Behind Enemy Lines: Axis of Evil Page #2

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You don't think the North Koreans

would pick up a commercial airliner...

leaving from a U.S. Military base

in South Korea?

Leaving from a U.S. Military base

in South Korea?

Sir, we would just dress

the SEALs up...

walk 'em right through

Incheon International...

put 'em on a chartered

commercial airliner and take off...

mixed right in with civilian traffic.

Completely undetectable.

We would deploy over North Korea...

glide the 60 miles

to the Yongjiri missile site...

and sabotage the missile

as it's being fueled.

Secondary explosions

should destroy the entire complex.

Whole thing will be perceived

as an industrial accident of some kind.

North Korea'd have

no grounds to retaliate.

And if it turned out to be a nuclear warhead,

what about the radiation?

The blast from the fuel explosions

would be massive, sir.

Even though it wouldn't be

an atomic blast...

it would probably create

its own mushroom cloud.

The heat from the blast would

incinerate any nuclear materials...

alleviating any radiation concerns.

Sir, I don't recommend this.

If they're detected, it's an act of war,

and we lose the element of surprise.

What's the window of opportunity

to explore a Special Ops plan?

I'd say 72 hours,

but I wouldn't...

- Seventy-two hours.

- Sir, a covert action?

L...We need to send a strong

proportional and visible response...

to the North Koreans...

to the whole world...

to put them on notice

that that dog don't hunt.

We will never allow them

to be an I.C.B.M. Power.

Commander Mackey,

could you be ready in 72 hours?

Yes, sir. I believe

we could be ready.

Admiral?

It's not much time to put

a mission together, sir, but...

I understand.

Gentlemen, keep up

with your preparations.

I'll give you a decision

within six hours.

Yes, sir. We'll give it

everything we've got.

Thank you, Mr. President.

"Give it everything we've got."

Tell me I didn't just say that.

What are you looking at?

- Get Lieutenant James in here.

- Yes, sir.

Mr. President...

Kim Jong II is 5'2".

He wears four-inch lifts.

He lives in a pleasure palace where he

indulges his penchant for Swedish prostitutes.

This missile is pompous grandstanding

by a very small man.

Sir, in 1996, the Korea Institute

for National Reunification...

applied a computer model that accurately

predicted Eastern Europe's collapse.

- Yeah?

- According to the model...

North Korea

should have collapsed in 1992.

I say we give this job to Special Ops

and make this all go away...

and let North Korea collapse

when it collapses.

Cam?

Yeah.

Okay.

Tell Mackey his mission is a "go."

But keep General Vance

and his Stealth bombers on standby...

should the SEALs fail.

- Lieutenant.

- Colonel. Thanks for the lift today, sir.

- They gave us a nice plane for this one.

- I see that.

- We gonna get miles for this?

- No, but I did order you the kosher meal.

- L.T.C.

- Guys, grab a seat and stow your stuff.

Let me know when you and your guys

get settled in. We'll be on our way.

Appreciate the hell

outta that, sir.

- Hoo-ya, Lieutenant James.

- Hoo-ya, Shultiess.

- How you feelin' today, papa?

- I feel immortal.

- I'm "the Stoke."

- Stoke?

- Oh, it's just my new call sign.

- Wasn't aware you had an old one.

Well, my old one was for mortals,

and I am immortal.

- I'm the Stoke.

- Whatever.

Okay. Good evening, gentlemen...

and welcome to United States

Air force light 738...

with nonstop service

to the skies over North Korea...

where we'll be jumping from an altitude

of approximately 33,000 feet.

Meideros in the hatch.

Barnes, Shultiess, Ballantine.

AK-47s.

Not a scratch, guys.

The airline wants this plane back...

in the same condition

they gave it to us in.

- You got it, Daiwi.

- Daiwi? Why do you guys call him that?

I don't call him that, but I've known him

since, like, the second grade.

- Hey, hey! What did he just say?

- I'm sorry.

It's okay, kid.

Hey, you scared?

Don't lie to me.

I don't know.

Maybe... Maybe a little.

Damn straight you're scared.

Who wouldn't be?

- Yeah.

- Yeah.

Stick with me, kid.

I'm immortal.

Go. Go.

Yeah. A P.V.C. 77 SATCOM.

That's you, schoolboy.

- Give it to Ballantine.

- I got it.

Okay, gentleman,

time to give up the personal sh*t.

Throw in the jewels. Let's go, boys.

Be careful with that. That's my wife.

I want these back.

What are those, son?

I said, what are those, Ensign?

- Silver wings, Master Chief!

- Bullshit!

Army lead wings, son.

You get 'em inside CrackerJacks.

- Where'd you get 'em, son?

- Ort Benning, Master Chief.

Ort Benning, Georgia.

The army's version of 48 hours

of intensive training...

crammed into 21 days.

Making p*ssy...ass static...line jumps

out of an Army C...141...

and landing on firm ground.

My one...year...old, Scott Jr.,

can do that.

- You see these?

- Yes, Master Chief.

Navy gold wings, son.

Get those out of my sight. I will teach you

to drop like a Navy SEAL...

from heights where there's

no air to breathe...

into water so cold

you'll wish you was dead.

You will drop at night

with N.V.G.'s...

fall five minutes

before you pull your cord.

And if you manage

to stay alive through all that...

we'll see about getting you

a pair of these.

Is that clear?

Hoo...ya, Master Chief!

I don't know why you

always bring these, sir.

You just make sure

I get 'em back.

Yes, sir.

Check your "O" rings.

How you doin' there, Shultiess?

Good, sir.

Sir, it says here that the Koreans,

uh, believe in shamans.

Sometimes he appears as an old man.

Sometimes as a tiger.

- Sometimes as a leopard.

- Everything's gonna be all right.

Y...Uh...

It's just, uh...

I was glad to read

about those shamans, you know?

I don't want to die

in a godless land, sir. That's all.

Hey.

Nobody's dying from my stick.

You copy that, sailor?

Yes, sir.

Makes me look bad.

- Pressurize in six.

- Pressurize in six.

Six minutes. Six. Six to go.

On deck. Six minutes.

- Sir, we're ready for the bounce.

- Okay.

Two minutes.

- All right, listen up.

- What is your problem?

I'm throwing up.

I hate jumping out of airplanes.

- Swallow it.

- I am.

"Pencil...dick" engineers

designed this aircraft...

to carry p*ssy...ass businessmen

from Omaha to St. Louis.

If they see you chuckin',

they're gonna red tag you.

We may find it useful to jump out of

a commercial piece of sh*t such as this.

What I don't get is why you go Navy SEALs

when you hate jumping out of airplanes.

I like swimming.

I'm a good swimmer.

Depressurize.

Now, obviously,

the pencil d*cks in Seattle...

didn't design this ramp

to be deployed under these conditions.

The system's hydraulics can't compete

with the overwhelming force...

of the airstreams

under the fuselage...

preventing the stairs

from locking into place.

Fortunately, the U.S. Navy

has devised "the bounce."

Now, personally...

I've seen men injured, maimed...

and even killed

attempting to do this.

So I suggest you pay close att...

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