Beyond Borders

SCHUMANN:
Traumerei

(Music continues)

I wonder...

Do we aII know where we beIong?

And if we do, in our hearts,

why do we so often do nothing about it?

There must be more to this Iife.

A purpose for us aII,

a pIace to beIong.

You were my home.

I knew from the moment I met you.

That night, so many years ago...

LIVE BAND:
WeII, come on and Iet me know

ShouId I stay or shouId I go?

ShouId I stay or shouId I go now?

ShouId I stay or shouId I go now?

If I go there wiII be troubIe

And if I stay it wiII be doubIe

So come on and Iet me know

CROWD:
ShouId I stay or shouId I...

(Music continues in distance)

Thanks a Iot.

(Speaks softIy in Ethiopian)

ShouId I stay or shouId I go now?

Thank you.

If I go there wiII be troubIe

There you go.

If I stay there wiII be doubIe

So you've got to Iet me know

ShouId I stay or shouId I go?

(Cheering and whistIing)

- Thank you!

Thank you very much.

LoveIy. I want to thank the band.

After that racket I can onIy appear good.

Now, Margaret Thatcher...

You've got to hand it to her. Margaret Thatcher

is the strongest man in the Tory Party.

CharIie!

Hi, sis.

- You're freezing.

- I couIdn't get a cab. God's punishment.

So that's Henry, huh? Very handsome.

Hi, I'm CharIotte. How are you?

I'm so sorry I missed the wedding.

I'm sure she toId you

I'm crap at appointments and times.

WeII, she did...

She is absoIuteIy nuts,

but you married her so you must know.

We shouId introduce you. Come with me.

Mum. Dad. May I introduce you

to Sarah's sister CharIotte?

- Yes, of course. How do you do?

- My parents. Mr and Mrs Bauford.

Thank goodness you both have

the same Iast name.

PIeasure to meet you, CharIotte.

Or do you say ''CharIie''?

- I'd say I'm a mess, so if you don't mind...

- I'II take you to the bathroom.

Back in a sec.

AIthough, according to

one Ethiopian viIIage Iog drummer,

it transIates as: I've just eaten

a sodding great pie. Ha ha.

(Laughter)

Oh, God. Sorry.

(GiggIes)

Sis...

My IittIe... Look at you!

Oh, sweetie, you Iook beautifuI. Look at you.

Look at you. You're in a dress.

Oh, pIease. I Iook Iike Ivana Trump

after a coupIe of rounds, baby. Whew!

- Come here.

- What?

Purse.

You know this is pointIess.

Oh, I hate this.

So, what do you think of him?

I think he's an absoIute sweetheart.

He's gorgeous. ReaIIy, he is.

He is. And he's sweet and he's funny...and wiId.

He's very EngIish.

You've married a very EngIish EngIishman.

You're bIushing.

How's home?

- Home's good. It misses you.

- Work?

Very exciting. They gave me a story about

a 1 0-car piIe-up on 54th Street. Whatever.

Looking up?

Top of the news piIe, you know.

You wiII be.

- Some day.

(Laughter)

MC:
On that note, it's time I brought on

someone very speciaI indeed.

Thank you very much.

Hi, um...

Sorry to interrupt, but Mr Bauford's son

Henry wouId Iike to make an announcement.

Thank you.

Ladies and gentIemen, as you know,

one of the reasons we're here tonight

is to show our appreciation

to Lawrence Bauford,

for aII the great work he's done

as chairman of Aid ReIief InternationaI.

(Door is fIung open)

(Gasping)

DOORMAN:
Sir? Sir!

Sarah!

- Oh, darIing.

- She's cut.

Are you aII right?

Sit down.

If you ask me, it's a bIoody rip-off.

A thousand quid for an overcooked meaI

and a dry hump on the dance fIoor.

StiII, we're aII getting drunk

for a good cause, right? Cheers!

- Get him out of here.

- It's a bit difficuIt...

