts too much.

Even getting laid,

I actually don't do that...

...because I will miss of the person

the most mundane things.

Like I'm obsessed with little things.

Maybe I'm crazy,

but when I was a little girl...

...my mom told me

that I was always late to school.

One day she followed me to see why.

I was looking at chestnuts falling from

the trees, rolling on the sidewalk...

...or ants crossing the road, the way

a leaf casts a shadow on a tree trunk.

Little things.

I think it's the same with people.

I see in them little details,

so specific to each of them...

...that move me and that I miss

and will always miss.

You can never replace anyone...

...because everyone is made of such

beautiful, specific details.

Like, I remember the way your beard

has a bit of red in it...

...and how the sun

was making it glow...

...that morning right before you left.

I remembered that, and I missed it.

Really crazy, right?

Now I know for sure. You wanna

know why I wrote that stupid book?

- Why?

- So you'd come to a reading in Paris...

...and I could walk up to you and ask,

"Where the f*** were you?"

No... You think I'd be here today?

I'm serious. I think I wrote it,

in a way, to try to find you.

Okay, that's... I know that's not true...

...but that's sweet of you.

- I think it is true.

What were the chances

of us ever meeting again?

After that December,

I'd say almost zero.

But we're not real anyway, right?

We're just characters

in that old lady's dream.

She's on her deathbed,

fantasizing about her youth.

So of course we had to meet again.

Oh, God. Why weren't you there

in Vienna?

- I told you why.

- I know why, I just...

I wish you would have been.

Our lives might have been

so much different.

You think so?

I actually do.

Maybe not. Maybe we would have

hated each other eventually.

What, like we hate each other now?

You know, maybe we're...

We're only good at brief encounters...

...walking around in European cities,

in warm climate.

Oh, God. Why didn't we

exchange phone numbers and stuff?

Why didn't we do that?

Because we were young and stupid.

Do you think we still are?

I guess when you're young

you just believe...

...there'll be many people

you'll connect with.

Later in life you realize

it only happens a few times.

And you can screw it up, you know.

Misconnect.

The past is the past.

It was meant to be that way.

You really believe that?

That everything's fated?

Well, you know, the world might be

less free than we think.

Yeah?

When given these exact circumstances,

that's what will happen every time.

Two part hydrogen, one part oxygen,

you'll get water every time.

No, I mean, what if your grandmother

had lived a week longer, you know?

Or passed away a week earlier?

Days, even?

Things might have been different.

- You can't think like that, it's...

- You shouldn't on most things, but...

It's just, on this one, it seemed like

something was off, you know.

In the months leading up to my wedding,

I was thinking about you all the time.

Even on my way there, I'm in the car, a

buddy of mine is driving me downtown...

...and I'm staring out the window

and I think I see you...

...not far from the church, right...

...folding up an umbrella

and walking into a deli...

...on the corner of 3th and Broadway.

And I thought I was going crazy.

But now I think it probably was you.

I lived on th and Broadway.

You see?

So, what is it like to be married?

You haven't talked much about that.

I haven't? How weird.

I don't know. We met, you know,

when I was in college.

And we broke up and got back together

for a period of years, and then...

What? We were sort of back together

and she was pregnant...

...so marriage.

What is she like?

She's a great teacher, a good mom.

She's smart, pretty, you know.

I remember thinking at the time...

...that so many of the men

that I admired most...

...that their lives were dedicated to

something greater than themselves.

So you got married because

men you admired were married?

No, no. It's more like I had this...

This idea of my best self, you know?

And I wanted to pursue that...

...even if it might have been

overriding my honest self.

You know what I'm saying?

In the moment, I remember thinking

it didn't much matter, the who of it all.

I mean, that nobody is gonna be

everything to you...

...and that it's just the action

of committing yourself...

...you know, meeting

your responsibilities, that matters.

I mean, what is love, right,

if it's not respect, trust, admiration?

And I... I felt all those things.

Cut to the present,

and I feel like I'm running a nursery...

...with somebody I used to date,

you know.

I mean, I'm like a monk, you know.

I mean, I've had sex less than 0 times

in the last four years.

- What, what? You laughing at me?

- No.

- It sounds pathetic?

- What monastery do monks have sex...?

Okay, you're right, I'm doing better

than most monks.

But I do, I feel like if somebody

were to touch me...

...I would dissolve into molecules.

Well, we're here. We've gotta go.

Come on.

Sh*t.

- I'm sorry to hear that, you know.

- What?

You're not that happy

with your marriage.

- This friend of mine, she's a shrink...

- How's she doing?

She's a mess, but...

No, she said she's been dealing

with couples that are breaking up...

...for the same reason.

- What reason is that?

They all expected, after a few

years of living together...

...for the passion, that desire,

to be the same.

- Yeah, right.

- It's impossible.

And thank God...

...we'd end up with aneurysms in that

constant state of excitement, right?

We'd do nothing at all

with our lives.

Would you have finished your book

if you were f***ing every five minutes?

I might have welcomed the challenge,

I mean...

It's natural for your wife

after the birth of your son...

...to give all her love to the little one.

- Of course.

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