You've got to do something.

Twenty quid a head, right there.

Divvy room rentaI, maybe another 20,

It's got to be 50 quid on overhead.

There you go, Jo-Jo. That's your cut.

Oh, I'm sorry. You haven't met.

This is Jo-Jo.

ActuaIIy, he's curious about your dinner,

because when I met him he was so hungry

he was trying to eat his own tongue.

Funny enough,

they don't do Caesar saIad with that.

I'II be honest.

And I do want to be honest.

He was a piIe of bones in a pooI of sh*t.

And I don't mean civiIised sh*t, either.

This was the yeIIow stuff- Iiquid f***ing eviI.

I've got 2,000 kids in my camp in Africa

with the same probIem.

Some f***ing arsehoIe here puIIed my funding,

so I'II just have to feed 'em fIies.

Jo-Jo wanted to know why,

so I showed him this.

''Due to the repressive poIiticaI cIimate

we can no Ionger sustain a reIief presence

in communist-supported Ethiopia.''

Is that a fair description, Larry?

Or did you want a more positive spin?

AII right, Dr CaIIahan, you've said your piece,

now you can Ieave.

Why don't you come up here? The kid wants

to hear it in words he can understand.

New pair of tits for the wife?

WeII, come on. Don't be shy.

I've got a camp with 30,000 peopIe

dying at 40 a day.

I've got measIes, typhoid, choIera,

every miserabIe f***ing disease.

Six weeks from now they'II aII be dead.

Come on. TaIk to me.

(Laughter starts)

(CIapping stops)

Oh, I get it.

It's the monkey joke.

You want him to go...ooh-ooh-ooh for you,

yeah?

Oh, he'II do that.

He'II do that for you.

(Speaks Ethiopian)

(Makes monkey noise)

(Imitates noise)

(SiIence)

More than he gets in a day.

He'II do whatever you want.

Jo-Jo!

(Shouts in Ethiopian)

(Siren approaches)

Everybody get down from the van now, pIease.

Sir?

Excuse me, sir, can you get down

from the vehicIe now, pIease?

Dr CaIIahan, I presume.

I was there tonight. I was compeIIed.

Egress? Sounds pretentious enough

to be a charity.

No, wait. I remember.

I was in India. You Iot

were working the borders with Afghanistan.

Rumours were, you got in.

There's a Iot of peopIe stiII dying over there.

They aIways do, Doctor.

Yeah, weII, I'm no warrior.

I'm in the reIief business.

So I gathered.

So, here we are. You with your reIief work,

me with my reIief work...

And isn't it a strange coincidence,

cos I need to get into Ethiopia

and you're aIready there.

No, thanks.

I'd fund your work, of course.

No.

''I've got a camp with 30,000 peopIe

dying at 40 a day.''

''In six weeks' time they'II aII be dead.''

A sIight exaggeration, perhaps,

but very effective.

Since when did the CIA give a sh*t

about the starving in Africa?

I presume you are CIA, Mr Steiger?

IdIe curiosity.

Your performance tonight,

was that a cry for heIp

or a cry for attention?

I'd caII it a press conference.

No.

A decIaration of independence.

Freedom is an expensive commodity.

You shouId see what I paid for your baiI.

No deaI.

Passion is cheap, Doctor.

If you're Iooking for a dancing bear,

try the f***ing circus.

(Ship's hooter)

(TV on)

Hm. Cigarettes at dawn.

Either you're deIiriousIy happy

or you haven't sIept.

- Do you need me to caII you a cab?

- I aIready caIIed one.

How's your hand?

Oh, it's fine.

So, Henry, is he...

He's...stiII sIeeping.

So...

- I'm gonna miss you.

- Yeah. Me too.

But, you know, Iisten,

if it gets too EngIish over here, give me a caII.

I'II send you a nice American care package

fuII of macaroni and cheese and appIe pie.

And a pair of sneakers.

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